Hallmark Movies

She’s Making a List

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Coal-Worthy

It’s not that I didn’t understand this movie, it’s that so many little things did not make sense. And it was boring. I really had high hopes for it. The premise was cute and different, and it starred two of Hallmark’s biggest and most popular stars: Lacey Chabert and Andrew Walker. I would have thought they would have given them a better script. And I don’t know much about direction, I just know when it’s good, but things were said or implied that I didn’t see on screen. Then at the end, the plot just went off into La-La Land, and by that I don’t mean Los Angeles.

In a nut shell, here is the plot. The naughty or nice list is real. But Santa’s elves have long since been relieved of the huge responsibility of deciding whether the children of the world get presents or coal in their stockings. That  job has been sourced to Naughty or Nice, Inc. who uses modern technology and algorithms to separate the good, the bad, and the in-between. They have a huge fancy office building in a big city so the whole company and its mission is right out there on Front Street. The algorithm is adequate for most kids, but some kids are on the line between naughty and nice. And that is where the human inspectors come in. Isabel (Chabert) is one of the best and up for a big promotion. The inspectors are dispersed throughout the Santa Claus believing world assigned to take a closer in-person look at the actions and behavior of these fence-straddling kids. They are armed with a huge guide book detailing, among other things, the rules of engagement in order to make the final determination of coal or presents for Christmas. And no one knows the rule book better or follows it more closely than Isabel. Sounds cute, right? And I am the last person to turn my nose up at a little whimsey. The production values were good, there were some clever and cute lines and concepts, and Lacey Chabert and Andrew Walker are always competent at the very least. But it ended up in a muddle that could have been done much better. And easily fixed.

The first case has Isabel scrutinizing two little boys playing with a ball. One dares the other to throw the ball as high as he can and when he does it breaks a car tail light when it lands (somehow?). It was just an accident, but the one kid runs away and the other struggles with his conscience and then runs away. Lacey writes down “Mischief, Destruction, and Evasion”. Both the boys are judged “Naughty.” Case Closed. No presents. One of the messages this movie seems to be trying to convey is about digging deeper past the surface actions before putting a label on a child. Wouldn’t it have been more effective if the kid would have changed his mind and taken responsibility for his actions but after Lacey had left the scene of the crime? Or some other extenuating circumstances?

The next case is a boy named Teddy who is apparently planting seedlings (In December?) with his classmates. He sprays bleach on everyone’s plants except his own! Why? Were they in some kind of plant competition? Why would a kid be so malicious? It’s never made clear. Isabel’s assistant thinks that he meant to spray fertilizer, not bleach. But if that’s true, why would he not fertilize his own plant? Isobel later claims it was the only bottle of bleach in a row of fertilizer bottles so it must have been a mistake. Which is clearly what the viewer is supposed to believe. But the frame showing the bottles clearly shows that is not true.  And why would bottles of bleach be right next to fertilizer in a children’s garden in the first place? And he was definitely acting guilty and sneaky. Making mountains out of mole hills? Maybe. But it was disengaging and distracting for no reason. Nothing about it made sense. If he was spraying bleach on innocent little baby plants that is more than just mischievous, it is very concerning behavior. The lesson of not jumping to conclusions about kids’ motivations was confused and murky.

Those two cases are just prologue to Isabel’s main case of Charlie, played by Cadence Compton, who was fantastic. 11-year-old Charlie is an amateur magician we first see making a little kid’s $20 bill “disappear.” Basically she steals it from him. And the other older kids are so impressed that they start waving their money at her so she can make all their money “disappear” too. What the Hell. As far as we see, she never gives them their money back, and the kids never report her to the authorities either. Again what would have served the moral of the story was her giving their money back when judgmental Isabelle wasn’t looking. Or maybe using the money to buy a warm coat for a homeless kid, or do some other good deed. No, what she did was more than just “naughty.” She does other bad stuff too. But since Isabel is now dating her handsome father Jason (very much against the rules but she couldn’t care less all of a sudden), she starts looking to make an exception for Charlie and protect her from getting coal instead of presents. Because you see, Charlie’s mother died last year, so all is forgiven and excused. Plus she picks up litter. We find out later that when she did get coal for Christmas last year, her Dad secretly replaced it with real presents anyway. I’m like, “Maybe a little coal in her stocking would have done her a lot of good!” Isabel is breaking all the rules when it comes to this one girl because of her crush on Charlie’s father. It just wasn’t right or fair to all the other gray-area kids. Not that Charlie was actually that “gray area” in my opinion. But let’s just overlook Isabel’s shady behavior. I mean it’s Lacey Chabert after all.

I won’t go on with other examples of badly presented and mixed messages, but trust me. Isabel gets closer to Jason, finds out she has been doing more harm than good in putting kids on the “Naughty List,” and Charlie is miraculously transformed from bad girl to good girl at the drop of a hat. As it turns out, next year Isabelle’s boss (Steve Bacic) is going to take the whole human element out of labeling the children of the world and rely strictly on the algorithm. There will no longer be any excuses or human input. A now wiser Isabelle is so upset by this, that she quits and then decides to visit the top man, Santa Claus, along with Charlie and Jason to plead her case: No child is ever really naughty, they are just trying to find their way in the complicated adult world. No comment. But it all ends in a happy ending with a world free of coal, naughty lists, and children not being held accountable for their actions. I’m sorry, but this is a 5 in my book.

