Dan Jeannotte

Love on The Danube: Royal Getaway

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Art Lovers

I’m giving this one an almost 7, which is fairly typical for a travelogue Hallmark movie. The story was one of the “Royal in Disguise” ones and does not miss a square on the bingo card. So, as usual, the plot wasn’t much, but it was saved somewhat by the scenery along the Danube and the lead actress, Jessica Sipos. Sipos is not new to Hallmark, but this is her first time in a lead role. I hope not the last, because she was appealing, convincing, pretty, and well-cast (casting being a frequent stumbling block for Hallmark.) Dan Jeannotte was also well cast and together they made a good couple with decent chemistry. Unfortunately, although I usually like him pretty well,  in this one, Jeannotte’s over-the-top posh British accent got between his role and his performance. It was very distracting. Maybe he should have gone with an Eastern European accent? You know, because he was supposed to be from Baldonia(?), which everyone knows is on the Danube River which flows through Eastern Europe. However, his facial expressions matched what he was supposed to be conveying.

Ava is a curator in an Art Gallery who is a little burned out and still hurting from breaking up with her fiancé a year ago. Her boss convinces her to go ahead and go on the river cruise that was supposed to be her honeymoon. Hmmmm. That could have gone either way as far as a mood-booster. Josef is a Duke in line for the throne of Baldonia(?). He is on the outs with his dad, The King, because of some minor scandals (a speeding ticket right in front of the palace!) and not taking his royal duties seriously though he does a lot of charity work involving art. His Valet/Butler/P.A./Handler (Yes, one of those. Every royal has one, and this one is of the nice, not sinister, varieties) convinces them to have Josef go on the exact same cruise that Ava is on to have a think about his future and stop by the various palaces that they cruise by to gather art works for the Royal Charity Gala which will top off the movie. Of course he goes incognito as “Joe, just Joe” and strikes up a romance with Ava while montage-ing along the Danube. Despite some close calls, he keeps up the deception until he is outed by a paparazzo. 

Ava is betrayed and the Molten Fires of Hell are unleashed. Not really, but when she reads him the riot act about his deception she does it with such conviction that when she ultimately forgives him it did not follow convincingly. Usually the conflict is resolved by some grand gesture but all it took for her to give in was a nice letter from Joe’s sister-in-law, a formal invitation to the Royal Gala, and a selection of ball gowns to choose from should she decide to accept the invitation. Ha Ha. The last 5 or 10 minutes rushed to a close, with Joe’s brother, the future king (Joe decides on another career path) and his nice wife gifting them both together a painting that she has been looking for that was under a sheet in the family palace all the time. This seemed a little presumptuous. They now are co-owners of the valuable painting even though they’ve only been on a few dates and the future of the relationship seemed kind of iffy to say the least before the Royal Gala. But now they have no choice but to get married and live happily ever after because they might as well, right? Wouldn’t want to complicate matters with a custody battle over a piece of art of the “My 4-year-old-could-do-better” variety.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

All I Need for Christmas

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All is Calm, All is Bright

This is one of those quiet humble Hallmarks that doesn’t try to break any crazy new ground. It’s a very usual type story with little in the way of real twists or surprises. No attempts to swing for the fences or set the Hallmark world on fire. But I really liked it and was engaged in the story and characters throughout. It’s the kind that about a half hour in, you find yourself surprised and say to yourself “This is really good!”

Both of the lead characters have equally important storylines. Maggie Mackenzie is a professional musician whose career is going nowhere. The band she was going to open for canceled her because they wanted a bigger act. To get her career back on the upswing, she needs to write some new fresh songs, so her manager gives her a phone with a series of music apps on it called “Archline” designed to help aspiring musicians with writing lyrics, sound and auto-tuning. Maggie is offended and views such things as phony, ripping off real musicians, and kind of cheating. While she’s at it, she also eschews  social media to promote her career. Since her big gig has been canceled, she decides to go home to Vermont where her parents own a Christmas tree farm.

