Eric Keenleyside

A Royal Montana Christmas

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Dude!

It’s not often that I have nothing to say. The title says it all. But it’s the Saturday premiere of the first movie in Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas. So. The overscheduled and stressed out Princess Victoria of Zelarnia escapes to a Montana dude ranch where she went as a child with her late father for a little R and R and falls for Huntley, the son of the owners. Besides having no free time in Zelarnia she is discouraged from being herself or straying outside the lines in any way, shape, or form while doing her princessly duties. After Christmas she will be taking over for her mother the queen full time. Luckily her mother is supportive and Victoria doesn’t really so much as “escape” but is allowed to go to Montana as long as she takes her head scheduler and assistant, Gabriel along with her and is back by December 19th for the official lighting of the third Advent candle. Also she has a nice sister, who is much more suited for her duties than Victoria is, to fill in. Gabriel is from New York City, and he will help Victoria navigate the strange ranch customs of America. In the one amusing line, Gabriel protests that the only ranch he is “acquainted with is ranch dressing.”

And that is pretty much that. No one recognizes her at all, so there is no cloak and dagger hiding her identity or escaping from the paparazzi going on. The fact that she is a royal princess doesn’t really play into the story at all. No culture shock, no nothing. She might as well be another Hallmark American stressed out business woman on vacation. Except for the German (?) accent. Even citified prissy Gabriel is a good sport about all they have to go through. For some strange reason, Victoria and Gabriel, paying guests mind you, are given nasty chores on their first day including mucking out the stalls (“Charlie made a big ole mess last night.” snicker snicker. Charlie being a horse.) There is some mystery about why they no longer have the annual Christmas dance which Victoria remembers so fondly.  But with the help of Huntley’s gorgeous high school friend, Shelby, she enthusiastically and competently revives it to raise money for the volunteer fire department. Shelby is nice and even though she and Huntley were the homecoming Queen and King there is no romance there at all. Drama and misunderstandings averted. Huntley’s deal is that he used to be a baseball player and even made it to the pros. But he blew out his rotator cuff during his first spring training, letting down his community who cheered him on at the last Christmas Dance that they held many years ago.  Next year’s dance was canceled because his parents were too busy seeing to his recovery. Ever since, instead of helping his parents run the ranch full time he has been assistant coaching unhappily in the minor leagues there in the hinterlands of Billings Montana and struggling with some kind of complex for letting down his community. The community doesn’t care, bro. They are too busy with their own lives.

When the Christmas dance is scheduled the day after Victoria is supposed to leave she just calls up her mom and gets an extension. No problemo. Meanwhile Huntley and Victoria have fallen in love while doing ranch activities under the big sky of Montana. At one point things get serious (they almost kiss) and she tells him she is a real princess. No problemo. Even though he is now going to help run the ranch full time, and her destiny is in Zelarnia, they are going to work it out and be together “as a team”, “whatever that looks like.” Holy matrimony is not mentioned. Sure enough, she goes back to Zelarnia to light the last Advent candle, and comes back seemingly the next day (going by what I know about Advent Candles) on Christmas to live the dream in Montana with her mother and sister in tow. They fit right in and little sis happily agrees to take over Victoria’s princess duties for ever after they get back home.

This one was not an auspicious start to Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas 2025 version. Fiona Gubelman and Warren Christie were well cast, had good chemistry and did the best they could with a really boring script. Warren looks excellent in a Cowboy hat and the kisses were solid.

Rating: 5 out of 10.

The Wish Swap

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If Wishes were Chickens

Emily Tennant, fresh from her role as an adversarial sister in a Countdown to Christmas movie, is back in the saddle as the main girl In The Wish Swap. She is paired with Jake Foy, who has worked in Hallmark movies before, but not in quite awhile. I really liked him and would like to see him cast in more lead roles. And ones that require flannel. Casey is an executive recruiter for a large company and her fatal flaw is that she carries self sufficiency too far. She wants to do everything herself and won’t ask for help when she could use it. Henry manages a large farm and doesn’t really have a fatal flaw, except he is kind of reserved, likes to stay in the background, and won’t “put himself out there” as they say. They first meet at a restaurant where they are meeting friends (Casey) and family (Henry) to celebrate their birthdays. The two parties are seated next to each other and the sparks fly immediately. When Casey’s friends bring out a birthday cake, Casey offers to share it with Henry’s party. Casey is very open and outgoing, the opposite of Henry. They make their birthday wishes and blow out the candles together. And that’s where the title of this movie comes in. Somehow (we are never told why or how) their wishes come true, but Casey gets Henry’s wish of owning his own farm, and Henry gets Casey’s wish of being on “Dancing Your Heart Out,” a reality show like Dancing with the Stars but with ordinary people.