Rating: 5 out of 10.

The Snow Must Go On

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Snow Business

Wow. I didn’t quite know what to make of this one (at first). Now I hate when people use this word I am about to use to describe the first 15 minutes of this movie, but it perfectly describes how this movie started out: Surreal. We open in a very dark and empty bar/theater with a man singing his heart out in true Broadway fashion with a crown of horns on his head. Yes, if you haven’t seen this, you read it right. It turns out that he is supposed to be Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer who is apparently very upset about something and who at the same time looks very menacing and demonic. The very talented Corey Cott plays Isaiah, the star of this debacle. He was a once rising star on Broadway who has been struggling in his career. The opening scene is from the one man show he also wrote, produced, and directed, apparently out of desperation. He meets with 2 of the 3 audience members who turn out to be his sister and his niece who have come to New York to get him to come back to his home town for Christmas. He shoots them a tragic look, but after he is fired from his Christmas caroling job and after failing to get even an audition to the new Cindy Santos (big name and top producer) fronted musical, he accepts. CS is played by Stephanie Sy who is always great.

Now in a whiplash inducing turn, we get more Hallmarky with small town vibes, bright lighting and decor, and Isaiah’s wholesome family. But when he gets out of the car and volunteers to pick up his niece Aurora from highschool, he is wearing a very weird “sweat suit” as he calls it, that looks just like Christmas pajamas: Snow white with candy canes and sleighs and other Christmas paraphernalia all over it. And he actually gets out of the car dressed like this and into the high school to find his niece with no hesitation or embarrassment at all. Very few would even wear this getup to Wal-Mart after midnight. I don’t know, I just didn’t understand who Isaiah was supposed to be. Desperate and sad? or Goofy? Things settle down to one of the usual Hallmark plots after he gets the suit off. Curiously not mocked or molested by cruel highschoolers, he is wrangled by his niece (who is a real go-getter) and LilyAnne, a teacher (Heather Hemmens), into directing the school Christmas musical after the former director quits to marry a lumberjack she met online. *shrug emoji* (BTW, Hallmark, Where’s that movie?) The usual struggles with the theatre kids ensue. The young actors were all very talented singers. Especially one who played Miranda, a shy girl who happens to be the daughter of the great Cindy Santos. When he finds out who her mom is, he starts to put his all into getting the musical together (hoping to impress her), including writing the second act of the unfinished play. He simply tacks on his “off-off-off” Broadway musical about the most famous reindeer of all to the school’s play about “Randolph, The Christmas Elk.” After Lilyanne helps him with a re-write (This Stinks! It makes no sense!) including taking out the ungulate’s filibuster to Congress (ala Mr. Smith Goes to Washington?), things start to develop in the romance department. He casts Miranda, Cindy Santos’ daughter, as his understudy taking the starring Randolph role for himself in hopes that when Cindy sees him she will cast him in her big Broadway show. Yes, it came across as pathetic and contemptible as it sounds. So we have another facet to Isaiah’s personality: Jerk. Despite his shameless attempt to exploit his position and power for his own ends, a funny thing happens on the way to putting on a show. He starts to love it and is good at it. As it turns out, Cindy, being very busy and important, cannot be at the school on opening night, to her daughter’s and Isaiah’s disappointment. But she offers him an audition in New York after she sees him in the dress rehearsal, and you won’t believe this, but the audition is the same day as Opening Night of the play. Will Isaiah choose the kids and his responsibilities over his one chance to revive his career? Does Broadway stardom lie again in his future or will he choose small town life as a drama teacher with LilyAnne at his side? Will shy Miranda power through her stage fright and shine as his understudy? Will her mother see the light and become the parent her daughter needs?

Believe it or not, thanks to the set design, the make-up, the costuming, and the performances of the kids, I enjoyed what we were shown of “Randolph, the Christmas Elk.” I wish we had seen more. It was a huge success and it all came to a rousing finish, including the snow machine finally producing snow, Isaiah getting the girl, seeing the error of his ways, and apologizing to all and to all a good night. 7 stars.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

A Grand Ole Opry Christmas

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A Good Daddy

I didn’t expect this to be as good as it was. Often highly promoted efforts by Hallmark fall a little short for me. But if it gives me some chuckles, and this one did, I am prone to look benevolently on it no matter how much it otherwise annoys me. But if it makes me cry in a good way as well, it might qualify for an 8 thru 10 stars out of 10. And this one certainly did. The story was moving, but that can go for naught if the acting is not there. Thank goodness Nikki Deloach played the lead. She is easily one of the best actresses that works at Hallmark and I have praised her skills before. More than once. Honestly, she has never given a bad performance, even if the movie wasn’t so great. And Kristoffer Polaha, who plays her leading man, has his own acting style which can get a teeny bit old sometimes, but he is one of my favorites anyway. Just because I can see what he’s doing there, doesn’t mean I don’t like what I see. And they were great together. Add in some time travel, and I’m all in.