Dan Jeannotte plays Archer, the developer of the popular app. He is one half of two estranged siblings who grew up with a very toxic father who has recently died. Usually in Hallmarks when a parent or grandparent dies, they reach back from the grave to help their beloved survivor find love and happiness. This father is so awful that he reached out to continue to pit his two adult children against each other and to foster their  unhealthy rivalry.  Piper’s two kids will get trust funds and any future children of Archer will not because Piper “won” by having her two kids “first”. His will also stipulates that whoever’s net worth is greater by Christmas, will get his seat on his  corporation’s board of directors. Piper is ecstatic and gloating because she just had 2 major settlements come in which will make her the winner. This tracks with how they were raised. As Archer tells Maggie later in the movie, “buckle up for this one.” As soon as the two were old enough to start earning money, their parents kept a record of their earnings to the penny and whoever made the most money by Christmas got a boatload of Christmas presents and the loser got nothing. When he was old enough, Archer was wise enough to get therapy and because of that had long since cut ties with his father.  “I couldn’t heal from the damage while he was still trying to inflict it.” Piper, on the other hand, stuck with dear old Dad and is still carrying around a lot of baggage because of that. Her kids are great though so she must be doing something right. Hallmark kid actor Azriel Dalman plays her son, and he is always good.

Seeing a photo of the one happy family Christmas they had in Vermont, he decides to visit the same huge cabin they stayed in and it just happens to be in the same town as the Mackenzies’ Christmas Tree farm. All proceeds as one would expect. Initially, Maggie is hostile towards Archer as she learns right away that he is the developer of the evil apps that she objects to so strongly. But she can’t help but see that Archer is not the devil but a nice decent guy despite his wealth and success. She shows him how to cut down a Christmas Tree (he has never had one before), and he shows her how his app can help whip the pretty awful children’s Christmas choir she has volunteered to lead into shape. Also her father is firmly on Archers side of technology. When he garners 240,000 followers shooting videos of his adorable pet pigs and life on the farm, her harsh attitude further softens. Meanwhile, on a whim he sends his sister a picture of the log mansion he is staying at and to his surprise, she shows up there with her two kids who have made it clear that they want a real Christmas with Uncle Archer and their own tree. The brother and sister have their struggles and ups and downs while striving to repair their breach. Of course, once we get past the inevitable final conflicts and misunderstandings, breakthroughs are finally made all over the place and we have hopeful resolutions for Dad’s farm, (which I assume was struggling, because…you know), the sibling relationship, the seat on the board, the romance between Archer and Maggie, and her career trajectory.

Their were several reasons why this one succeeded with me. First the acting of Dan Jeannotte as Archer and Emily Tennant, who usually plays the romantic lead and nice girl, as the troubled Piper was excellent. I really really liked Archer. He was so nice, normal, and steady,  handling all of the challenges that came his way with grace and humor. And both Piper and Maggie, were both pretty troublesome throughout most of the story. I liked Mallory Janson as Maggie as well. She’s a good actress and made a character that had some very irritating ways and attitudes somewhat tolerable. It was a nice peaceful kind of story, but with enough conflict, tension and anticipation to make it interesting. It was a reminder that as much as I appreciate comedy, surprises, out of the box characters and story lines, Hallmarks “old faithful” type stories can also have their charms. Predictability does not have to be boring.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

Falling in Love in Niagara

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Or, How Socks and Golf Doomed a 3-year Relationship. But That’s a Good Thing.

This was very mediocre. First, it’s one of my least favorite types of Hallmarks where the plot and characters take second place to the setting. This type has its place in that they are very relaxing and give you something pretty to look at while  indulging in a little armchair sightseeing. But they can also be pretty dull and formulaic, and can come across as being paid for by the local tourism board.