Casey figures out what happened right away, doesn’t even freak out like any normal person would, but finds Henry and explains what happened. He doesn’t freak out either. She makes a deal with him. If she can be his partner on the national dance contest, she will let him run her farm for a whole year part time as a second job so he can save up enough money to buy his own place. Being on a nationwide dance show is Henry’s worse nightmare, but he agrees. What she doesn’t tell him is that her birthday wish is actually three wishes. What could be worse for a reserved somewhat shy person like Henry than being on a nationwide dance show? How about doing a stand up comedy routine in front of a club full of people? In order to get Henry to agree to be her partner in comedy she ups the ante by promising Henry part ownership of her farm. That is his dream and he cannot refuse. Casey’s third wish is a secret.

This was a cute movie with a better than average script. The banter between the various characters was amusing and everyone was likable. Nary a bad guy in the bunch which can be refreshing. What with Henry being forced out of his comfort zone with the dancing and having to do a comedy routine (which wasn’t half bad) with Casey, there was plenty of opportunity for situational comedy as well as romance. And of course the same goes for city girl Casey’s struggles working with Henry doing the usual Farm duties on the most darling little farm ever.

Henry’s sister Charlotte (Molly Saunders-possible Hallmark lead in training?) who helped out on the farm added value and a nice way with a line. Along with her wannabe boyfriend she provided the secondary romance. The last minute conflict was on the lame side, but in order for the couple to have their happy ending,  they had to prove they had learned their life lessons once and for all as well as seal the deal on their love story. But do they win the dance contest? I thought the writers had left a loose end, but the very last scene provides the answer.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

A Country Wedding and The Perfect Catch

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A Reassessment

Withdrawal from my routine of watching then reviewing the new Hallmark (and occasionally other) Christmas movies led me to re-watch two old Hallmarks from 2015 and 2017. These are ones that I have rated but never reviewed. A Country Wedding, I originally rated as a 7, and The Perfect Catch I rated as a 6. A Country Wedding is a favorite with Hallmarkies with glowing reviews on IMDb and is frequently included in “All-time Favorite, Best of” type lists. Also, it stars one of my favorites, Autumn Reeser.  I anticipated going up in my rating as is usual with movies that I originally rated long ago. With due respect for their recent first-rate efforts, I have sadly had to adjust my standards downwards for Hallmarks in the last few years. At the end, it remained a 7. The Perfect Catch stars a favorite duo:  Nikki Deloach and Andrew Walker. I bumped this one up to a 7 when I finished with it.

I was pretty disappointed in A Country Wedding given my expectations.  Autumn as the owner of a struggling horse rescue ranch was great of course, and Jesse Metcalfe as a country music star was a good match for her.  Also good was Laura Mennell in a ropy blond wig as Jesse’s movie star fiance as was Lauren Holly as her henchwoman/manager. Jesse leaves  Lauren in Hollywood while he cuts ties with his past by finally selling his dead family’s old farm. While there in the country he gets re-acquainted with his old childhood best friend and next-door neighbor, played by Autumn.

There were two main reasons why this one did not impress me as much as I thought it would. First, the southern accents were way over the top and really got on my nerves. Related is the SOP of stereotyping southern small-town people. More importantly, were the characters of the two leads. Autumn was smart and strong. Jesse was dumb and weak. What was he doing engaged to that shallow self-centered Hollywood thing to begin with?  But worse, he persists in stubbornly deceiving himself that he lu-u-u-vs her and continues planning the wedding in the face of huge red flags, not to mention his growing love for Autumn. She is helping him plan the wedding as he had the fine idea to get married there in a barn instead of in Hollywood. When he kisses her in front of everyone on a crowded dance floor, Autumn wisely realizes she is getting in over her head with an engaged man and backs off. Jesse won’t let her alone and follows her around like a puppy dog. He doesn’t get it. Since he won’t take the hint, Autumn is forced to lay it all on the table with no kidding around, even telling him that he does not love his fiance because he doesn’t even know her.  This straightforward honesty is rare in a Hallmark. But instead of seeing the light, he ignores the good advice and ends up apologizing for the kiss explaining that he just got “lost in the moment” and was carried away. It takes the spectacular arrival of his fiance and a lot more hits with the clue stick before he finally finally finally wises up. Autumn takes him back at the end, the fact that he bought her ranch (without knowing it!) having nothing to do with it, of course.