Gentry Wade (Deloach) is the daughter of a country music star who died when Gentry was just a teenager. She was once an aspiring songwriter, like her Dad, but things got in the way, and she now runs a popular bar and music venue which is a gathering place for Nashville country stars. The 100th anniversary of the Grand Ole Opry is coming up and the legendary duo of Jett Wade (Gentry’s late father) and Von Winters are going to be honored on stage during the annual Christmas show. Gentry has been invited to appear and is encouraged by her “Uncle Von” and her late father’s cousin Rita (the always welcome Sharon Lawrence), who was a talent coordinator for the Grand Ole Opry back in the day. Before his tragic and unexpected death Winters and Wade mysteriously broke up and Von Winters went on to great solo fame. But Gentry is hesitating because she feels she has not earned her right to appear on the hallowed stage as she gave up on her dream to be a songwriter (for what appears to be several reasons). Also in the mix is Mac, (Polaha) a lifelong friend who has returned from L.A. to pursue his successful talent manager career in Nashville.

While all of the talent is preparing for the big Christmas show, Gentry sits down on one of the onstage pews which are reserved for family and friends of performing artists, and she is sent 30 years back in time! It’s the day before the 1995 Christmas concert which was also Winters and Wade’s final appearance together. I’m skipping some steps but Mac follows soon after. Together they spend time with the young Rita. Gentry (who calls herself Jen, because if she had the same name as Jett’s teenage daughter, who is not around, thank heavens, that might be confusing) also gets to reconnect, as an adult, with her beloved father. Also his pal, Winters. At one point she finishes, with the help of her Dad, an old song she started to write as a young girl but never finished. Winters hears it and he is so encouraging, she knows that if she stays in 1995, she will be able to finally pursue her career as a songwriter. So will she stay in the past? Will it be with or without the love of her life, Mac? Why did the legendary duo break up that fateful Christmas in the first place? Will Gentry be re-inspired to try to write again in 2025 (If she goes back, that is)? The answer to at least one of these questions brought me to tears. And 3 subsequent scenes kept them flowing.

A few things added even more to the overall appeal of this movie. One was the mystery of whether two of the main characters remembered the 2025 Gentry as the 1995 Jen that was a brief part of their lives for one day. From a few things that were said or happened, I’m pretty sure one of them did, but am not so sure about the other. There is even a little hint (not in anything in the script, but in the actor’s subtle performance) that her father might have suspected something. It was a welcome wrinkle to the usual Hallmark where everything is spelled out. I like a little thought provoking mystery, sometimes. Of course, the appearances of real life Nashville stars were entertaining (even if the only one I recognized was Brad Paisley). You could really tell that everyone involved was committed to this production, and was glad to be a part of it. Finally, and I’m not sure I should mention this because I may be the only one, but I saw a great resemblance between the two actors who played the younger Winters and Wade to a Wyatt Earp-era Val Kilmer and present day Leonardo di Caprio. For me, it added a certain Je ne sais quoi. One thing I would have liked was to touch base with the poor Opry Guard who saw Gentry and Mac disappear into thin air. That might have long term consequences. 9 stars thanks to a little “Opry magic.”

Rating: 9 out of 10.

We Met in December

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Google is Your Friend

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Autumn Reeser and Niall Matter, both with very lengthy Hallmark resumes individually, are finally in a movie together. And it was a pairing I didn’t know we needed. They were a good match and in a movie where age and singleness was not an issue. Usually Hallmark ties itself up in knots trying to justify why the female and/or male leads are not already “with someone”. Most of the regular and popular Hallmark actors are either pushing 40 if not 50 years old. So if the plot doesn’t call for the death of a spouse they have to engineer a traumatic break up with a long term partner causing a paralyzing inability to trust again and move forward in the romance department. Or, they push these mature actors into stories obviously written for characters in their 20s or early 30s, just getting started in their personal and professional lives. In this one Autumn and Niall play two mature, successful, and well-adjusted professionals not hobbled emotionally by unhappy love stories. Why they are still single is not explained or even  addressed. So refreshing. If it was mentioned, I sure missed it.

The movie’s structure is also kind of unusual. We are thrust right into the action with Annie and Dave having a love at first sight moment while both in a city not their own due to a airline layover. No laborious info dump in the first 2 minutes. They learn that they both are on the way home to Chicago, and spend the day and half the night together cementing their relationship. They are secure in the fact that they have seats together on the flight home in the morning to get to know each other even more. But Dave misses the plane. And since during their time together they only talked about their individual Christmas traditions and warm and fuzzy things like that, rather than more pedestrian topics like phone numbers, last names, and employer’s names, they both are challenged with finding each other for the rest of the movie. The romance part is handled with flashbacks to their time together in this unnamed (to my knowledge) city. The Christmas part is seamlessly tied in during these flashbacks and as the couple, in the present, treks around Chicago visiting places they remember are a part of each other’s Christmas traditions hoping to run into them or someone who knows them. There are false leads, coincidences, and near misses for our viewing pleasure. But it is not until the end, needless to say, after they have each pretty much given up, at least temporarily,  that they are brought together in a church during midnight mass on Christmas Eve. I am always kind of a little moved when church scenes appear in Christmas movies. Home Alone being my favorite.

