Magic

Where Are You, Christmas?

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It’s Not Always Black and White

This movie is based on a good premise and cleverly executed with a nice Christmas message that unfortunately kind of didn’t quite live up to my high expectations. Lyndsy Fonseca is splendid as our heroine, Addy. I’ve been a fan since 2021’s Next Stop, Christmas. Addy lives and works in Chicago and has not been home for Christmas in 6 years. She works in the Christmas industry year-round and at Christmas, she takes off for the Maldives. The last thing cynical and overworked Addy wants is to be surrounded by her Christmassy family in her Christmassy town at Christmas time. She has agreed to finally come home because her brother called with the news that he is going to propose to his girlfriend on Christmas Eve and he wants her to be there. (Why??? Is that a thing???) Anyway, she agrees. When she gets home, everything is fine with her family on the surface, but she senses that something is a little off. They seem distant,  especially her father. He is constantly making little digs at his daughter and her past absences at Christmas time, if not in body, as usual, then, this Christmas, in spirit. Her mother gives her a list of Christmas errands to run around town. Everyone is super jolly and happy to see her. All Addy wants to do is decompress by herself in her room. She looks at the Christmas app on her phone and wishes there was no Christmas.  She apparently has never seen a Hallmark Christmas movie before because if she had she never would have done that.  Making a Christmas wish can be very dangerous in a Hallmark movie.

Driving around, she has a car wreck and hits her head. When she wakes up, everything is in black and white and her wish has been granted. Hunter, the owner of the auto repair shop rescues her. No one knows what she means by the term “Christmas.”  All the Christmas decorations are gone. All the Cookies and Charity events are gone. Christmas has been wiped out, as well as all of the color in the town and from its citizens. In an amusing meta moment, her Mom mentions “the New Year’s movie marathon”: “Every year they make like a hundred New Year’s movies and they start airing them in June!” Addy, at the end of her rope, declares, “New Year’s movies are NOT a thing! Christmas movies are a thing!!” She runs around town freaked out and trying to figure out what is going on and why. Everyone is really cold and grouchy. It turns out that no one remembers Christmas until they can remember a happy Christmas memory. Hunter is the first to remember when Lyndsey returns his “Pop’s” Military service ring that fell off in her wrecked car. He regains his color and they are now a team determined to get everyone back to remembering Christmas and turn from black and white back to living color. Michael Rady, a favorite of mine, plays Hunter, a veteran of Afghanistan who seems to be suffering from a mild case of PTSD. The promising romance between him and Addy was not engaging to me. Maybe because he was so sad all of the time.  Or maybe because there was too much other more urgent stuff going on. Eventually, starting with a few people and multiplying slowly and surely, the town starts to remember happy Christmas moments and Christmas is well on the way to coming back. At last, there are only two holdouts: Addy and her father.

 There were so many good things about this movie.  The performances were great, especially by Lyndsy Fonseca and Jim O’Heir, Jerry (or Garry ???) of Parks and Recreation who plays her father.   Lyndsy makes her character likable and funny, as we empathize with her frustration both with Christmas and the lack of it. We admire her determination to bring Christmas back. She even made her quick turn from hating Christmas to missing it believable. Addy could well have been too unsympathetic, especially at the beginning. O’Heir takes her father from mild hurt and petulance over Addy’s absence to hostility and even rage as he sees everyone in town remembering Christmas and regaining their joy except him. As the movie goes on, the people who are still in black and white and still don’t get the whole Christmas thing, get more and more hostile and frustrated with being left behind. It was good writing and thought-provoking. The special effects were on point in the tiniest detail. There would be a town scene almost all in black and white but with a few touches of red and green indicating change. There was good balance between comedy and drama, but the emotion wasn’t there for me. I didn’t like the way the romance part was overshadowed (Maybe I like Michael Rady too much?) I think that it’s the type of movie that will definitely improve upon re-watching though.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

3 Bed, 2 Bath, 1 Ghost

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Wooooo Wooooo

Hallmark tried something different here and they pretty much pulled it off. Anna is a newly minted real estate agent who has just unenthusiastically joined her Dad’s firm. She has recently broken up with her fiance, Elliot, and is still hurting from that and the failure of their home restoration business. Elliot, who will soon be moving to Boston to reestablish his business, is still in town in a last-ditch effort to get a historical designation for a house he still wants to restore.

