A Castle of Our Own

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Castles in the Sand

After last week’s super special movie offering, we conclude Hallmark’s Summer Nights line up with a shrug, and a “not bad, actually.” The most notable thing about it was the return of Brennan Elliot as the co-lead in a Hallmark premiere. As a Hallmark mainstay and an old favorite of mine, he has been missed. Playing opposite him is a beautiful and age-appropriate Erica Cerra, who has only been in one Hallmark prior to this one. She plays Marley, the single mother of a teenager who is also a very talented and in-demand architect. After her divorce from Lily’s father she left their own firm, gave up her first love of designing homes, and started working for another firm designing commercial real estate i.e. shopping malls. Although this kind of work is unfulfilling, she has become a victim of her own success and popularity. The owner of the firm, Joan, seemingly cannot get along without her. She is in constant demand and is overworked and tied to her cell phone, always at Joan’s beck and call. Her personal life is non-existent and has exacted a toll on her relationship with her teenage daughter, Lily. In an early scene, she asks Lily how her Chemistry exam went and instead of listening to her answer, she calls the IT department. The whole mess is epitomized by a mother-daughter trip to Paris which never happens because work always gets in the way. Marley tries to explain to Lily that she has to work so hard in order to afford to go to Paris which is why they never go to Paris. Not surprisingly, Lily, no dummy, doesn’t buy it. Thank goodness she does not have an overbearing mother or best friend constantly badgering her to “get out there” and find herself a new man in her spare time. When her ex-husband is prevented from taking Lily on a promised beach vacation due to his own work demands, Marley, finally determined to re-establish connection with her daughter, takes his place. And off to Cannon Cove they go for “Sand Fest”, which features a big sand castle building competition.  But the bad news is she also takes along her laptop and phone so she can work on her current project for the needy Joan. It never ceases to amaze me when Hallmark heroines are powerful in the workplace because they are so irreplaceable, but never put their foot down.

Enter Brennan Elliot as Adam. He is a successful general contractor and the owner of the house next door to where Lily and Marley are staying in Cannon Cove. Marley mistakes him for the plumber she called to fix a faucet and is amazed when his phone keeps beeping with text messages but he doesn’t feel obliged to answer it or even look at them. She almost blows a gasket right there in the kitchen! Adam is not only there to be Marley’s love interest but also to teach her that sacrificing her personal life and her relationship with her daughter for work is a choice, not an imperative. She is an apt pupil, leaving Joan unanswered and dangling throughout the whole movie. But we soon learn that Adam has his own problems. He was dumped by his ex, and he has a problem letting their life together go.  This is symbolized by their old house, which he is constantly updating and working on instead of selling it and moving forward from his past dreams. Adam has a niece who is Lily’s age, and along with his sister, they form a temporary found family with Adam and Marley quickly (very quickly) falling into a romantic relationship. They enter the sand castle building contest as a team of 4, which serves as one of the means by which they will learn their necessary life lessons. One of which, needless to say, is the ever-popular Work/Life Balance.

Besides the lack of a badgering mother, there are several things I liked about this movie. The inside look at sand castle building added some interest. One of the competitors was an old rival of Adam’s which added some tension. I liked the final outcome of the contest. I liked that although Marley was incommunicado with Joan, she still completed her project successfully and on time. Yay for professional responsibility and loyalty. I was quite amused when poor Joan calls Marley’s ex-husband as her emergency contact (next-of-kin?) when she can’t get her on the phone. The ex-husband, played by occasional Hallmark actor, David James Lewis (formerly known as David Lewis, lol) was a bright spot. He was not only not a threat, but was a good guy and instrumental in smoothing over the roadblocks to Marley escaping from Joan’s clutches and getting back to her first love, designing homes not strip malls. He also rendered Marley and Lily’s trip to Paris an upcoming reality, not just a dream. He was also instrumental in getting Adam to move to Seattle so he and Marley could continue their promising romance. Come to think of it, ol’ ex-husband Dan was quite the hero and a deus ex machina par excellence. That new wife of his is a lucky woman. Unexplained is how the newly liberated Marley is going to find the time to start and run her own architectural firm and still be an involved mother. 7 stars.