In addition to the romance, both Dave and Annie, thanks to their time together, get a handle on some personal challenges that have been holding them back. It is the first Christmas that Dave and his family are spending without his late father. He is so wrapped up in recreating all of his family’s Christmas traditions that he forgets that the important thing is to spend time with his family and to be in the moment, rather than controlling, organizing, and otherwise not dealing with his father’s death. Thanks to Dave, Annie is inspired to pursue her first love, fashion design, rather than just being on the outside looking in as the lawyer for a fashion design company. Did you know that Fashion Law is a real legal specialty? I didn’t. And according to Dave’s “Swifty Seek” search for “Annie, attorney, fashion, Chicago”, there are over 67,000 of them in Chicago alone! Of course that is absurd. As is Annie’s “Peep-Look” result of 48,302 financial advisors named Dave in Chicago. Try Google next time, guys. At least Dave’s lack of success with The World Wide Web is explained by Annie’s real name being “Mary Anne”, not Ann-something. But if they found each other right away, there wouldn’t be a movie. And that would be a shame, because this was a worthy, if low-key, addition to Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas slate.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

Melt my Heart this Christmas

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Unpopular Opinion Alert!

Once again, in my view, Hallmark’s Sunday Christmas movie unexpectedly outshone its big Saturday premiere movie. Yes, yes,  I know. The football one got a lot of notice and publicity, high ratings and mostly good reviews, and this one seemed like it was meant to be kind of a throwaway. It was not a Hallmark production but an often second-rate “in association with” one. The plot and the tropes had an old school throwback feel, with our struggling heroine being bullied and abused by an evil female boss, and our hero having a few run-ins with a stick-in-the-mud controlling grandfather. Why they didn’t make him his father, which would have been more age appropriate, I do not know.

 Holly (Laura Vandervoort) is an aspiring glass blower who runs into Jack (Stephen Huszar) when she is trying to sneak into his  prestigious family Christmas craftsman festival. They seem to have some kind of unspecified history because there is definitely some snarky animosity between them. The festival has been struggling a bit and if this one is not a huge success, “Pops” is going to sell the land and close it down. Sound familiar? Honestly this plot summary almost writes itself.  Luckily they have secured the participation of Bianca Bonhomme who is a great and famous glassblowing artiste. She is the headliner and will presumably be a big draw and guarantee the festival’s success and the continuation of their legacy. While Jack is throwing Holly out of the festival, they meet Bianca stomping past them saying she is leaving because her assistant quit and she cannot participate without an assistant. Holly, who idolizes Bianca, volunteers herself as a substitute in return for Jack letting her enter the show as an “emerging artist” and agreeing to give her a recommendation to an Artist’s Residency. The character of Bianca was a real hoot. She was AWFUL:  A real diva who is so demanding, capricious, and snotty that it was downright delicious. I love a good villain you love to hate.  But wait. Was that a little vulnerability we see beneath that Miranda Priestlyesque surface? We soon learn that she has turned away from her signature colorful style because a critic gave her a bad review calling her pieces “loud” and accusing her of using color to mask a subpar technique. She was devastated and as a result the pieces she is exhibiting at the fair are clear glass, boring, and, worst of all, not selling. And of course the critic who trashed her work is at the festival and is as anxious to interview her as Bianca is anxious to avoid him. Meanwhile Holly’s beautiful and colorful ornaments are selling like hotcakes under a phony name. Don’t look now but the unknown is the star of the show. So that’s the basic set up. 

I enjoyed Holly’s unexpected success and anticipated the big reveal of her true identity as well as Bianca’s inevitable crash and burn. At the same time, I was kind of feeling sorry for her, and hoping Holly could help her. The (eventual) Redemption of Ms. Meanyhead was signaled loud and clear and I was looking forward to that as well. And sure enough, the reveal and the crash and burn was epic indeed but was quickly followed by the two glassblowers having a heart to heart and making up. Holly helps Bianca see the light and return to her  bold signature style that was her true strength. The romance with Jack took second place to the dynamic between the two women and the glass blowing. That is not usually a good thing in a Hallmark, but I was fine with it because Jack was kind of a dim bulb and not only did not come to Holly’s defense when it was called for but piled on and started yelling at her himself. Not good. Especially since Holly almost singlehandedly saved the whole fair. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for heroes to act heroic and have more brains than a rutabaga.

