Eliza Hayes Maher

Haul Out the Halloween

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“What in the Samhain?”

Taking Christmas decorating drama as far as it could go, what else was Hallmark to do but to move on to the next challenge and take on Halloween? The folks on HOA loving Evergreen Lane, a cul-de-sac in Provo Utah, are thrown into a panic when the Halloween (and Shakespeare) obsessed Marvin and Luna Balmer (The M. Balmers) move into the house vacated by the Jolly Johnsons and start setting up for their favorite holiday of the year. Not Christmas. Something must be done. It’s Evergreen Lane, not Everscream Lane. They call in the big guns, Jared (Wes Brown), President of the HOA, and Emily (Lacey Chabert) Director of mumble mumble Activities, just back from their honeymoon. To not shorten a long story, when Emily was a child, she was traumatized when a mean girl, Ashlynn Ashworth “Yard Yelped” her by scaring her with scarecrows on Halloween shortly before the death of her beloved Grandmother. From then on, the neighbors dialed back all of the other holiday decorations to focus only on Christmas to protect Emily. The Ashworths pulled up stakes and moved away shortly thereafter. However, the ban on Halloween was never officially written into the bylaws of the HOA (!). So, Alas poor Yorick, the Balmers can not be stopped. A Big cul-de-sac meeting is called, and led by sweet and kind Emily, they decide to welcome the Balmers and in a “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ’em” spirit, totally embrace all of the art and science of Halloween celebration complete with costumes, contests, yard displays, and child-friendly activities. (They agree to only go up to 5 on the “Nosferatu Scale”.) It doesn’t hurt that thanks to Luna Balmer’s life being saved when she was just a kid, all proceeds will go to the local Children’s Hospital. And as Emily points out, Halloween is for remembering the dead, and this year’s celebration will be the perfect tribute to Emily’s Gram-Gram.

I really liked this one much more than the previous two Haul Out the Holly movies, which had some very problematic and disturbing aspects to them. The fascist undertones of the HOA were dialed down considerably. It was very fast paced and the wisecracks, jokes, and gags came thick and fast. And they were mostly quite funny. I probably missed a lot of them, but one that stands out was when Jared calls Emily’s messy attic “the portal to Pan’s Labyrinth”. It was very episodic with no one gradually unfolding plotline to be seen. The neighbors tackle a number of challenges including baking contest drama, Jared’s dismay over his widowed mother being courted by weird Ned (Stephen Toblowsky), Jared’s suspension as HOA president, and Emily not being fulfilled in her career and wanting to write children’s books. Also it turns out that the local media star who holds in her hands the success or failure of the money raising aspect of the cul-de-sac’s Halloween hijinks is none other than Ashlynn Ashworth, the mean girl whose family may or may not have been chased out of the neighborhood when she dared to scare young Emily out of her wits. But no one, not even a former mean girl, can resist the niceness of Lacey Chabert’s Emily. So we were not worried. Even though a lot of the side stories kind of fizzled out, I would certainly be on board with another one with these next year. Perhaps an Independence Day or Thanksgiving Day edition? This was fun and silly. If you can embrace that, it’s a treat, not the other thing.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

Haul Out the Holly: Lit Up

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May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor

And so it continues. The sequel to Haul Out the Holly is more of the same only the ante is upped by a new family moving to Evergreen Lane. At first, the Christmas Trappings-obsessed neighborhood is worried that the new neighbors won’t fit in, and that their decor and Christmas spirit (as defined by the HOA) will not be up to snuff. That the HOA might have to go “medieval on their merriment”. Scary stuff. Christmas Bling is serious business on Evergreen Lane. But much to their excitement and joy the new homeowners are none other than the world-famous royalty of Christmas celebration, “The Jolly Johnsons”, the reigning champions of the reality series Ho Ho House and who “set the bar for Suburban Santaology”.  It all proceeds as one might expect. At first, the Johnsons and Evergreen Lane are a mutual admiration society. That doesn’t last long. The Johnsons start to belittle Evergreen Lane’s efforts and start to take over the neighborhood celebrations with grander displays and over the top of E.L.’s over-the-top events. And it’s their way or the highway. Worst of all they ignore the rules and regulations of the HOA! It all escalates in sometimes amusing and sometimes horrifying ways until the Johnsons end up ripping up Jared’s citations and quitting the HOA!! This is exactly what some viewers wanted poor Lacey to do last year. Quite put out, she responds “This isn’t in the handbook. Why did you make me participate last year?!” Obviously reinforcements are needed and it’s Lacey’s parents, the founders of the HOA, to the rescue.