And we bid good-bye to “Summer Nights.” Hello “Christmas in July!”

Rating: 7 out of 10.

Jingle Bell Run

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Candy Canes and Cruciverbalism for the Win.

Besides starring two of their most popular and high profile leads in this “fun-type” Hallmark, This one did not have a lot to offer other than a tepid romance and high jinks. And I am not a fan of high jinks.

Avery, played by vivacious Ashley Williams is an elementary school teacher whose life, in her sister’s opinion, is too boring. Also, I think there is some mention of a recent romantic heartbreak situation. Or I could be mixing this one up with every other Hallmark ever made. Since she and the rest of her family are going away for Christmas, she has signed Avery up for “The Great Holiday Dash,” a national TV show where the chosen contestants are paired off and compete with the other couples in a series of games in cities across the country. The last couple standing wins a million dollars each. Avery is paired off with hunky Wes, a recently retired Hockey Player played by Andrew Walker. She being the brains and he being the brawn. We know he’s not the brains because he tries to argue 2 of the other contestants out of their airplane seats E and F on the way to Boston, their first location, because his and Avery’s tickets says C and D. And, according to Wes, Cs and Ds look like Es and Fs. At first I thought this might be a learning disability situation which might have been interesting. But No.

I will say that the script had some cute lines and humorous banter in the beginning while the two were at odds. But as they start to be a team and fall in love, it starts to get boring and repetitive. They get to know the hopes and dreams, and in one case, the tragic past, of the individuals on 2 of the other teams, which is how we know which of the 8 or so teams will be the final ones to be eliminated. As for Wes and Avery, we find out that Wes is vaguely estranged from his brother and his family, and Avery was a shy kid whose teacher let her spend her recesses in the library reading books. And now she loves being a school teacher where she too can help shy bookworms avoid recess.

Unfortunately, once again this year, Hallmark has shoehorned two of their most beloved and seasoned stars into scripts that are not age appropriate. I really thought they had gotten away from that, but it seems like sometimes they just can’t resist. It’s not that people in their mid forties couldn’t do well in such a race, but the games once they got to their destinations seemed too silly and a few, downright awkward. Maybe I’m just a stick in the mud. How do I know this script was meant for a more youthful cast? 45 year old Andrew Walker’s character retired last year and is struggling to find what he wants to do with the rest of his life. When Avery asks him why he retired, he tells her that when a Hockey player gets to age 30, it starts to take a toll on his body. So probably 31 or 32, scriptwise? A case could possibly be made for 35 at the oldest. It was kind of weird, because he could have said 37 or 38 instead of 30. And as attractive as Ashley Williams usually is, she is no 35 year old.

I was very disappointed that the last minute bust up happened due to the ol’ overheard conversation where the eavesdropper leaves before the whole story comes out trope. That dropped it a whole star. It had to do with some skullduggery on the part of the producer to increase viewership. Wes was complicit, until he wasn’t. No points for guessing what the scheme this entailed. I won’t say which couple wins the 2 million dollars, but be assured that no couple leaves devastated and with their dreams crushed.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Retreat to You

Off the Beaten Path

This was a genuinely funny romantic comedy and one that I was happy to see had Hallmark moving even further afield from the list of Family-friendly “No-Nos”. Now that they have ventured into the once forbidden territory of gay and interracial romance, this movie tests the waters of normalizing premarital sex and swearing. Or at least a suggestion that premarital sex might be within the realms of possibility for two consenting adults and kind of very mild swearing. Baby steps.

Rachel, likably played by Meghan Heffern, has duped Abby, our heroine, into joining her at a “Lifestyle Wellness Retreat”. Early on, we learn quite a bit about Abby, played by Emilie Ullerup. She is a Public Defender, is very stressed out, and likes to argue. She is a “glass half-empty” type of person, cynical and closed off. But she is quick-witted and loves candy, her best friend Rachel, and that’s about it. The movie starts off with a lot of genuinely funny banter, which continues throughout.