In addition to the perfectly predictable yet comfortingly familiar plot, the whole experience was elevated by Laura Vandervort who played Holly and the Glassblowing storyline. Ms Vandervoort has always been a favorite. Jennifer Wigmore conveyed the insecurity and fear beneath Bianca’s hard exterior and added some humor and a lot of drama too. She gave depth to what could have been a cardboard character. The glass blowing was very interesting, seemed authentic to me, and the pieces were beautiful. **7 1/2 stars**

Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

Holiday Touchdown: A Bills Love Story

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For Bills and/or Buffalo Fans Only

Yeah. I didn’t like the first Holiday Touchdown about the Kansas City Chiefs either. From what I remember of that one though (I didn’t review it) this was marginally better. The two leads, Holland Roden and Matthew Daddario, were fresh faces and new to Hallmark. Or so I thought. It turns out the actress has actually been in several Hallmark productions and in the one I saw her in, I characterized her as “fine” and very pretty. So she was OK but didn’t exactly blow me away. And that is how I would describe the male lead in this one. He has a good resume and his sister Alexandra is very well known, but I found the two actors’ partnership pretty stiff in this one.

Gabe and Morgan have been besties their whole lives but Gabe has been secretly in love with her all that time while Morgan is clueless about his feelings and her own. Even though everyone they know is aware and complete strangers immediately see that he is head over heels smitten with her. This was a kind of cute running joke. Besides being clueless she is also the nicest doctor in the world. She organizes the decorating committee and comes in on her day off to give a pep talk to a little girl who has to have a shot but who is afraid of needles. Gabe is Vice President of Building the New Bills’ Stadium. Gabe is next door neighbors with Morgan’s very large and very confusing family (Tracy Pollan, who plays Morgan’s mother looks like her sister, for one thing.) Patty Murin, who I like, plays her real sister. Also in there is Uncle Tommy, played by Joe Pantoliano and Steve Shirripa is in there somewhere as well. If there were any jokes about the Bills’ fanbase being called “The Bills Mafia” and the two actors who both starred in The Sopranos, I missed them. Luckily the plot is as simple and straightforward as the family and neighbor situation is hard to unravel. Needless to say the whole kit and kaboodle are all rabid Bills fans.

Morgan and Gabe discover that Uncle Tommy has been getting mysterious small Christmas gifts for over 50 years ever since he returned from “Nam.”  He has no idea who sends them but he has sentimentally kept them all. The same person who sends the gifts is the same person who kept his widowed mother and two(?) sisters afloat with anonymous cash and groceries after he, the wage earner, was drafted. The potential couple decides that they will go on a quest to find the gift giver as a Christmas present to him. So, with Buffalo as the background, they go around following the clues, hitting many famous Buffalo institutions and sights, meeting many past and present Buffalo Bills, and showcasing much Buffalo Bills merch in the process. 

Somewhere in the middle of all of this Morgan finds out that Uncle Tommy has remained unmarried his whole life because he has been carrying a torch for “Mia” a girl who moved away from town while he was overseas. He made a half hearted attempt to find her but was unsuccessful. It must have been really half hearted because her (spoiler alert) sister still lives at their original address, as we find out. So Morgan and Gabe switch from trying to find the gift giver and anonymous benefactor to trying to find Mia. Luckily for the secondary love story (spoiler alert) they turn out to be the same person! Also unmarried, (not even an ex or dead husband!) she has always been in love with Uncle Tommy from afar, but was too afraid to contact him for fear he wouldn’t love her back. Hold up. Just think about that for a minute. For over 50 years she couldn’t even manage an “accidental” “fancy running into you” and see what happens? She calls it “self protection”, I call it lack of gumption. They both stayed single but “It wasn’t meant to be.” My eyes rolled so hard one of my optic nerves is still not back to normal. Second chance romances after decades have past are a common trope in books and movies. But there is always a good reason for it: A giant misunderstanding, one thought the other was dead, marriage of one or the other, etc. But a simple lack of agency? I can’t even. Inspired by Mia’s craptacular feebleness and her resulting blighted life, Gabe finally confesses his love for Morgan. Morgan doesn’t exactly know where to put this information, but (spoiler alert) don’t worry she figures it out by the end of the movie. Both love stories are resolved on the turf of Highmark Stadium. One during half time (don’t ask) and one at a pick up game with real life Bills’ players. I was a little baffled and disappointed as to why, after seeking the family benefactor/lost love the whole movie the big reveal to Uncle Tommy happened off-camera. Strange. This actually could have been a pretty decent movie. At least it kept my interest until it collapsed at the end.

Besides the football players there were some cute cameos (Andrew Walker as a bartender, and Hunter King and the ubiquitous Tyler Hynes the stars of last years tribute to the Chiefs). And Santa Claus was the same one as in last year’s Holiday Touchdown. Also Luke Russert, son of the late beloved journalist extraordinaire and Bills fan, Tim “Go Bills!” Russert (sniffle). Despite a stellar season, The Chiefs lost the Super Bowl last year and The Bills have been unexpectedly struggling a bit so far this year. I wonder what team Hallmark will settle on for next year’s Holiday Touchdown movie. The line is not forming.