 Lacey Chabert was excellent in this. Her character, though buying in and embracing the ways of Evergreen Lane, manages not to lose her sanity (for long) and remains the voice of reason and kindness. Haul Out the Holly was a somewhat divisive movie, either loved for the broad comedy and satire or hated for the torture and bullying of Lacey Chabert until she conformed to HOA regulations. Not to mention the anti- “real meaning of Christmas” message. I thought this was funnier and less disturbing than the first one. Cute gags and running jokes abound. At the beginning of the movie, Mary Louise, who is played by Ellen Travolta, references a member of her famous real-life family, but not the one you think. And the bit about the Canadian rock group Nickelback. It was funny and clever. The whole talented cast did their job to almost perfection- I confess I still didn’t care for Wes Brown’s character, Jared, Lacey’s boyfriend and president of the HOA.

Maybe I just knew what to expect with this one. Instead of a whole neighborhood (including her absent parents) ganging up on one nice girl, the neighborhood ended up being divided into two more or less equal factions battling it out for Christmas supremacy. The neighborhood comes together in the end thanks to Lacey. But although the true meaning of Christmas is given lip service, I just didn’t buy it. It was still all about the tinsel, lights, and gingerbread houses. If there is a third one in this series (and why wouldn’t there be?) it would be interesting to see what would happen if a Jewish or Muslim family moved in. Or better yet, a true Christian family who celebrates the original source of the season by looking inward instead of outward unless it is to help others in need. I know. That’s just crazy talk.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Haul out the Holly

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Haul this one Out the Door

**Spoilers**

This was so messed up. I think it was supposed to be a  fun comedic look at recapturing one’s love for Christmas decorations after a childhood of one’s parents prioritizing the trappings of Christmas over their own child’s simpler needs and desires. The movie opens with the parents of a little girl leaving the house on Christmas morning to attend some kind of Neighborhood Christmas Carnival. The little girl begs her mom and Dad to let her open just one present before they leave. They impatiently agree but give her the present she has to open. It’s a camera so she can assist in the neighborhood project by taking pictures for the record. All the little girl wants is to open presents under the tree on Christmas morning as a family. The only thing her Mom and Dad want is to make sure the neighborhood carnival runs smoothly. Priorities, people!

We meet the adult Lacey Chabert who after years of understandably avoiding Christmas with her mom and dad finds herself at loose ends this year due to a breakup. She decides to go home for Christmas. Her parents are happy and encouraging, but as she arrives at the front door, to her shock, her parents leave for Florida! Left alone at Christmas, she promises to take care of the house and put up the decorations for the neighborhood extravaganza as her Christmas present to them. This is the first example of a long line of Lacey getting taken advantage of and run roughshod over. As soon as her parents leave, she is visited by her old friend, Wes Brown, who is now president of the HOA. He informs her that she is being given a citation for inadequate Christmas decorations. And so it begins. The rest of the movie is about Lacey just wanting to have a relaxing peaceful Christmas but being hounded by the neighborhood to participate in decorating her house to specification and pitching in with all of the organized “fun”. Front and center among all of the obnoxious neighbors is the petty dictator of the HOA, who is absolutely serious when he measures her Nutcracker lawn ornament to ensure it meets the height requirement. Sadly, he is the love interest.

Lacey is way too people-pleasing for her own good and although at one juncture she points out that she doesn’t “have to” obey the covenants, she does, presumably to protect her manipulating deceitful parents. By the end, in what can only be the Stockholm Syndrome effect, she has bought into it all and the message is clear. The trappings of Christmas are more important than family, love, peace on earth, and goodwill toward men. It turns out that this fustercluck was all a ruse on the part of her parents to get her used to living in their house and complying with the HOA covenants as they are gifting the house to her. And also to fix her up with Wes Brown. Hopefully, he will put away his ever-present citation book before they settle down to marital bliss in the bedroom.

Even cameo appearances by Kristoffer Polaha and Eric Mabius can’t save this one. And neither can Stephen Tobolowsky who played Ned in Groundhog Day, playing a neighbor named Ned. And neither can Lacey, settling down to watch a Brennan Elliot Christmas movie professing “Oh I love him!” Cute inside joke for Hallmarkies. I did laugh. If you want to see the beloved Lacey Chabert, who plays a nice woman too tolerant and compliant for her own good, bossed around, manipulated, threatened, and bullied for almost an hour and a half in service of an anti-Christmas message, this is the one for you.

Rating: 4 out of 10.