My second beef was with the two main characters. They were not exactly role models for any young children that might have been watching with Mommy (or Daddy).  First, I will set the background to my forthcoming dumping on their characters and future prospects in life and love.

Maddie is a super-planner with more than a smidge of OCD  because of her sad chaotic childhood and bad parents. Every time she sees a group of 4 or more pens in a row she has to line them up and straighten them. We see her doing this at least 3 times. Maybe more,  but I wasn’t going to watch the whole movie again to count. She gets dumped by her boyfriend because of her controlling ways, but her loving and surprisingly well-adjusted sister talks her into going on her honeymoon anyway but with  her instead. There in Niagara, she meets Mike, her tour guide who’s is a fly by the seat of his pants kind of guy and her complete opposite. So naturally, they fall in love while he teaches her that life is more than itineraries and highlighters, and she turns his frown (bad breakup) upside down.

It started off pretty well and I have liked both Jocelyn Hudon and Dan Jeannotte in other things. They were fine, and the their banter was bright and energetic. However, Maddie got on my bad side right off the bat. She was just horrible to Jason, her fiance. I don’t know how they got past the first date let alone forged a 3 year relationship. First off, she threw  away his lucky socks after taking his laundry home against his wishes. Again. These are socks he has worn to every successful sales presentation since he was 20 years old. And he has one of his most important meetings the day she threw them out. He is actually pretty nice about it. But why would she do that? Surely she knew how attached to those lucky socks he was? If she didn’t know, that is just as bad. She doesn’t express any regret for her actions, but asks him what he wants to add to their honeymoon itinerary. He says he wants to find a golf course but she shuts that idea down immediately getting all twitchy about him wanting to play golf on their honeymoon. They meet later at a coffee shop. He is late because he failed to land the account without his lucky socks and is understandably not in the best of moods. She criticizes his lateness, has already ordered for him, and, last straw, nags him about putting his napkin in his lap. He breaks up with her, telling her that she  is too controlling, bossy, and not spontaneous. Now this guy is no prize. He had “bad boyfriend” vibes going on all around him, but such was Maddie’s neurotic and callous behavior, that I didn’t blame him one bit. She definitely had a long way to go on the road to mental health. So that was fine. Enter Niagara Falls and Mike the Tour-guide. And sure enough, it is not long before she is taking risks and being adventurous and is falling for Mike. And he has a major crush on her. They almost kiss. Almost, because while falling for Mike, she has been posting free-spirited fun-loving pictures of herself on social media with the sole purpose of getting Jason back. It works. He reaches out, she reaches back, and before you know it, he shows up in Niagara and they are engaged again. She has not changed, and has apparently learned nothing after all. Mike has been tossed aside like…a pair of old socks? And not only that, but she stands him up when she promised him faithfully to support him at his open mike night. See, Mike is not really a tour guide, he is an aspiring singer/songwriter and he wrote a song about her just for the occasion. He is so devastated by her betrayal that he blows the whole thing and walks off the stage.

So Mike. What kind of a guy is he? He has been sad, sulky, and a big baby ever since he was dumped by his girlfriend two years ago. He was given a job as a tour guide by his best friend, where we see his attitude has almost ruined her fledgling business. He probably should have been fired long ago. I don’t know what he would have done to keep him from destitution though, because he has no prospects, or, in my opinion, talent,  as a singer/songwriter. No large nest egg or other backup career is mentioned. And he has no backbone. When Madeleine behaves like a dirt-bag and stabs him in the back, instead of showing a little of the courage he has been preaching to her, he falls to pieces.

Anyway, Maddie dumps her fiance at the airport when she finds out he is going to play golf the next morning (she really hates golf). She returns to the Falls just in time to attend the wedding of some new friends along with her sister, Mike, and his nice boss/best friend. Her sister has had her own little plotlet as well. She ends up giving up her boring high-paying job to be a photographer (my least favorite Hallmark profession) just as Maddie is going to abandon her successful business (Taxes by Madeleine) featuring a spacious office complex and conference room with a beautiful view of San Francisco. She is moving to Niagara Falls to explore a possible relationship with poor Mike, who promises his boss to try harder to be a good tour guide.  

