Baby, It’s Cold Inside

Bait and Switch

I signed up for a Hallmark movie and got an infomercial for the Ice Hotel in Canada. Except the script would have been better in the infomercial. The lead actress, Joceyln Hudon, droned her part out in a monotone like she couldn’t get the words out fast enough so she could be done with it. Not that I blame her. Meryl Streep couldn’t have created any interest with this lifeless script. She was pretty, blonde, and boring. Her main personality trait was being cutely clumsy. I’ve liked Steve Lund in other parts, so I’ll just move on.

This travelogue consisted of jumping from one cold weather activity to another. Baking authentic Nordic food, sliding down ice slides, hot-tubbing, touring the hotel, snow shoeing, glass-blowing, maple syrup making, and northern lights viewing. After about an hour of this frantic activity, the heroine actually asks the hotel owner what there is to do in the area. I kid you not. The most exciting thing that happened was the influential hotel reviewer got a maple syrup pop stock on his hat. There was a bit at the end where the dead-eyed jealous hotel manager (who actually was pretty scary with her coiled hostility masked by her friendly courtesy) said some mean things to our heroine and briefly scared her off the trail of a new career path and a cute boyfriend. But by that time it was too late. Thanks to that hotel hat guy (who reappeared in one of the strangest caps unless you were impersonating an Army Ranger, ever) disaster was averted.

This is the second Hallmark movie starring the Ice Hotel. I think an investigation is in order. **2 stars out of 10**

May 13, 2021

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