 Anna’s Dad has given her a prime property to sell, which has angered jealous Terrence who thinks he should have gotten it as he has been the firm’s top salesman for 15 years. Terrence is a creepy bad guy, but I saw his point. This is nepotism pure and simple, and is another strike against her toxic father who is domineering and controlling with his princess, Anna.

Although a beautiful old historical mansion, it has never sold or been occupied since the original owners passed away in the 1950s. It is “jinxed.” And we soon find out why. In the introduction, set 100 years prior, we met Ruby, a 1923 flapper and socialite who was having her birthday party at the house. The set decoration and costumes are very well done, bravo Hallmark. She leaves the party briefly to break up with her long-time love who is the chauffeur. They live in two different worlds and are not meant to be. No Sybil and Tom from Downtown Abbey here. We learn that Ruby was killed in an auto accident shortly thereafter, and died regretting her break up and still loving Charlie the Chauffeur. How do we know this? From Ruby! She is a ghost, still lives in the house, and has been scaring off potential new owners ever since her parents died. But something has changed. For the first time, someone can see and interact with her, and it is Anna. Why? What is going on?

The women go from antagonists to friends, working together to get the house into the right hands, i.e. buyers who will not tear it down. Ruby determines to help Anna reunite with Elliot because she senses that if that can happen she can pass over to be with Charlie. But is he waiting for her on the other side or did he move on and find new love after her death?

Humor is provided by Ruby’s first appearances to Anna, her matchmaking efforts, and her introduction and reactions to life in the 21st century. There is some drama with Anna trying to overcome her issues with her relationships with Elliot and her father and trying to save the beautiful house from destruction that selling it would guarantee, thanks to her overbearing and money-grubbing parent. The friendship between ghost and girl is the main focus of this movie. After everything comes to a head, the rather touching and romantic ending reveals why Anna and Ruby had a special connection.

This was a pretty good one, but had some weaknesses that were worrisome to me.

**Spoilers ahead**

Anna does a lot of research into Ruby’s life, but why did she not go back to the library to help Ruby find out what became of Charlie? Anna finds some valuable letters in the attic written to Ruby from F. Scott Fitzgerald, Hemingway, and Josephine Baker which help her save the house in the end. But who owns them? I assume her father’s real estate company owns the house since they mentioned just wanting to flip it. But how and from whom did they get it and with all those valuable letters, not to mention antiques still moldering away inside undiscovered? It is never explained why Anna had emotional problems that caused her relationship with Elliot to fizzle and to let her father run roughshod over her. The connection between Charlie and Elliot was nicely done, but the conclusion would have been more effective if there had been a secret familial connection between Anna and Ruby as well. Connecting the two couples more completely would have added a real “Wow” factor to that ending. As always with Hallmark, bothersome plot holes and unanswered questions could have been easily fixed with a few easy tweaks.

**End spoilers**

All of the actors were fine, but special kudos to William Vaughn who played slimy Terrence and Madeleine Arthur who played Ruby. She is a dead ringer for Christina Ricci who recently portrayed Zelda Fitzgerald in an Amazon Prime series. I can’t believe that was a coincidence and did lend a certain something to her portrayal.

