Nearlyweds

Stupid and Maddening

This Hallmark movie had no characters worth rooting for. All 3 of the husbands were class “A” stupid jerks. All of their better halves could have done so much better considering their beauty, overall niceness, and successful careers. But they still settled for their men with one (thank-God) exception with a minimum of groveling on their part. Naomi Judd (why do women who aspire to be actresses freeze their faces?) is a truly evil pervert and her husband, oops, son, is so in her thrall and so weak and naïve that words fail. She literally almost murders her daughter-in-law, a doctor, by the way, and all is forgiven after a not very believable apology. The solution to their little problem is that the couple pay her to move out of the house she should not have been in to begin with. Stupid girl #2 makes a fool out of herself longing for and stalking a husband who hires as his secretary his ex-high school sweetheart, “his first love,” he tells her, who tortured and bullied his new (very cute) wife when they were teenagers. And he has the gall to leave her when she dares to call him on it. Our heroine #3, actually does not take her psychotically controlling male chauvinist future wife abuser back, even though he begs her (quite satisfyingly). She would have been OK had it not been for her devotion to her very irritating dog, causing a modicum of sympathy for the husband. It is hard to enjoy a movie when 5 out of 6 protagonists is worthy of nothing but contempt. **3 stars out of 10**

April 12, 2014

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