So happy ending? I don’t consider an ending happy unless there is a clear path to a successful future ahead for our temporarily joyful couple.

Rating: 4 out of 10.

Sense and Sensibility

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Very Respectable Effort

Since I was unavoidably delayed in watching this 4th and last of the Jane Austen-based Loveuary Hallmarks, I couldn’t help but read some of the reviews and comments about it on the usual social media sites. This was not a reworking, or a homage, or modernization, or a 20th-century woman thrust back into the time of the book, but an actual straight up serious treatment of the book. Granted it featured not an all-black cast, but a mostly-black cast. In fact, the only main characters who were not black were Eleanor and Maryanne’s weak and greedy half-brother John Dashwood, his brother-in-law, nice Edward Ferrars Elinor Dashwood’s love interest, and generous Sir John Middleton. Except for the mostly ridiculous user reviews on IMDb (don’t get me started) the movie was almost unreservedly enjoyed by almost all. Many admired how the production managed to be so faithful to the book despite the short running time of 8o-odd  minutes. The production values, acting, sets, and costumes were also highly regarded. I certainly concur! I am not going to regurgitate the plot of Sense and Sensibility because if you haven’t read it or seen one of the many adaptations, including the Oscar-winning movie version starring…well, everyone, shame on you. Kidding, but I highly recommend changing that state of affairs. If indeed you haven’t seen it, SPOILERS AHEAD.

Of course, there were some aspects of the plot that were cut, consolidated, or condensed, but this did not seem to negatively impact the main thrust of the story in my opinion. For example, Mrs. Jennings’ daughter, Mrs. Palmer, is missing in action, as is her sister Lady Middleton, John Middleton’s wife. No loss at all concerning the latter most will agree. Without the comedically mismatched Palmers though, when Marianne has her breakdown they stop over at their former estate, Norland, instead of the Palmer estate on the way back home to their cottage. It is there that Maryanne almost dies of pneumonia.  That stop over at their former home is at half-brother John’s invitation, somewhat redeeming his character. Plus he said sorry. I kind of liked that, TBH, but I am not a purist and I like redemption. Essentially all of the important plot points and characters were there and the essential dynamics were not compromised. Even Eliza, Colonel Brandon’s unhappy and victimized ward makes an appearance at the wedding uniting Eleanor and Edward. And in typical Hallmark fashion, she is happy and smiling. I liked that little touch as well.

I was afraid I would just be bored by this treatment as I know the story so well, but that was not the case either. The mixed-race cast mostly did a very credible job of keeping my interest with special kudos to Dan Jeannotte who played Edward and Deborah Ayorinde who played Eleanor. Carlyss Peer was a very satisfactory villainess and Martina Laird was funny as Mrs. Jennings.  Unfortunately, the racial aspect of the casting could have lent a more interesting dynamic than it did. When horrible Fanny Dashwood discourages her sister-in-law from hoping for a match between Elinor and her brother Edward by saying Edward must wed “the right kind of woman,” Mrs. Dashwood replies with dignity “I understand you perfectly.” This conversation is right out of the book but could have been given a social nuance that would have added significance and drama had Fanny been played by a white actress.  Actually, I thought Carlyss Peer was white at first and was impressed by the meaning it subtly gave that conversation. I only found out later that she is black. Oh well. Along these same lines, I would have welcomed a white actor playing the scoundrel, Willoughby. His cold and distant reaction to meeting her at the London ball would have made Marianne’s heartbreak and humiliation all the more affecting and layered had this been the case. Marianne got too little development probably due to the understandable time constraint, but as a consequence her learning curve was too easy, and thus less affecting. While I am quibbling, I need to add that The Dashwood “cottage” that they were “reduced” to settle for was so huge and well-appointed that I had a hard time feeling bad for the displaced and struggling little family. It made Mrs. Dashwood’s complaints about how far they had fallen seem whiny and silly.