This was a 7-star movie for entertainment value (on my special Hallmark scale), but I’m adding an extra star for Hallmark’s effort in trying something new and making a pretty darn good job of it.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

The Irresistible Blueberry Farm

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A Little Fruit, A Little Fantasy

Once again a movie I rated long ago deserves an upgrade after re-watching it years later. In this case, it’s The Irresistible Blueberry Farm which premiered way back in 2015. It was on the other night and it had been mentioned to me recently as one I would really like.  I didn’t remember being very impressed with it way back when. In fact, I barely remembered it all. I saw that I gave it a 4 on IMDb. And the title certainly didn’t impress me! Irresistible Blueberries? Come on! And spare me from another farm story. Pumpkins, Christmas Trees, Cranberries, Grapes, Apples, Pears, Olives, Tulips, Maple Syrup, Pecans: Except for veggies,  is there anything that grows in the ground that hasn’t been done?

But it was on the other night, so I gave it a go. And it was fantastic!

Yes, it was the same old city girl with almost fiance and very high heels goes-to-small-town-on-a-mission plot. In her will her beloved grandmother (yes) has tasked her to deliver a letter IN PERSON to a gentleman who lives in her old hometown. While trying to find him she learns that her grandmother was a talented artist and finds some of her paintings, one of which is of a home on a blueberry farm. More importantly, she meets working-class dude Roy who fishes her out of the water after she falls off a dock. Right off the bat she passionately kisses him. She is stunned and embarrassed by her out-of-character behavior and he is just stunned (in a good way.) And he just happens to be the nephew of the man for whom Ellen has been searching, who just passed away 3 months ago. He and Grandma were young lovers. Roy is trying to save his uncle’s blueberry farm and Ellen, as an attorney, helps him do just that.

There were several things that really made this movie for me. The first one was the undeniable chemistry between Mark Blucas who plays Roy and Alison Sweeney who plays Ellen. They really put the physical attraction between the two characters on the front burner while the emotional attraction simmered along as well. When, later in the movie, Ellen’s scary mother (another reason why this movie really worked) and her nice fiance show up to bring her home, they both know right away that there is going to be trouble when they see the two together. Another reason I liked it was the slightly “out there” choice to have Ellen’s grandmother visit her to encourage and advise her when Ellen is alone. But she’s not a ghost, exactly, even though she’s dead. She just comes to Ellen who takes her appearances in stride, and they talk together. Loved the dose of fantasy and that she’s played by the late great Shirley Jones.

Ellen’s dilemma of choosing between the two men and the two ways of life, as well as her mother’s coercion to get her back to her prestigious career and socially prominent fiance provide drama and tension even though we know which path Ellen will choose. Because Ellen and Roy’s love cannot be denied. To top it all off, there is a nice happy ending epilogue and a very touching visual at the end that ties in the romance between Ellen’s Grandmother and Roy’s Great-Uncle. It was all meant to be.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

Made for Each Other

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Careful What you Wish For…

**Spoilers**

When I saw this starred  Matt Cohen, I was prepared to love this, and it didn’t let me down. I loved him in Holiday Date, and his funny delivery and endearing demeanor were on target in this one as well.

Rachel, played by lovely new-to-Hallmark, Alexandra Turshen, is a sculptor and art teacher who is content in her life but has always wanted to be an artist, rather than just a teacher. She also would not be adverse to a serious boyfriend, but she is very very picky. “Her ideal man is a complete fantasy. If you’re human you don’t stand a chance.” Too picky for her obnoxious almost bullying mother who wants nothing more than for Rachel to get married and have babies. Veteran Hallmark actress Teryl Rothery as the mother has never been so unpleasant and unlikeable. God, she was terrible. Teryl overplays it a bit. Thank goodness, Rachel has a backbone, does stand up to her, and refuses to be manipulated into dates with men her mother relentlessly arranges for her. One evening, Rachel and her best friend, played by Illeana Douglas, are in her studio and Rachel shows her her life-sized sculpture of “her perfect man” who is “ Kind, smart, loyal, dedicated, and someone I can bring home to my Mother. He’s a hopeless romantic, we are always on the same page, No conflicts, A best friend.” Illeana tells her the Jewish legend of the Golem, and with the help of an ancient amulet, Rachel’s “perfect man” comes to life the next morning. Meanwhile, we have met David Cohen, Rachel’s soon-to-be brother-in-law’s best friend. We know right away that he is the one. Although he is a lawyer, he is following his dream of being a professional stand-up comedian. Besides being very attractive in a slightly unconventional way, he is funny and smart. He seems to like Rachel, but kind of sees through her tough exterior as well. Another point in his favor is that Rachel’s mother does not like or approve of him.

