Holiday Touchdown: A Bills Love Story

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For Bills and/or Buffalo Fans Only

Yeah. I didn’t like the first Holiday Touchdown about the Kansas City Chiefs either. From what I remember of that one though (I didn’t review it) this was marginally better. The two leads, Holland Roden and Matthew Daddario, were fresh faces and new to Hallmark. Or so I thought. It turns out the actress has actually been in several Hallmark productions and in the one I saw her in, I characterized her as “fine” and very pretty. So she was OK but didn’t exactly blow me away. And that is how I would describe the male lead in this one. He has a good resume and his sister Alexandra is very well known, but I found the two actors’ partnership pretty stiff in this one.

Gabe and Morgan have been besties their whole lives but Gabe has been secretly in love with her all that time while Morgan is clueless about his feelings and her own. Even though everyone they know is aware and complete strangers immediately see that he is head over heels smitten with her. This was a kind of cute running joke. Besides being clueless she is also the nicest doctor in the world. She organizes the decorating committee and comes in on her day off to give a pep talk to a little girl who has to have a shot but who is afraid of needles. Gabe is Vice President of Building the New Bills’ Stadium. Gabe is next door neighbors with Morgan’s very large and very confusing family (Tracy Pollan, who plays Morgan’s mother looks like her sister, for one thing.) Patty Murin, who I like, plays her real sister. Also in there is Uncle Tommy, played by Joe Pantoliano and Steve Shirripa is in there somewhere as well. If there were any jokes about the Bills’ fanbase being called “The Bills Mafia” and the two actors who both starred in The Sopranos, I missed them. Luckily the plot is as simple and straightforward as the family and neighbor situation is hard to unravel. Needless to say the whole kit and kaboodle are all rabid Bills fans.

Morgan and Gabe discover that Uncle Tommy has been getting mysterious small Christmas gifts for over 50 years ever since he returned from “Nam.”  He has no idea who sends them but he has sentimentally kept them all. The same person who sends the gifts is the same person who kept his widowed mother and two(?) sisters afloat with anonymous cash and groceries after he, the wage earner, was drafted. The potential couple decides that they will go on a quest to find the gift giver as a Christmas present to him. So, with Buffalo as the background, they go around following the clues, hitting many famous Buffalo institutions and sights, meeting many past and present Buffalo Bills, and showcasing much Buffalo Bills merch in the process. 

Somewhere in the middle of all of this Morgan finds out that Uncle Tommy has remained unmarried his whole life because he has been carrying a torch for “Mia” a girl who moved away from town while he was overseas. He made a half hearted attempt to find her but was unsuccessful. It must have been really half hearted because her (spoiler alert) sister still lives at their original address, as we find out. So Morgan and Gabe switch from trying to find the gift giver and anonymous benefactor to trying to find Mia. Luckily for the secondary love story (spoiler alert) they turn out to be the same person! Also unmarried, (not even an ex or dead husband!) she has always been in love with Uncle Tommy from afar, but was too afraid to contact him for fear he wouldn’t love her back. Hold up. Just think about that for a minute. For over 50 years she couldn’t even manage an “accidental” “fancy running into you” and see what happens? She calls it “self protection”, I call it lack of gumption. They both stayed single but “It wasn’t meant to be.” My eyes rolled so hard one of my optic nerves is still not back to normal. Second chance romances after decades have past are a common trope in books and movies. But there is always a good reason for it: A giant misunderstanding, one thought the other was dead, marriage of one or the other, etc. But a simple lack of agency? I can’t even. Inspired by Mia’s craptacular feebleness and her resulting blighted life, Gabe finally confesses his love for Morgan. Morgan doesn’t exactly know where to put this information, but (spoiler alert) don’t worry she figures it out by the end of the movie. Both love stories are resolved on the turf of Highmark Stadium. One during half time (don’t ask) and one at a pick up game with real life Bills’ players. I was a little baffled and disappointed as to why, after seeking the family benefactor/lost love the whole movie the big reveal to Uncle Tommy happened off-camera. Strange. This actually could have been a pretty decent movie. At least it kept my interest until it collapsed at the end.

Besides the football players there were some cute cameos (Andrew Walker as a bartender, and Hunter King and the ubiquitous Tyler Hynes the stars of last years tribute to the Chiefs). And Santa Claus was the same one as in last year’s Holiday Touchdown. Also Luke Russert, son of the late beloved journalist extraordinaire and Bills fan, Tim “Go Bills!” Russert (sniffle). Despite a stellar season, The Chiefs lost the Super Bowl last year and The Bills have been unexpectedly struggling a bit so far this year. I wonder what team Hallmark will settle on for next year’s Holiday Touchdown movie. The line is not forming.