Rating: 5.5 out of 10.

Three Wisest Men

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“Nothing like a trilogy to make people happy.”

It is the Christmas after the last movie and two of the three brothers have not shown much of the hoped for growth and wisdom which we are promised by the end of the second film. But there is some progress! 

The “worst” brother, Taylor (Tyler Hynes), has flourished in his career and is being offered a partnership in a successful tech company in Silicon Valley. But we know by his perpetually pained expression (a Tyler Hynes trademark) while the head honcho is offering him the moon and stars to come on board, that he still has “issues”. Taking the fabulous opportunity would involve moving out of state and out of his mother’s (huge and luxurious) basement.  But there is hope. He is still with new girlfriend Caroline, “the love of his life,” who was such a bright spot and force for good in the second movie. The actress, Erin Kurpluk’s, star has not dimmed in this one.

Stephan (Paul Campbell) and Susie are planning their wedding, but he still lives in his Mom’s guest house in her backyard. This is a magic guest house. It morphs from small and sort of modest to ginormous and luxurious from one scene to another. Unless there are two “guesthouses” in her backyard. This kind of lack of attention to detail that Hallmark is famous for does not have any affect on plot or character but it is very distracting. As is the borderline weird product placement. Stephan’s wedding plans are not going well thanks to his skittish behavior and shilly-shallying over decisions. Also his prospective father-in-law is visiting for Christmas and they do not get along.

 Luke (Andrew Walker), the third brother is just fine, if a little tense, being the fire chief, the father to Thomas, the titular child of the first 2 movies, and husband to his pregnant-with-twins wife. He’s nervous about his impending fatherhood, which a very ranty and unpleasant birth coach in the first scene did not help. She needed to go back to birth-coaching school.

To get the ball rolling, the boys learn their mother Barbara a.k.a. “Gigi” (Margaret Colin) is selling her huge house which not only throws Stephan and Taylor’s living arrangements into disarray but spurs the boys to make this Christmas, their last in the childhood home, “The Best Christmas Ever.” Thus, the lion’s share of the time remaining is devoted to a rather random string of over the top hijinks, shenanigans, and frenzied activity/disasters which added nothing to the actual story (was there one?) and provided all too few chuckles, unfortunately. 

However. There were a few high spots that kept the movie in watchable territory. The well-written dialogue (by Campbell and Sustad) flows smoothly thanks to the rapport of the actors playing the three brothers. Jerry, the talking cockatiel, was pretty funny, and I liked the callbacks to the previous two movies: Mr. B of the Christmas Pageant, Mark Laclark, and Kimberley Sustad’s cameo as the wry local doctor, for 3. Even Fiona (Ali Liebert, yay), Taylor’s girlfriend in the first movie, pops up in a pivotal role. At first I thought they had forgotten about Roy, Gigi’s new boyfriend in the second movie, but his mysterious absence is finally mentioned (I may have missed something) and he returns in a climactic scene. I liked Roy. There is a heartwarming scene or two where Taylor acknowledges his fear of change, and Stephan finally makes it all better with Susie. Best of all, her rude Dad gets told off by a disgusted Gigi very satisfactorily and he is suitably abashed and apologizes. At the end, the trilogy is wrapped up with the two problematic brothers making mature decisions about their future, and Luke welcoming twin daughters to the fold. This ended up being a good wrap up of the trilogy. As Dr. Kimberley Sustad says, “3 is the magic number.” And enough is enough.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

Christmas Above the Clouds

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God Bless Us, Everyone

It’s Countdown to Christmas and time for another remake of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. This makes the third fantasy movie this year for Hallmark and half of its offerings so far. And that’s great, if, like me, you enjoy a little fantasy with your Christmas Romances. But you can stop now, Hallmark. This modern adaptation of the Christmas classic was well done. Ella Neezer is the worst sort of scrooge as the C.E.O. of a successful travel agency (Great Expectations Travel). It is in a huge high rise in New York City with a huge staff, so apparently that business model is not as defunct as I thought it was. Her latest crime against humanity is turning down a marketing campaign that highlights couples in love. “Why can’t we see a nice high powered single woman having the vacation of her life without anyone else around?”. This means that her staff has to work through Christmas on a new one, while she flies first class to Australia on a business trip (turning down, once again, her loving sister’s invitation to spend Christmas with her family in Utah.) Spending Christmas on an airplane suits her just fine as she has nothing but contempt for the holiday. But she is dragging along her personal assistant, Bobbi Cratchet (Emily Tennant), stuffed in coach, poor kid. Bobbi not only will not be able to spend Christmas with her loving family, but with all of the last minute duties Ella gives her, will not even have time to say goodbye to her little son, Tim, who struggles with severe asthma.

Once on the flight, she is barely keeping it together as the flight turns out to be a special Christmas edition full of merry holiday making with a relentlessly cheerful (and singing!) flight staff. All Ella wants is to be left alone peacefully wallowing in her solitude. But to her dismay, she finds herself seated next to her ex-fiancé, Jake (Tyler Hynes). 