Rachel and “Clay,” the statue come to life as her perfect boyfriend, become an item. Funny scenes ensue, including the introduction to her mother, his love of eating all the time (he turns out to be a wonderful cook), and generally just being a fish out of water. He becomes a model because he has a perfect body thanks to Rachel’s skill as a sculptor. The humor flows naturally from the fact that he really is perfect. He is smart and kind, loyal and dedicated. He loves Rachel, is a hopeless romantic, and is even a good kisser. Rachel is enamored. At first.  Rachel also gets to know David, who has well and truly fallen for her (those longing looks!)  but believes he does not have a chance against her perfect boyfriend.  Even he cannot help but like the guy! But she likes David. “He is blunt, sarcastic, and doesn’t care if he annoys me. He is the opposite of Clay, but I like talking to him. He makes me laugh.”

 It all comes to head as Rachel is trying to get up the courage to enter a prestigious art contest. She confides that she is afraid to risk rejection. Clay tells her not to do it because he doesn’t want her to be sad if she doesn’t get in. “If it makes you feel bad, it must be wrong.” David challenges her to follow her dream despite the risk, just as he is doing in his own life. At last, Rachel realizes that a partner that always agrees with her, likes everything she likes (or pretends to,) and will never challenge her, is not what she wants.

When Rachel wins the Art Contest, Clay cluelessly steps up to propose in the middle of her big moment thank-you speech. It is a funny and chaotic scene with friends and family either thrilled or incredulous. In the confusion, David, who was supposed to be across town having his big break, runs up with a half-dead bouquet of flowers and confesses that he is in love with her. “This is the most exciting exhibit we’ve ever had!” says the museum director.   A flower breaks off (symbolically) and Rachel has found her happy ending with the perfectly imperfect guy. Clay is gracious in defeat. David remarks, “he’s even perfect when she’s breaking up with him!” The highest compliment I can give this Hallmark is that it does not have a lot in common with a typical Hallmark except for familiar faces and a happy ending. Very satisfying wrap-up as well.

Rating: 9.5 out of 10.

Sweeter than Chocolate

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“Love is Worth the Grief.”

I wasn’t exactly bowled over by Dan Jeannotte in the previous movie I remembered seeing him in (turns out I’ve seen him in 4 movies) and was not looking forward to this one. Chocolate. Again. Save the little Shop. Again. But he won me over right away.  He brought humor and charm to his character who started off a little smarmy and full of himself but ended up quite warm and sympathetic. And his chemistry with the female lead, Eloise Mumford, was almost tangible.  She has done an excellent job in several recent Hallmarks. She tends to star in more emotional serious scripts, rather than light comedic fare. Probably because she almost always looks like she is going to burst into tears at any given moment. This movie is sweeter and lighter in tone and she handles the banter and romantic comedy vibe pretty well though it’s not her forte.

The plot wasn’t much and has been done before quite recently (eat magic food-find true love). But despite that, thanks to the pairing of the two leads, and some entertaining side stories, I enjoyed it. Lucy and her mother own a chocolate shop that features their magic chocolate cupids. According to the family legend, anyone who is open to love and eats one of them on Valentine’s Day will meet their perfect match. When her best friend does just that and ends up getting engaged to her boyfriend, she is so over the moon that she posts about it. It goes viral and the little family legend gets the attention of a TV producer who sends her ace investigative reporter to do a story on it. In a little twist, she wants a happy feel-good story, not an expose. Unfortunately, too used to looking for scams everywhere, he offends and insults Lucy and her shop and gets thrown out. When his editor tells him that a promotion to the anchor position he covets is riding on his ability to branch out from hard-hitting takedowns of scam artists to include more fluffy morning show-friendly pieces, he convinces Lucy to give him another chance. The publicity would boost sales and save their shop.