A Perfect Catch met my expectations of impressing me more now than it did originally. It deserved to be bumped up a notch. First of all the easy rapport between Nikki Deloach and Andrew Walker was very enjoyable as usual. Andrew plays a star pitcher who hasn’t been able to find a new team after giving up a grand slam in the World Series. He returns to his hometown and his Mom and Dad to lay low while waiting on his agent to bring him some good news. He meets his old girlfriend, Nikki, who owns a struggling diner in town. She is a divorced single mother of a son who loves baseball but is awful at it.  While he coaches her son he starts to feel more and more at home in the small town and with Nikki. Meanwhile, he repairs the strained relationship with his Dad and encourages Nikki in her brave idea for boosting the diner’s profile and sales. Even though she is in debt and against the advice of her stick-in-the-mud risk-averse accountant boyfriend, she buys a food truck. Her standing her ground against her boyfriend and giving him the heave-ho in a timely and decisive manner is definitely cheer-worthy. And the food truck is a massive success! Yay! Andrew retires from pitching but gets a great position in  MLB that allows him to stay with Nikki and her son! Yay! Plus he will coach at the local school! Yay! And the kid hits a home run! Yay! Totally predictable but very satisfying with an especially neatly resolved and very happy ending for everyone involved. And a special shout out to Lisa Durupt, Hallmark sister/supportive friend/ second fiddle extraordinaire who gives another cute and charming performance. Also liked Andrew’s haircut. He should go back to that floppy-hair look.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

Rip in Time

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Hall of Fame Worthy-It’s About Time!

I had very high hopes for this one, and I was not disappointed. It debuted on Hallmark Murders and Mysteries which serves as the home of more serious movies that don’t fit the usual Hallmark Romance mold. It was written by C. J. Cox who penned one of the best Hallmarks in recent years, Love Strikes Twice, as well as the Reese Witherspoon favorite Sweet Home Alabama and Rene Zellweger’s New in Town. It starred Niall Matter as Rip Van Winkle’s estranged son who travels from his time to ours and meets single mother Torrey DeVitto, and her son and father, the current owners of the old Van Winkle property.  Time Travel stories are always a safe bet and Niall Matter is a favorite of mine. Torrey DeVitto, not so much, but she was fine in this. Niall seems to have an air of melancholy behind his eyes, which was perfect for this role.

The fish out of water aspect was well done with enough shock and awe at the modern conveniences to make it believable and entertaining, but not so much as to distract from the story and relationship building.

When Torrey, armed with a rifle, and her son first discover Rip cowering in the barn, they flip on the light:

“Are You a Witch?!”

“She was, last Halloween.”

“Please do not shoot me, Witch!”

“Keep Calling me that. Give me a reason.”

…

“Oh. You are a spinster forced to wear pants to protect your family. I did not mean to offend you.”

“I am not a spinster, and I am offended.”

There really wasn’t much of a plot, other than the family not believing his story, trying to figure out who he is really, hiring him as a temporary farmhand rather than having him locked up, and their adventures in New York City to a hypnotist. It is there that he is taken to a doctor which results in a musket ball being removed from his leg. A musket ball that has not been manufactured since 1830 from an old (Revolutionary) war wound. Explain that one, doubters! Because of that musket ball, their last stop is with a quantum physicist (Ben Wilkinson) who posits that time travel is possible and Rip’s story might be true.

Most of the movie is relationship building with Rip helping Torrey’s bullied son, dealing with the jealous suspicions of his rival for Torrey’s affection, a police deputy, and of course the slow burn romance. Also, a festival. Of course.

The writing was full of authentic details, including bringing in Washington Irving’s classic tale and a lecture on farm machinery of the era. Glad to learn about flax breaks.  Not to mention Ben Wilkinson attempting to explain the science behind time travel to a stunned Torrey and a bewildered Rip.