Let’s skip to the ghosts. The first one, of course, is Christmas Past, the perkiest flight attendant ever played by Faith Wright, who is adorable. We get a glimpse of Ella and her sister Frances’s neglected childhood, her happy college days with Jake, and how they broke up over her workaholism on Christmas 6 years ago. She learns the reason why Bobbi was late for work one morning which caused Ella to almost fire her. She was in the emergency room all night with her son. Bobbie is struggling financially due to the company’s less than generous health plan. Ella starts to show a bit of humanity and remorse. But just a bit.

The Ghost of Christmas Present shows Ella what her employees and her family really think of her. Her employees hate her and conspire behind her back. Although her sister still loves her, the rest of the family is glad she did not join them for Christmas. Even the kindest of the people she comes in contact with only pity her. She sees that Jake, for some mysterious reason, is still hung up on her and doesn’t date. Up to this point, she is only partially seeing the error of her ways. She is still complaining and tries to defend herself (Why didn’t Bobbi tell me her little boy was so sick? Why did she “agree to skip Christmas”?) Christmas Present is like “Oh really?!” and sets her straight.  Enter Christmas Yet to Come. This ghost is played by a big black dude dressed in black complete with sunglasses. Unlike peppy and chatty Past and Present, he is very scary and does not say a word. It is Christmas a year from now and she finds out that she is dead! How? How did she die? We are not told but inquiring minds want to know. Jake is now a lonely librarian “like Donna Reed?!” And also poor little Tim is dead too! Jeez, Hallmark. Needless to say, Ella, threatened with death, finally sees the light, and makes up for her bad behavior.

I have to say that Erin Krakow did a good job in this one. She used to be more of a miss than a hit with me, but in the last couple of years, she has won me over. I am no longer on edge when I see her cast as the leading lady. That cannot be said about Tyler Hynds. He seems to have found a niche of playing tortured weak characters who have a lot of work to do on themselves, ideally in therapy. But I am happy to report that he played a normal good guy in this one and I liked him. The script provided nice dashes of humor both during the ghostly visitations and between them, when she was trying to process what was happening to her and interacting with Jake. On a final note, I have to say that I hated the roomy white athleisure lounge wear Erin wore throughout almost the whole movie. I’m sure it was comfy, but it did nothing for her at all. Despite that outfit however, on the Christmas Carol remake scale, this was a “God Bless Us Every One.”

Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

A Newport Christmas

/ Rebekahrox / 4 Comments
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Dimensional Fractures Cannot Be Tolerated.

Strange. For the second time this year, Hallmark, in a way, buried the lead on two weekend Christmas movies. The one premiering Saturday night was OK, but nothing special, but the one on Sunday Night, which I assume would have less viewership, was really great.

A Newport Christmas was a time travel romance, one of my favorite plots, responsible for some of my favorite Hallmark movies like Next Stop, Christmas, Love Strikes Twice, and last year’s A ‘90s Christmas. This, unfortunately, was not quite up to those standards, because of a couple of things, but it was right up there in the conversation. The plot, the concept and the writing were outstanding. It also included some unique wrinkles that I was not expecting. As for the couple of things, nothing against Wes Brown, but he just didn’t seem like a good match for the time traveling Ginna Claire Mason. I thought their chemistry seemed off. Also, GCM’s acting was a little over done.

Ella (Mason)  is a wealthy resident of Newport, Rhode Island in December of 1905. She is somewhat of an independent dynamo and is engaged in numerous charitable activities. She is not interested in marriage but wants to use her dowry to start a charity to help the less fortunate.  While preparing for her father’s inaugural Christmas Ball, her father calls her in to his study and informs her that he has arranged a marriage for her with a man called Everette Thornton whom she has never even met. She is not happy and goes out on her boat alone to clear her head. She sees a comet while wishing for a different life and to fall in love one day. Suddenly, out of nowhere, in the boat with her is Nick, played by Wes Brown. He was on a rescue mission for a missing boat and is as shocked as she is to find a stranger in the boat. Ella has jumped forward 120 years to 2025, which she is forced to admit pretty quickly once they land back in Newport and she gets a load of all the modern stuff. Her former home has been turned into a museum, The Grafton House. Nick is the local historian there and she also meets Christine, the museum director, and Francis, her assistant (secondary romance!). Nick, supported by Christine and Francis, shows Ella around and introduces her to the 21st century. She loves it. Paper cups! Pants! Lady Bosses! Lattes! Computers! Inflatable Snowmen! She finds out that she became a prominent historical figure and an important philanthropist, helping many many people through the years. But this means that she must go back to that influential life. It is not an option, despite the fact that she and Nick have fallen in love.

