Royal

Fit for a Prince

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So Bad It’s Almost Good. No, Not Really, It’s Just Bad.

Cindy Cordella is a seamstress at premier dress designer Rebecca’s dress shop. Little does anyone know that it is Cindy the Drudge who is doing all of the dress designing without proper recognition. Rebecca’s shop is hired to do the dresses for the wedding of the year that Prince Ronan is expected to attend. Cindy hopes that if she does a good job her loyalty will be rewarded. Prince Ronan visits the shop, meets Cindy, and they hit it off much to the displeasure of two jealous females. Does this sound familiar?

I guess someone there at Hallmark supposes that the narrow-chested, delicate, bland looks of the actor who played Prince Ronan convey an aristocratic aura because this is the second time he has played a prince. To me, he is miscast as a romantic lead unless it is in a romantic dark-horse underdog role. The testosterone is low in this one. And I don’t always prefer a Steve Bacic or a Ben Ayers, Kris Polaha, or Antonio Cupo. I also like sweet and funny types like Luke Macfarlane and Paul Campbell.

Now on to Natalie Hall. Apparently, Hallmark has decided that she is the go-to female lead when youth and prettiness are required. And when I say youth, I mean closer to 30 than 40 or 45. Unfortunately, she has little else to offer. She’s not bad but nothing to be especially worthy of scoring 6 Hallmark lead roles in 2 years. The usual Hallmark workhorses had better watch their backs even though most of them have more acting talent, charm, appeal, and charisma despite their age.

Others have pointed out many of the ridiculous plot points that abound in this disaster. Pro Tip: Don’t eat greasy pizza while handling your dress materials. Tip: don’t roll your rack of dresses anywhere near a chocolate fountain. But their ballroom dance at the end was my pick for “most cringe-worthy scene.” It looked like a losing effort on Dancing with the Stars. I thought it couldn’t get worse until she broke into a solo routine that would have embarrassed famous bad dancer Elaine Benes from Seinfeld. I thought at one point she was going to drop to the floor and twirl around on her butt. The worst thing in the whole mess was the lack of resolution to the mismatch of how a King was going to unite with an ambitious workaholic partner in a global corporation. It’s scary to think this one might need a sequel.

Rating: 2 out of 10.

March 9, 2021

Christmas With a Crown

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Save the Library

This is a no more than serviceable Prince Pretending to be a Commoner in America story. He is visiting a small town trying to discover the true meaning of Christmas, so camouflaged as it is in the palace by meaningless tradition and formality. He goes to the town where a late former friend of his mother lived and that to him embodies the spirit of Christmas via her letters to his mother, the queen. He gets on the wrong side of a woman who is trying to save the local library by reviving her mother’s yearly project, the Winter Fest. Her mother, it turns out, just happens to be the woman whose letters to his mother have brought him to town.

Teryl Rothery plays the queen, who is pretty unpleasant throughout almost the whole movie. Marcus Rosner, a Hallmark veteran is good as the square-jawed dimpled prince. He was princely. I actually liked his use of a quasi-English accent when in his prince persona and an American accent when in disguise. Unfortunately, the actress who played his love interest was not a good match, in my opinion. For one thing, she seemed too mature and worldly-wise to be a romantic lead for a prince in disguise in Small-Town U. S. A. The character got on my bad side right away by foolishly turning down his enthusiastic offer of help with saving the library because he was a visitor and not “part of the community.” Especially since No One in the Actual “Community” stepped up to the plate. Everyone had an excuse.

There is a priceless scene near the end of the movie where Queen Teryl orders Prince Nicolas to kneel before her and pulls out a crown that looks like it was snagged from the Burger King mascot. She **spoiler alert**coronates her son right there in the middle of Winter Fest. I’m not sure whether this added a star to my rating or subtracted a star. But one thing for sure, Teryl and Marcus looked distinctly uncomfortable.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

December 14, 2021

Royally Wrapped for Christmas

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That’s a Wrap!

This took the corny fairytale aspects of the heavily clichéd royal plotline to a new level. It was enjoyable. If you were 10. I checked this out solely because of Brendan Fehr who has had a lot of chemistry with his costars and lots of charisma on his own in the two other movies I have seen in him.

In this one, Jen Lilley plays the head of the New York branch of the royal charity of Veronia. The prince visits one day incognito and they are both secretly smitten. Next thing you know, she is invited to Veronia along with the Dublin head and the Mumbai head to help with the 100th anniversary of the Christmas charity. Little do they know that they are being screened to see which one of these top performers gets the big promotion to the worldwide director of the charity.