While at the “Wellness Retreat” (for God’s sake do not call it a “Camp”) they meet two of the other campers, a bickering older married couple, the very funny director of the camp, and the very cute head Chef, whom immediately catches Rachel’s eye and vice versa. This secondary couple is Hallmark’s nod to interracial romance as he is Chinese. No Gay couples or black people this time. Or actually, there might be a gay couple but they are deep background. Down-to-earth Abby is not a joiner, nor a fan of nature, or places that call meals “nourishment gatherings.” And, to seal the deal on her bad attitude, Abby meets Sean, her former childhood best friend from whom she has been estranged for 17 years. She tells Rachel that he is a monster who abandoned her at a bus stop as they were getting ready to leave on a long-planned cross-country hiking trip. True to form, Abby has never been in contact with him since, never caring to find out why he did that. Interestingly, the viewer learns bit by bit that Abby is not really telling Rachel (or us) the full story. While finally agreeing to “talk” about what happened 17 years ago, the two hike to an isolated scenic lookout. It is revealed that Sean was actually in love with Abby but didn’t have the guts to tell her. Abby tells him she was in love with him too. They have a pretty hot kiss and fade to black. When we come back to the couple they are lying on a blanket together. Now I’m not saying they did the deed or anything, but it is pretty obvious that they didn’t stop at that one kiss. This is pretty groundbreaking for Hallmark as kisses are usually only interrupted almost kisses, and the actual touching of lips is restricted to the last 30 seconds of the movie. On the way back to camp, oops, the “retreat”, they get hopelessly lost in the wilderness for two days and and two nights. Abby manages to remain in full makeup during their ordeal including falling face first into a mud puddle, and a lot more about their lives, feelings, and that fateful day is gradually revealed to each other and to the viewer. We learn that Abby’s parents were terrible which explains the walls she puts up, and the recent death of Sean’s beloved mother. There is also some pretty good comedy. In one scene, Sean doesn’t want to help Abby catch a fish to eat because he is a vegetarian and he thinks he couldn’t eat “anything with a face.” Abby yells, “Well, I’ll give you the butt!” Abby leaves a trail of candy wrappers to guide possible rescuers only to find that Sean has been picking them up, then to top it off, gets a lecture on “littering”. Abby pulls out candy she has been hiding in her clothes, and Sean quips that she looks like a “sarcastic pinata.”

Meanwhile, Rachel has discovered that Abby didn’t sleep in her bed that night, and is very worried. When Hot Chef suggests that maybe Sean and Abby are together, they go knocking on Sean’s door, looking for them. Yes, the possibility that they might have spent the night together crosses their minds. Groundbreaking, I tell you!!! When Rachel tries to rally the troops into a rescue party, it sets off an argument between the Bickersons, and the wife ends up yelling back at her husband, “Screw the class!!” This counts as swearing in Hallmarkland. No, it’s not the F word, but still! I can guarantee you would not hear such a thing on the Great American Family channel because that would be smutty.

Towards the end, Abby shuts down Sean when he wants to explore continuing the relationship. Sean leaves the retreat without saying goodbye, in a history repeats itself scene. Rachel talks some sense into Abby and Abby has an emotional breakthrough. Sean has some sense talked into him by a teenage gas station attendant in a very cute scene, and the Happy Ending is not far behind.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

A Christmas Detour

On the Road Again

A high-strung writer gets hooked up with an irreverent laid-back fellow and a seemingly happily married couple on the way to visit their families on Christmas. They are thrown together when a snowstorm cancels their flight and they decide to share an automobile to get to their destinations. The Candace Cameron character is traveling to the Hamptons to meet her fiancée’s family for the first time. It is a road movie in which romance blossoms, true character is revealed, and secrets are uncovered. The fiancé and his parents are deliciously evil, Cameron-Bure, while always reliable, is quite likable and funny, and the married couple and the hero are well-played, interesting, and nice to look at.

What I really want to address, and this movie is a perfect example, is Hallmark’s penchant for casting 40-year-olds in the roles obviously written for 20 or early thirty-year-olds. Aren’t there any promising young actors and actresses out there?. I am tired of seeing the same faces over and over. It is particularly absurd in this one. The older experienced couple who have a 20-year relationship and a daughter old enough to have a beautiful old home, are played by actors who are the same age, if not younger, than the couple they are meant to be mentoring! **8 out of 10 stars**

Rating: 8 out of 10.

December 1, 2015