But all in all, kudos to Hallmark for attempting these tributes to Jane Austen and doing a more than credible job in the execution. As well done as this one was, I have to add “for a Hallmark.” I put this one in third place behind An American in Austen and Paging Mr. Darcy.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

The Royal Nanny

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Scary Poppins 

**Spoilers**

I do like it when Hallmark goes to England, and this was no exception. Rachel Skarsten is good, as usual, and very striking looking with her hair up. No long overprocessed ringlets, thank goodness. Her English accent was a little distracting, but that was a me problem as she has the accent credentials once playing Elizabeth Tudor in the popular series Reign. But I digress. Enough about Rachel.

This had elements of a typical Nannyfish out of water taking care of precocious Royal Children and falling for the Prince. But this usual template is rescued from dreary business-as-usual by the fact that this was also part MI5 spy story. Agent Rachel helps uncover a plot against the Royal Family and the military intelligence department sends her to protect the family disguised as the new nanny. She is partnered by Tousaint Meghie as Wallace, the new chauffeur. She resists the assignment because she grew up in an orphanage and has zero experience with children. She goes through a whirlwind training by the Nanny Whisperer, Greta Scacchi, who has aged gracefully and settled into character parts very comfortably, thank you very much. Her specialty is weaponizing the ever-present Nanny umbrella. Once she is installed, high jinks ensue with the kids trying to prank her. She is not MI5 for nothing and their amateur efforts are nipped in the bud quite resoundingly with the bucket of spaghetti landing on their co-conspirator, Uncle Colin (the love interest). She wins the kids over by not ratting them out to their mother, the Princess, and even indulging in a prank of her own. The princess is a dead ringer for Felicity Jones, BTW. Of course, we have the inevitable invitation to the Royal Ball and a jaw-dropping entrance. She wins Colin over when he sees her with her hair down (in an unfortunate return to her long ringlets) and in a feminine ball dress. But also by jumping in to help with his charity coincidentally benefitting her old orphanage. The enemies attack as they are exiting and Rachel saves the kids with some ninja umbrella action, but Colin gets kidnapped.

The romance was lame with little chemistry between the two lovebirds and really had no future despite the kiss at the end. The spy part was adequate. I suspected one character, who turned out to be guilty of something, but not of the main threat of harming the children. When Colin gets kidnapped, Rachel’s boss tries to fire her but the princess stands up for her and throws the male spooks out on their ear. Yay! The main bad guy and the motive will be no surprise to anyone with even a passing interest in British mystery and international intrigue stories, but that was totally OK. In a good scene, Rachel has some succinct words for any bad guys thinking that the end justifies the means: “You can never do right by doing wrong.” And her reply to a common defense: “This job. It changes you.” “I think it just makes you more of who you are.” Simplistic, but usually true.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

Paris, Wine, and Romance

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Richie Rich Wine?

This was a very well-put-together romance. I liked the story of a prestigious wine competition and the underdog Oregonian company taking the snooty French wine culture by storm. The whole setup seemed pretty authentic. And I do love wine, so I appreciated the little tidbits of info. I liked the tour around Paris. I’m not a big Jen Lilley fan, but her acting is OK. I loved the male lead. He was very handsome with a lot of charisma. I just didn’t think he “went with” Jen Lilley. Oh. I see she was pregnant when she filmed this. Nevermind. Lolita Davidovitch was very well cast as the glamorous but gracious loving mother, as was the brother. The resolution to the long-distance romance problem was well set up and believable.

I just wish they had chosen another name for Jen’s wine. “Ricci Ridge” sounded like “Richie Rich.” It was distracting, though it did provide a few giggles.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

May 12, 2019