The romance between ambitious and cynical Dean Chase and shy and vulnerable Lucy is engaging. Lucy has never tried one of her own chocolate cupids because she does not want to open herself up to love and romance. She was painfully affected by how the death of her father devastated her mother for so long. Despite themselves, Dean and Lucy grow closer as the one story has led to a whole series featuring interviews with couples that the magic chocolates have brought together. She needs the sales that Dean’s stories are generating but the orders become more than the shop can handle. Things get overwhelming, a few things go wrong, Dean may be moving to New York, and Lucy does not handle any of it well. She starts to think that the magic chocolates are cursed, and generally gets all weepy and starts to go off the deep end, which Eloise Mumford is very good at. Luckily for the happy ending, Lucy’s mother steps in with her insights, wisdom, and her own backstory, and helps Lucy to understand that even though opening herself to love may sometimes lead to grief and pain, it is worth the risk. And Grandpa “Opa” would approve.

This Hallmark had a nice balance of emotional struggles, humor, character arcs, and romance. A dash of magic and a good message made for a winning recipe.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

A Fabled Holiday

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Pretty Packaging

**spoilers**

I wavered between a 7 and an 8 for this one. I liked the trappings and the framing of the story but the basic plot of strangers coming together to repair what is wrong with their lives was tired. None of their arcs had a lot of substance or originality. Or, failing substance, humor, suspense, drama, or engaging romance. On the positive side, it did have Brooke D’Orsay and Ryan Paevey as the main couple. Their performances were charming as usual.  I like them separately, and they were OK together, but just OK. Maybe they are both just too nice to generate much romantic tension with each other.

It all starts out with a little girl and her father reading a fairy story about a magical town called Wunderbrook. Sadly the Dad dies and the little girl and her mother move away. Before she goes, she gives her storybook to her best friend Anderson and she promises to send him her stories as she writes them.

When next we see her, she owns a bookstore. Her aspirations to be an author have died on the vine due to her lack of self-confidence and fear of failure. Meanwhile, we catch up on her childhood friend Anderson who is now a surgeon who is questioning his calling due to losing a patient. We also meet a married couple who have grown apart and are on the verge of divorce and an old man who is very lonely since his beloved wife died.

Through various magical means (a detour on a road, a wrong number, getting lost, and a flooded basement) they find themselves together in Wunderbrook. It is the magical town of the storybook come to life. It turns out that they all had the book as children, but for some reason, it is only Brooke that starts to make the connection between the story and the real-life town they find themselves in. She is poopoo-ed throughout the whole movie, almost. As they spend time with the owners of the B&B and their daughter (really the King, Queen, and Princess), and the other denizens of the place, including the wicked witch, they start to get cured of what ails them. The hostile bickering couple starts to repair their marriage and the old man finds a friend in the owner of the bar/restaurant who is also bitter and lonely (the witch.) The two childhood friends start to fall in love as well as, in the end, get over the fears that are holding them back from fulfilling their dreams. It all comes together at the end with not only our friends on a happy road to love and success but Wunderbrook itself being saved, thanks to a certain aspiring writer.

Their individual stories of love and learning are told by a storyteller as if they were characters in a storybook. This was a new path for Hallmark to take and I liked and appreciated the creativity. Christmas Magic is a common trope but usually has to do with Santa and time travel. This was something quite different and, again, I appreciated it. Unfortunately, they forgot to find engaging stories to put in all that creative framing. It was, to paraphrase one of Brooke’s publisher’s rejections, “cute” but not entirely enough for me.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

A Magical Christmas Village

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Team Summer

**spoilers**

Summer is an architect and a single mother who is busy busy busy. She is all about fixing things, control, rules, and organization. She doesn’t have time for a serious relationship, and plus she just hasn’t felt that “spark” yet. She is kind of forced to take her hippy-dippy mother in, (Marlo Thomas) when her lover leaves town and sells the house she has been living in.