Rating: 5.5 out of 10.

Sarah’s Cottage

By D. E. Stevenson

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This was a perfectly enjoyable DES which pretty much picks up where Sarah Morris Remembers leaves off. Sarah and Charles are married and have built a cottage near Sarah’s grandparents on some land that they gifted to them.  I listened to this on Audible and the new narrator made the choice of losing Charles’ Austrian accent which was so much a part of his personality in “Remembers.” Sarah’s father who was so important in the preceding book stays in London and is very much on the back burner which was A-OK with me. At the end of Sarah Morris Remembers, the good vicar made me very angry by discounting Sarah’s frantic and confused insistence that she had seen her beloved Charles whom she feared dead. No matter how passionately she tried to convince him, he refused to believe her, which added to her pain and confusion. After Charles and Sarah are reunited at her grandparents house in Scotland (where she was sent to basically recover her sanity), I thought it was pretty significant that her father was not included in the joy of their reunion, nor even told, at least on the page, of Charles’ miraculous return.

A lot happens in this book, which spans, as near as I can make out, around 13 years. But there are two main plot threads. Sarah and Charles take Lottie and Clive’s neglected child, Freddy, under their wing. Lottie never wanted her (in SMR she wanted an abortion!) and treats her accordingly–only concerned with her own pleasure-seeking. Her father is not a bad man but  a non-entity in his daughters’ life whose only concern is running his business. Sarah and Charles only see Freddy  on some holiday breaks from her boarding school (Saint Elizabeth’s of Charlotte Fairlie!), but it is enough to guide her, give her safety, security, and what she most needs, love. A lot happens with Freddy, including her transformation from an ugly duckling to a swan and her almost falling victim to a cad and a fortune hunter.

The second is Charles becoming obsessed with writing a fictionalized account of his life. It totally takes over his life for about 6 months  and frankly he behaves like an asshole, neglecting and ignoring Sarah. To my relief, although she is vexed and frustrated, Sarah makes the best of it by developing friendships and having an adventure or two on her own. One of the friendships that she develops is with Deb and Mark of Celia’s House. And Celia herself to a lesser extent. Their children becomes Freddy’s playmates when she can come to them at Craignethan. (Although the title of this book is Sarah’s Cottage, The final almost half of the book is set at her grandparents’ large home, the cottage largely forgotten). Once his manuscript is finished, Charles gets back to normal (the book was basically therapy for his difficult life in Austria). But once he got everything out on the page, he refuses to have anything to do with it, giving it to Sarah. “ Do what you like with the wretched thing—burn it if you like!” What she does with it forms another satisfying story line.

Sarah didn’t always do or act the way I wanted her to. At times she came across as a little, as the British say, “wet.” She often excuses Lottie’s destructive and manipulative behavior and the harm she is doing to Freddy. There was a lack of insight and urgency to act. After 18 year old Freddy finally lays all of Lottie’s cruelties over the years on the line, and explains to Sarah why she wants nothing more to do with her mother, it’s “Oh Freddie, she does love you! I know she seems neglectful but that’s just her way. She cares for you, darling.” Uh No, Sarah, she does not. Honestly, I wanted to throttle her.  Freddy recounts even more horror stories, and finally Sarah gets it. I wanted a more dramatic and cathartic resolution, but in the end Sarah and Charles acted with wisdom and restraint in regards to Freddy. 

All in all this was almost equal to Sarah Morris Remembers. Sarah and Charles rarely disappointed me. I often feared how they would react to certain challenges, but if they let me down, it was only briefly and they always did the right thing in the end. It was quite episodic and I was often confused as far as the timeline. Sarah’s never having any dearly wanted children was never addressed sufficiently.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Three Wisest Men

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“Nothing like a trilogy to make people happy.”

It is the Christmas after the last movie and two of the three brothers have not shown much of the hoped for growth and wisdom which we are promised by the end of the second film. But there is some progress! 

The “worst” brother, Taylor (Tyler Hynes), has flourished in his career and is being offered a partnership in a successful tech company in Silicon Valley. But we know by his perpetually pained expression (a Tyler Hynes trademark) while the head honcho is offering him the moon and stars to come on board, that he still has “issues”. Taking the fabulous opportunity would involve moving out of state and out of his mother’s (huge and luxurious) basement.  But there is hope. He is still with new girlfriend Caroline, “the love of his life,” who was such a bright spot and force for good in the second movie. The actress, Erin Kurpluk’s, star has not dimmed in this one.