The romantic conclusion was a little too pat, with many future challenges remaining unaddressed.  But the reach across time, by means of a backpack, provided a reconciliation between Rip and his misunderstood father that was touching and satisfying.

Rating: 9 out of 10.

May 24, 2022

A Bride for Christmas

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Great Cast

I recorded this on a whim when I looked at the cast and vaguely remembered that it was pretty good. Sometimes I just don’t have what it takes to invest in a recent premiere movie that I haven’t seen yet. I just read what I wrote there. That is a sad commentary right there. Usually, I look at these re-dos in bed when I wake up in the middle of the night or the last thing before I try to fall asleep.

The plot was entirely predictable of course. The appeal lay in the cast of  Arielle Kebble, Andrew Walker, and Kimberley Sustad in particular. Arielle Kebble is one of the better early Hallmark actresses. Her movies for Hallmark are as memorable as they are few and far between. She is particularly good in those that emphasize lighter comedy rather than earnest heart-tuggery. However don’t count her out when the story calls for heartbreak, however temporary (as this one does). Our heroine is a runaway bride whom we meet Just as she is about to go down the aisle to wed door #3. We know trouble is on the horizon in the dressing room when she asks her mother how she knew her Dad was “the one.” But she walks down the aisle with a big smile. Arielle is very funny as her smile turns from happy and excited then stiff and then a bit panicked as she keeps walking past the wedding party and out the side door without a pause. Andrew Walker does his usual thing (which is a very good thing) as the commitment-phobe who bets his buddies he can get a woman to accept his marriage proposal by Christmas. It was a little unclear what this was meant to prove. He settles on Arielle.

This is classic romantic comedy material as the “player” courts the gun-shy reluctant jilt and they fall in love for real. Kimberly Sustad, who was only 22 when this movie was made, practically a baby by current Hallmark standards, plays Arielle’s sister and turns a nothing part into one in which she almost steals every scene. I also want to single out Sage Brocklebank as Mike, the jilted bridegroom who is a creepy looming presence as he hopes to win Arielle back and sees her and Andrew falling for each other. He manages to elicit both pity for his heartbreak and uneasiness as to what menace he is capable of.

I gave this a ‘7″ initially, but by today’s standards it is a solid “8.” Terrible promotional poster by the way.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

December 26, 2021

Five More Minutes

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A woman’s Christmas wish is answered in unexpected ways when her late grandfather’s journal turns up and reveals an untold romance.

No Beer, Trucks, Guns, or Jesus

I approached this one with a lot of misgiving. I mean, a story based on a country song? By Scotty McCreery? But to my surprise, it was pretty good. Nikki Deloach, who is good as always, is a dedicated Art teacher who is losing her job and is having doubts about her relationship with her boyfriend. She wishes she could have just five more minutes with her beloved late Grandpa who always gave her great advice.

When she goes home to celebrate Christmas(?) Thanksgiving (?) I don’t remember, she finds a journal written by Grandpa when he was a young man detailing his first lost love.  She gets together with an old ex-boyfriend, and they decide to try to find her. Or was that another movie, Christmas Together with You?  They’re already starting to run together a bit. At the same time, a young man shows up for a job at her store because he said her grandpa was going to hire him. He turns out to be a wonder and is the best employee ever. It’s pretty clear from the get-go that something spooky is going on. There are lots of clues, which I’ll keep to myself.

Sherry Miller plays Bonnie, Clara’s mom, who lost her husband about a year ago. She looks great. I always think of the actress with fondness because she was in one of my favorite TV romcom movies, This Matter of Marriage, back in the late ‘90s when she was a young whippersnapper. Highly recommend. She has her own romance along with her daughter finding love with her ex, Logan, and dumping her current beau. I liked that Bonnie did not approve of the ex, who behaved badly dumping Clara when they were teens, and kept giving him the stink-eye. She came around though.