Her mother, Vivian, is the exact opposite of Summer. She believes in living in the moment and letting “the universe” guide her life. Plans Schmlans. Because of her lifelong irresponsibility, she is in a financial mess, without enough money to live on. Luckily, Summer and her other daughter, April, provide a safety net. But to my irritation, that does not stop her from nagging Summer about her overly planned-out life which has stopped her from living freely, finding love, and stopping to smell the roses. All while living in Summer’s home, on her dime, one step away from homelessness. At one point, she complains, “I didn’t ask you to be my keeper!” In my mind, she should have been humbly grateful and refrained from criticizing the work ethos that enabled Summer to help her. She certainly was not in any position to give Summer advice. She moves out. But where does she go? To her other daughter’s house!

The irony is that Summer is the way she is because of Vivian’s unstable parenting. It is revealed that 16-year-old Summer had to go to the bank and set up a payment plan after 6 months of living without electricity because Vivian just couldn’t be bothered to pay the bills after her husband died. That was heartbreaking. Throughout most of the movie, Vivian thinks she is some kind of wise shaman with all of the answers, which was far far from reality. I was not a fan, especially when Vivian’s refusal to discuss her financial situation combined with her defense of her lifestyle brought Summer to tears of frustration. Alison Sweeney is a really good actress.

The main story is about how the two women learn from each other and learn to find a happy medium. The always charming Luke Macfarlane provides the love interest and he has great chemistry with Alison Sweeney, which, TBH, I was kind of surprised about.

Their happy ending, and to a lesser extent, the rapprochement between Summer and Vivian is guided by the Magical Christmas Village that Vivian sets up at Summer’s house. Summer’s daughter starts to move the figurines around and soon figures out that she is also guiding the footsteps of people in real life as she does so. It was a cute concept if you don’t think about it too hard. This was pretty good, despite the fact that I hated Vivian’s guts through most of it.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

A Cozy Christmas Inn

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He Should Have Sold the Inn and Moved Back to Seattle

**Spoilers**

This was a bit of a disappointment as I have grown to really like Jodie Sweetin and her presence in a movie will sway me not to give it a pass. I just ignored the fact that it was a sequel to a Candace C-B romance. It’s not a really good idea to give Hallmark fans the idea that Happy Endings may not survive the test of time. It’s kind of a buzz-kill.

This one did not survive the initial sniff test. Why in the world would an international property developer want to buy a second-rate B&B 300 miles north of Anchorage, Huh? And I say second-rate because check out Jodie’s room. I think white-collar crime federal penitentiaries have fancier rooms minus the king-sized bed which took up over half the space. The Christmas decorations were ugly and fake.

I didn’t like that Andy gave up his lucrative plane taxi service to fail at being an innkeeper. Not very romantic hero-like. The townspeople, especially the café owner were very annoying. Marinating some kind of meat in eggnog? I couldn’t get that pukey idea out of my mind. I like the subtle fun hints that Santa was his Dad, the family “shipping business” was…well, you know, and the whole town was in on it. As with the previous movie, that was well done, if kind of incredible. I also liked that Jody had integrity and didn’t push him to sell the place even though her vice presidency was on the line. Although not encouraging him to take the money and run was kind of against his best interests. Vivica Fox, her boss, was scary and beautiful, as always.

Rating: 5 out of 10.

October 30, 2022

A Kismet Christmas

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Kismet Kookies

Anyone who looks at Hallmark movies or their copycats to any great degree gets used to questionable plot points, plot holes, and many opportunities to suspend disbelief. But this one had more than the usual problems you just have to ignore and move past. Going in, I was hopeful and curious to see Sarah Ramos, because I remember her as Lauren Graham’s daughter on Parenthood. Carlo Marks usually gives a likable performance.