Stephan (Paul Campbell) and Susie are planning their wedding, but he still lives in his Mom’s guest house in her backyard. This is a magic guest house. It morphs from small and sort of modest to ginormous and luxurious from one scene to another. Unless there are two “guesthouses” in her backyard. This kind of lack of attention to detail that Hallmark is famous for does not have any affect on plot or character but it is very distracting. As is the borderline weird product placement. Stephan’s wedding plans are not going well thanks to his skittish behavior and shilly-shallying over decisions. Also his prospective father-in-law is visiting for Christmas and they do not get along.

 Luke (Andrew Walker), the third brother is just fine, if a little tense, being the fire chief, the father to Thomas, the titular child of the first 2 movies, and husband to his pregnant-with-twins wife. He’s nervous about his impending fatherhood, which a very ranty and unpleasant birth coach in the first scene did not help. She needed to go back to birth-coaching school.

To get the ball rolling, the boys learn their mother Barbara a.k.a. “Gigi” (Margaret Colin) is selling her huge house which not only throws Stephan and Taylor’s living arrangements into disarray but spurs the boys to make this Christmas, their last in the childhood home, “The Best Christmas Ever.” Thus, the lion’s share of the time remaining is devoted to a rather random string of over the top hijinks, shenanigans, and frenzied activity/disasters which added nothing to the actual story (was there one?) and provided all too few chuckles, unfortunately. 

However. There were a few high spots that kept the movie in watchable territory. The well-written dialogue (by Campbell and Sustad) flows smoothly thanks to the rapport of the actors playing the three brothers. Jerry, the talking cockatiel, was pretty funny, and I liked the callbacks to the previous two movies: Mr. B of the Christmas Pageant, Mark Laclark, and Kimberley Sustad’s cameo as the wry local doctor, for 3. Even Fiona (Ali Liebert, yay), Taylor’s girlfriend in the first movie, pops up in a pivotal role. At first I thought they had forgotten about Roy, Gigi’s new boyfriend in the second movie, but his mysterious absence is finally mentioned (I may have missed something) and he returns in a climactic scene. I liked Roy. There is a heartwarming scene or two where Taylor acknowledges his fear of change, and Stephan finally makes it all better with Susie. Best of all, her rude Dad gets told off by a disgusted Gigi very satisfactorily and he is suitably abashed and apologizes. At the end, the trilogy is wrapped up with the two problematic brothers making mature decisions about their future, and Luke welcoming twin daughters to the fold. This ended up being a good wrap up of the trilogy. As Dr. Kimberley Sustad says, “3 is the magic number.” And enough is enough.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

Christmas Above the Clouds

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God Bless Us, Everyone

It’s Countdown to Christmas and time for another remake of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. This makes the third fantasy movie this year for Hallmark and half of its offerings so far. And that’s great, if, like me, you enjoy a little fantasy with your Christmas Romances. But you can stop now, Hallmark. This modern adaptation of the Christmas classic was well done. Ella Neezer is the worst sort of scrooge as the C.E.O. of a successful travel agency (Great Expectations Travel). It is in a huge high rise in New York City with a huge staff, so apparently that business model is not as defunct as I thought it was. Her latest crime against humanity is turning down a marketing campaign that highlights couples in love. “Why can’t we see a nice high powered single woman having the vacation of her life without anyone else around?”. This means that her staff has to work through Christmas on a new one, while she flies first class to Australia on a business trip (turning down, once again, her loving sister’s invitation to spend Christmas with her family in Utah.) Spending Christmas on an airplane suits her just fine as she has nothing but contempt for the holiday. But she is dragging along her personal assistant, Bobbi Cratchet (Emily Tennant), stuffed in coach, poor kid. Bobbi not only will not be able to spend Christmas with her loving family, but with all of the last minute duties Ella gives her, will not even have time to say goodbye to her little son, Tim, who struggles with severe asthma.

Once on the flight, she is barely keeping it together as the flight turns out to be a special Christmas edition full of merry holiday making with a relentlessly cheerful (and singing!) flight staff. All Ella wants is to be left alone peacefully wallowing in her solitude. But to her dismay, she finds herself seated next to her ex-fiancé, Jake (Tyler Hynes). 

Let’s skip to the ghosts. The first one, of course, is Christmas Past, the perkiest flight attendant ever played by Faith Wright, who is adorable. We get a glimpse of Ella and her sister Frances’s neglected childhood, her happy college days with Jake, and how they broke up over her workaholism on Christmas 6 years ago. She learns the reason why Bobbi was late for work one morning which caused Ella to almost fire her. She was in the emergency room all night with her son. Bobbie is struggling financially due to the company’s less than generous health plan. Ella starts to show a bit of humanity and remorse. But just a bit.