I won’t go further into the plot, but rest assured it involves a disapproving Queen, an unwelcome arranged marriage, heartwarming interactions with the peasant children, a cheating rival, a supportive friend, a Gala ball, and a public proposal of marriage despite not even a kiss. That’s all fine. I didn’t expect anything different. However, Jen Lilley and the character she played got on my last nerve. I am usually fairly neutral about her as an actress, but this one really highlighted why she is not a favorite. Her character was so humble and self-effacing she came across as more of a spiritless victim who wouldn’t say boo to a goose than an intelligent capable woman. I can’t really be mean about the actress, because that is the part she was playing, after all. But let’s just say she was perfectly cast. No one can do self-deprecating and shy, with those huge goo-goo eyes, like she can. The character was so kind, so sweet, and so gentle that if I had been the prince I would have wondered what she was up to. At one point her colleague says, “Stop making yourself so small!” Thank-you! In a few scenes, she even comes across as disingenuous. GAC had a strong start this season, but as Hallmark is well aware, you can’t win them all!

Rating: 4 out of 10.

November 29, 2021

A Christmas in Royal Fashion

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Mis-Cast

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I know this was a fairy tale-type movie, so I won’t criticize all of the unlikely events that occur. In fact, I enjoyed the ending where they provided a book end to the story to match the “This is a fantasy-don’t judge us” beginning.

My main problem was with the casting and the acting of Diarmaid Murtagh who played the prince. I should probably blame the director rather than the actor, though. The character was supposed to be an immature and devil-may-care international playboy. That’s why the King sent him to America in place of the ambassador: to learn some responsibility. First off he was too old for the part of an immature scamp who needed to grow up and get his priorities in order. And once he got to America, he had a personality transplant and acted like he had a stick up his you-know-what the whole time. And he acted like he had never been out of the castle. Oooooh…The Ocean. Hardly an international playboy. He might make a good Viking,

but as a suave handsome prince, he was a bust. You know how they say, “He cleaned up well!” ? Stay with the bedraggled Barbarian thing, Diarmaid.

Cindy Busby was likable as usual, as a girl who just wants to do the right thing and a good job, but gets caught up in an embarrassing and career-wrecking situation of her own making.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

November 14, 2021

Christmas With a Prince: The Royal Baby

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Silly and Laborious

This was very silly. The script was silly, some of the acting was silly, and the production values were lacking, which made some of the scenes silly. I’ll deal with the production values first. At one point, we see the hospital where (spoiler alert!) Dr. Tasha our American princess heroine is having her baby. The smoke or steam from a chimney is frozen in midair and not wafting upwards. Obviously, a photograph stuck in front of the camera. And what was Dr. Tasha wearing during a TV interview? A green dress, red shoes, and a yellow hat? Why? Was she impersonating an elf? They didn’t have any clothes in the wardrobe department that went together? The 3rd strike on the cheap budget issue was the fact that one of the main characters, Charles Shaughnessy was seen entirely on video. Even when he was supposed to be in the same building, they talked to him via an electronic device. In the one scene where they couldn’t get around not having his presence (the baptism), he was obviously put in via green screen or some other movie trick. Covid? I guess? But they could have made it more seamless. This was definitely phony-looking. The weird thing was that some of the sets were very lavish looking and authentic. And most of the other wardrobe was unobjectionable.

The acting of two of the actors trying to be funny was laughable. In that they were not funny. Specifically, the actor who played Dr. Tasha’s brother, and the actor who played Blevins, Prince Alexander’s butler(?) courtier(?) Major Domo(?). Their mugging should have been taken down a couple of notches by the director. Speaking of acting, was Princess Tasha having (spoiler alert!)  babies or did she have a cramp in her toe? And speaking of giving birth, No one, including Dr. Tasha or her obstetrician knew she was having (spoiler alert!) twins until the second one popped out? I won’t belabor the silliness of that like I won’t mention the silliness of the possibility of declaring a hospital room part of another country.

I will mention one more silly scene. Nurse Jeff puts an engagement ring into a cup of tea and leaves it on the counter. A hospital employee drinks the tea and just leaves the cup in the sink with the ring still in it. I hope neither of these two is allowed around sick people.  Sorry, one more scene. OK, so Dr. Tasha, who is a highly educated, sophisticated, and worldly woman who has been a princess for over a year, has to be taught table manners before she is allowed to go back to visit her own country? (Don’t reach across the table to grab the roll with your bare hands! Use the tongs!) I admit, although I saw the first one in this trilogy I don’t remember it. And I haven’t seen the second one in the trilogy. But I don’t think it was established that Dr. Tasha was born in a barn.

The main conflict had to do with the king not knowing a girl baby would be able to inherit the throne. He kept insisting the boy was born first even though he was told the girl baby was born first numerous times. I won’t spoil how all that was resolved.