In addition to the usual “fish out of water” amusing situations and quips, there were many interesting  complexities to Ella’s predicament.  As Ella learns more about her life (it turns out she was happily married to an ex-naval officer named Rex Grafton who supposedly rescued her at sea after her “disappearance”. But it is very mysterious that they can’t find a picture of him anywhere. They figure out that The 1905 “Christmas Comet” that seemingly is responsible for her time travel is reappearing on Christmas Eve in a matter of days and is her best chance of getting back to the life she was meant to lead. It soon becomes apparent that the longer Ella stays in the future and the more she learns about herself and history, the closer she comes to creating a “dimensional fracture” which is symbolized by her portrait disappearing and a biography of her turning into blank pages. One day, Ella spots an old coast guard buddy of Nick’s named Adam and she knows him from somewhere! How can that be? Ella remembers that Adam sold her her boat over 120 years ago. He is a time traveler too, but got here 20 years earlier!  And that is all I will say about that, but the whole situation actually had me pretty mystified and marginally concerned as to how this was all going to resolve itself into a happy ending for Nick and Ella. To further complicate matters, I liked Adam better than Nick. 

This movie was entertaining and sure kept my interest. There were some anachronisms where they got history wrong. Christmas lights were actually pretty common in 1905 as was the QWERTY keyboard. The arranged marriage between two people who had never met? Nope. Not in America, anyway. Ella’s hairstyle was all wrong. And once again, Hallmark missed an opportunity for a little fun social commentary by having Ella ignore the fact that Christine is black. It’s the usual stuff that just has to be ignored or will drive you crazy.  Other than those quibbles it was well thought out and I liked it. I really did.

Rating: 8 out of 10.


Christmas on Duty

/ Rebekahrox / 4 Comments
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Oorah!

First of all, I don’t have a military bone in my body, so I am not going to comment on how authentically or inauthentically military culture, protocol, uniforms, etc., etc. were depicted in this movie. But kudos to Janel Parish for being outfitted in bulky military camouflage throughout, except when she was wearing an elf costume, instead of the usual array of red and green coats and cute winter hats our heroines are usually garbed in. She really took one for the team because that cap was really ugly. The one thing I did learn about the military was how much our soldiers love the insurance company, USAA. Honestly, I was expecting Rob Gronkowski to pop up at any minute. Oh wait, they sponsored this movie. I get it.

 We first meet Blair and Josh when they are in basic training at Quantico. They are rivals but also kinda like-like each other. Blair is a star student and Josh is not far behind, but when the rankings come out, Blair is first in her class and asks for the very assignment that Josh has made no secret of hoping for. She had told him she was going after something else but changed her mind at the last minute without telling him. Naturally, Josh was quite put out by this dirty trick  oversight. It ends their friendship and they go their separate ways. Cut to the present day, 6 years later. It is Christmas time and Blair is shown to be very competent and respected in her position on the Marine base as some kind of trainer or instructor. We learn the commanding officer of the base is retiring and  Blair is up for a company commander position. At the Christmas/retirement party her old enemy Josh is introduced as a newly promoted company commander, one of the coveted slots Blair had hoped to get. Blair is vexed. Karma’s a bitch, girl. Josh and Blair get into a big loud fight and knock a big fancy cake all over a visiting Colonel and his wife. Apparently, this kind of thing is frowned upon, and Blair and Josh are reprimanded and relegated to spend Christmas Eve and Day working together at the base instead of at home with their families. Speaking of families. Blair and Josh are both products of longstanding military traditions. Their fathers are retired and have been nursing a grudge against each other for years and years. The sins of the fathers are visited on the children and all that.  Josh’s dad is very strict, scary, and demanding and it was to please him that Josh wanted the assignment that Blair ended up getting 6 years ago. Blair’s dad is nicer, but was always very discipline- oriented, until his wife, Blair’s mother, recently died. Now he is trying to lighten up and take her place as far as Christmas cheer and more traditional holiday fun is concerned. Josh finds out some bad news from his sister, who bears an unsettling resemblance to Blair. (This  led to a bit of confusion on my part at one point-Why is Josh dancing at the party with Blair when they are so hostile?!) It turns out that his little nephew, along with all the other military children in the neighborhood, are not going to get their Christmas presents on time because of a snowstorm shutting down all deliveries. Josh and Blair propose to the retiring Colonel, their commanding officer, that since they have access to a military vehicle, that they go south to where the toys are and the snowstorm isn’t, and bring back Santa’s bounty for all of the kids. He says no way and that is that. Ha ha, I jest. Of course he agrees, especially since he has a little granddaughter whose heart is set on a pink skateboard.  And how else are we going to have all the high jinks, teachable moments, and the enemies to lovers romance that Hallmark is famous for?

This was an OK effort by Hallmark. Although the overall arc of the romance and plot was predictable as usual (the feuding fathers bury the hatchet in the end and Josh’s father learns not to be a d*ck) the actual activities were a little different (no festival, institution saving, or climactic holiday ball!), adding a little freshness to the 88 minutes or so. The opening credits were really cute. Janel Parish and newcomer Parker Young were fine and made a good couple. Also, thanks to Josh, all professional and personal misunderstandings are cleared up and Blair is recommended for a Company Commander. It’s all Happy Families on the personal side, and Janel finally gets to ditch the camos.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.