Sarah is a prominent children’s author who has to return to her hometown to reward the winner of a contest promoting her new book. Of course, as is required of fictional Hallmark authors, she is suffering from writer’s block and is having trouble finishing it.  It turns out the little winner is the daughter of Travis the boy next door she had a teenage crush on and had been avoiding for over 10 years. After humiliating herself by bursting into his wedding and declaring her love, she has never returned home because of the bad memories. Yeah, it was pretty embarrassing. But why did Travis even answer the door in the middle of his vows? Was this lout raised by wolves? And how did Sarah not know her friend and next-door neighbor was getting married?

Here’s the second problem. Her beloved grandmother Mia (Marilu Henner) still lives in the house across the street. Are they telling me Sarah never visited Grandma Mia when she is supposed to be so devoted to her? 10 years of phone calls, emails, and Hallmark Cards, I guess.

She meets Travis because he lives in his parents’ old house now and gets to know his little girl,(who hugs everyone all the time. I’ve never seen such a huggy little girl) and a rekindled romance ensues. But where is the wife? Is she dead? Divorced? On vacation? I was expecting her to pop up any minute. We find out after a great deal of flirting has been going on that they are divorced and she travels with her band a lot. Whew!

And why did Grammy stop making the beloved Christmas cookies again? She taped up the recipe after Sarah ripped it up. Sarah finds it hidden away behind a wall, and she goes ahead and whips up a batch of 12 cookies. These cookies have been missed greatly by the community because they have the magical power of revealing your true love in a dream. (this is what got Sarah into all that trouble)  Yet, we are told there was a line out the door for them. How could there have been “a line out the door” for  12 cookies, especially when at least 4 were already given away?

As usual, there was an unnecessary conflict at the end which was more fake than usual and made no sense. She runs away when Travis suggests that she stay in New Britain to explore their relationship and buy Grammy’s house. Why? After she has a convo with Benny, her agent, in which nothing she didn’t already know is imparted, she changes her mind. She also realizes that the cookies really are magic because she and Travis now love each other as adults and, Yay! He is now single.

Rating: 5 out of 10.

October 27, 2022

A Christmas Melody

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Coffee, Close-Ups, and Costumes

This Mariah Carey-directed vehicle is semi-notorious for its unintentionally funny softly filtered close-ups of Carey’s face and the jaw-dropping product placements of Folgers Classic Roast Coffee. But beyond that, it is an above-average Hallmark Christmas romance.

Dress designer and single mother Kristin Parson returns to her Ohio hometown right before Christmas after her boutique in Los Angeles fails. On her way out the door for the final time, she gives her framed first 5 dollars she ever made to a white-bearded beggar on the street. Ahem. Welcomed back to Silver Falls by her Aunt, played by the lovable Kathy Najimy, Lacey settles right in with her whiny and sulky-about-moving daughter, ably played by young Fina Strazza. Determined to win her daughter over to small-town life, Lacey sets about getting her talented daughter a place in the Christmas pageant. This is where Mariah Carey rears her almost always disembodied head to provide some conflict and trouble for Lacey to triumph over. Mariah is head of the PTA, in charge of the show, and hates Lacey for an undisclosed reason. And nope, auditions are closed. This is where the other lead, Brennan Elliot comes in. He is the music teacher who had a high school teenage crush on Lacey and gets her singer/dancer/ poet/ songwriter daughter into the show. Lacey and Brendan have a great rapport and always work well together.

Everything is going along fine with Lacey saving the show with her talented costume making, her daughter settling into school and making friends with the help of a mysterious white-bearded janitor, ahem, and romance blossoming with the lovestruck Brennan. And then, one night, her former assistant shows up with the news that Lacey has been offered a job in L.A. designing her own line of clothes for a department store chain. I’ll leave it to your imagination as to how this all ends. Spoiler alert: Lacey vanquishes Mariah by killing her with kindness and her daughter steals the show with a surprisingly entertaining solo performance complete with backup singers a la Love Actually. Song by Mariah Carey. Oh weird. Love Actually’s tour de force climatic singing performance at the school pageant was a rendition of a song by Mariah Carey. Hmmm.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.