All in all, although I am used to overlooking ridiculous aspects of  Christmas movies no matter what the network and still enjoying them, this one was just too dumb.

Rating: 4 out of 10.

November 14, 2021

The Diana Chronicles

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by Tina Brown

I picked this book up from the library; my interest prodded by Sally Bedell-Smith’s incredibly and obviously resentful and contemptuous take on Diana and mushy worshipful view of Queen Elizabeth. I was looking for a more balanced view of both women. The only quibble I have is how quickly Diana goes from a sweetly dumb romantic (and slightly “off”) teenager to a scary sophisticated savvy and strange woman. Perhaps the progression is unknowable; it seems to be a whole series of tipping points. But boy, it happened quickly! The writing is witty and engaging. Another thing that stands out so is how close the two might have been to making a go of it or at least hung on longer and made their time together much happier and more tolerable. If only Diana had gotten psychological help. If only Camilla Parker-Bowles had just backed off. If only Charles had not been such a jerk. 

Rating: 4 out of 5.

February 12, 2012

Christmas at the Palace

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One Royal Romance too Many (I Wish)

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Could this movie be anymore Hallmark cookie cutter? No, it could not. All of the characters came out of the Hallmark hero and heroine, best friend, child playbook without a bit of alteration. There was not an original second in the whole movie. What gave it a 4? The Prince was very handsome. The princess was a beautiful child. Merritt Patterson was not annoying and was age appropriate for her character, though she was too heavily made up. The setting was pretty. Also, it did not feature a mean royal fiancé or mother. That’s all. Hallmark needs to find a new gimmick. I’m sick and tired of the commoner and the royal fall in love trope.**4 out of 10 stars**

Rating: 4 out of 10.

December 8, 2018

Royal Hearts

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Charming Heroine makes this One Barely Bearable

Cute and likable Cindy Busby accounts for almost all of my stars with one star reserved for the male lead. Royal Hearts is an extremely hackneyed plot which presents no surprises, twists, or suspense. It strictly follows the template set forth in innumerable Royal themed romances. Fish out of water heroine and, in this case, her Dad, shake up the royal protocol, is briefly seduced by a royal handsome bad guy, but ends up with the “poor” commoner she had a meet cute with at the beginning after rubbing each other the wrong way throughout most of the movie. Oh. And the kingdom gains its independence thanks to the Americans. What would they do without us? I started out looking forward to seeing James Brolin, but he quickly out-wore his welcome with his over the top impression of Sam Elliot.

It was kinda funny that the first scene in the movie is Cindy teaching Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, which intentionally or unintentionally hearkens back to her breakthrough role as Elizabeth in Unleashing Mr. Darcy. This was released around 3 months before the sequel to that movie. Coincidence? **6 stars**

Rating: 6 out of 10.

March 3, 2018

A Christmas Prince

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Meh.

This might as well be a Hallmark Movie of no particular note. I almost suspect it is kind of a gentle spoof of all the Hallmark Christmas movie clichés. Snowball fight, hero falling on heroine in the snow, Reserved serious mother/queen unbending, child in the house who starts out as a spoiled brat but turns into an ally of our heroine. I liked the two main leads all right and did enjoy seeing Alice Krige. Maybe I am giving Netflix too much credit and it’s just another in a long line of mediocre Christmas romances. It has no reason to exist. **7 our of 10 stars**

Rating: 7 out of 10.

December 19, 2017

My Christmas Prince

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Pretty Bad

I admit at the outset that I watched about 1/3 of this and skipped through to the end. If something happened to rescue this tedious lazy effort that I didn’t catch, I apologize in advance. Of course, the plot was utterly predictable, an almost carbon copy of every other Royal/Commoner template, with none of the fish out of water humor or any charm or good acting, or chemistry on the part of the principals to lift it into even 5 star+ territory. The young lady was pretty, but did nothing to draw the audience in or earn some investment in her. The script called for her to be a beloved part of her small town, but why? Her father said she never wanted anything but to make the world a better place, but we see no evidence of it. She was offered a 3 year job to plan and execute some kind of project that would benefit disadvantaged youth in New York, but seemingly is going to skip that to get married to her prince-ling. If I missed something there, I’m sorry. But even so, it would be impossible that she could stay in New York 3 years and do her job effectively while engaged to a European royal who has his duties to his country. Callum Alexander I am willing to give another chance to as this is literally his first acting credit. But in this one, his accent was so posh, it puts the Windsors to shame and was very distracting. The only bright spot was seeing Frank Hardy and Nancy Drew married, and the always reliable Charles Shaughnessy and Marina Sirkis. **3 stars out of 10**

Rating: 3 out of 10.

December 7, 2017