There were a couple of things I did not like. Despite both Clara and Logan being established as Hallmark paragons of niceness, they both behaved badly. Logan kept putting the moves on Clara even after she said she had a boyfriend. And Clara totally dumped Logan and canceled an invitation for the family-less guy to spend Thanksgiving (?) Christmas (?) with her family just because he was called back to active duty. This was really low behavior and hardly patriotic or compassionate. Also contrary to the Hallmark ethos.  The third thing I didn’t like was the under-use of Leanne Lapp who played Clara’s sister and a favorite of mine.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

December 22, 2021

Raise a Glass to Love

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Subtle Overtones and a Smooth Finish

I went into this one without too many high hopes. Wine has become the new dessert food as far as Hallmark food themes go. Also, I have not been overly impressed with the female lead, Laura Osnes. She’s been OK, but just kind of  “meh.”  I liked her in this, and I loved the male lead, Juan Pablo Di Pace. His chemistry with Laura was definitely there, although in truth he would probably have had chemistry with a fence post.

This one centered around a  female character dealing with feminist challenges. Jenna is studying for her 3rd try at passing the notoriously difficult sommelier exam to become a master sommelier. In the United States, there are only 172 of which only 28 are women. One of these real-life women has a small but important role in this movie. The background provided was interesting and educational.

Jenna is the daughter of legacy vineyard owners and a lifelong wine lover. She has a long-term relationship with the owner of a 3-star Michelin restaurant (Matthew James Dowden). Her dream is to become the restaurant’s sommelier. But to become qualified for that position, as in any Michelin-rated restaurant, she must pass her master’s exam. She goes home to her parents’ vineyard to study and meets our hero, her family vineyard’s innovative new Argentinian winemaker. As they spend more time together, she realizes that not only is she attracted to him but that his attitudes and dreams are more of a match to hers than her current boyfriend’s are. Aiden does not respect her opinion on wine and when his master sommelier quits for a better opportunity, he does not even consider her for the position. He apparently has no faith that she will pass her master test. In a bit of a twist, when she finally lays all of her feelings and dreams on the table, he changes his mind and hires her whether she passes her test or not. This was actually pretty big for him. Despite this hiccup that separates the potential soulmates, it soon becomes clear that he still doesn’t trust or respect her judgment fully. He depends too much on outside validation such as diplomas and awards on the wine he wants in his restaurant rather than her infallible instinct and taste. His number one concern is the success of his restaurant. Ultimately, she realizes he is a follower, not a leader, and she rightly leaves him and her job. He wasn’t bad, or even wrong. They just did not have the same priorities. The reunion of the two wine lovers is romantic and even touching. They are a perfect match.

It is not rare that Hallmark champions women pursuing their professional dreams over romance (as long as they can have both), but this one was handled with more sophistication and subtlety than the usual Good vs. Bad Boyfriend trope. It added some complications, real-life challenges, and hard decisions that women are faced with when finding their best path to happiness and fulfillment.

P.S. Speaking of sophistication, kudos to the design team on the fresh approach to the promotional poster. Nice to see some whimsy for a change.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

September 24, 2021

The Baker’s Son

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I Apologize in Advance for such a Shallow Review

Eloise Mumford was in one of my worst-reviewed movies of 2018 but it totally was not her fault. I like her, as well as her co-lead, Brant Daugherty. He’s not a favorite of mine, but he gets the job done. The friends-to-lovers plot was good, and I didn’t mind the magical bad bread-good bread-bad bread plot line. It was something a little different from Hallmark. I liked the setting and Brenda Crichlow always does a great job. I even thought the mayor was funny.

Here comes the shallow part.

What the heck was with Eloise’s lank hair and harsh makeup? Her hair was a dull mousy brown and looked like it was chopped off with an ax. And her make-up! What was she trying to convey there? Or hide? Did she get a rash? She is a natural beauty and probably needs only subtle highlights. It aged her at least 10 years. Her foundation seemed to crack at every laugh line and crinkle. Terrible choice of lip color throughout much of the movie, and too much eye stuff. Make-up tip #1: Bold Lip or Dramatic eyes, but not both. And as usual, Hallmark actresses do red carpet-level make-up for an ordinary workday at an ordinary modest job. Eloise’s look was a bad choice and totally fixable. I would not comment otherwise.

P. S. Upon further investigation, I see her hair was probably due to her role as Trudy Cooper in The Right Stuff. So maybe I was a tad too harsh. About her hair. But Gosh, couldn’t they have put it in a ponytail? Or something?

Before
After

Rating: 7 out of 10.

June 14, 2021