The Ghost of Christmas Present shows Ella what her employees and her family really think of her. Her employees hate her and conspire behind her back. Although her sister still loves her, the rest of the family is glad she did not join them for Christmas. Even the kindest of the people she comes in contact with only pity her. She sees that Jake, for some mysterious reason, is still hung up on her and doesn’t date. Up to this point, she is only partially seeing the error of her ways. She is still complaining and tries to defend herself (Why didn’t Bobbi tell me her little boy was so sick? Why did she “agree to skip Christmas”?) Christmas Present is like “Oh really?!” and sets her straight.  Enter Christmas Yet to Come. This ghost is played by a big black dude dressed in black complete with sunglasses. Unlike peppy and chatty Past and Present, he is very scary and does not say a word. It is Christmas a year from now and she finds out that she is dead! How? How did she die? We are not told but inquiring minds want to know. Jake is now a lonely librarian “like Donna Reed?!” And also poor little Tim is dead too! Jeez, Hallmark. Needless to say, Ella, threatened with death, finally sees the light, and makes up for her bad behavior.

I have to say that Erin Krakow did a good job in this one. She used to be more of a miss than a hit with me, but in the last couple of years, she has won me over. I am no longer on edge when I see her cast as the leading lady. That cannot be said about Tyler Hynds. He seems to have found a niche of playing tortured weak characters who have a lot of work to do on themselves, ideally in therapy. But I am happy to report that he played a normal good guy in this one and I liked him. The script provided nice dashes of humor both during the ghostly visitations and between them, when she was trying to process what was happening to her and interacting with Jake. On a final note, I have to say that I hated the roomy white athleisure lounge wear Erin wore throughout almost the whole movie. I’m sure it was comfy, but it did nothing for her at all. Despite that outfit however, on the Christmas Carol remake scale, this was a “God Bless Us Every One.”

Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

Sarah Morris Remembers

By D. E. Stevenson

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Although I did anticipate enjoying this very much, the real reason why I chose this one, in the still many Stevenson titles I have left to read, is that it leads up to Sarah’s Cottage, one I have reason to believe might be a favorite. Fingers crossed.

Sarah Morris Remembers traces our heroine’s life as a child growing up with her loving parents, her two brothers, and a younger sister in their country vicarage home. It starts some years prior to WWII and takes us through the end of the war and Sarah’s reunion, after their separation, with the love of her life. We see her family and the world through her eyes as she is writing down her memories with help from her diaries.

When I started this story of my life I unpacked the diaries which I had kept in a large tin box and, as I turned over the pages, all sorts of things came back to me – things I had forgotten – and I realised I had plenty of material for a family chronicle. I had intended to write the story to amuse the family but I hadn’t got very far before I saw that I was faced with a difficult choice: either I could write a story about the family, suitable for the family to read, or else I could write a true story about everything that had happened to us all.…I saw quite clearly that the story would be no good unless it was true in every detail. I would write it for myself, for my own satisfaction; no eye but mine should ever see it and perhaps when I had finished it I should be able to see some sort of pattern in my life.

Although not a beauty like her kind and gentle mother and her little sister, Sarah is smart and spirited. And, nurtured by her parents, she has a very highly developed sense of morality. She is a very good girl. Sometimes a little too good to my liking, to be honest. But that is true of all DES heroes and heroines. It’s part of their charm and the comfort and joy of the books. Sarah, at least, is spunky and sensible to the last page. She and her siblings have an idyllic childhood: Lewis, the oldest, is handsome, smart, and their parents’ fair haired boy. Willie, like Sarah, is a bit of a rebel, and her little sister Lottie is pretty like a little doll and cossetted as the baby of the family. As the children grow up, Lottie becomes friends with a wealthy schoolmate whose family has her for weekends and vacations and she ends up more influenced by them than her own family. Although Lewis has a hankering to choose a military career, he complies with his mother and father’s wishes (especially his mother) and goes to Oxford. Willie and Sarah stand up against their well-meaning parents and fight for and follow their own dreams. One day, when Sarah is a young teen, Lewis brings home a good friend, Charles, who is Austrian. Although nothing untoward happens or is even hinted at, Sarah is drawn to him and, though he is 5 years older (possibly more), it is mutual. WWII is still a few years away, but Hitler is on the rise. We follow Sarah as she makes her way through her teens, while keeping tabs on the rest of her family and their highs and lows.

Sarah and Charles’ connection eventually leads to an engagement, but before they can be married Charles must come to the rescue of his noble and wealthy Austrian family who are threatened by the Nazis. He mysteriously and alarmingly disappears. Sarah bravely carries on with her father in war torn London, doing their bit, while waiting for her beloved Charles to return to her (hopefully).

This Stevenson is very romance-forward even though Charles and Sarah are separated throughout much of the book. Their love and passion (yes, passion in a D.E Stevenson!) are consummated before Charles leaves for Austria albeit with the belief he will return in a few weeks in time for their wedding. That has got to be a first for DES, and I thought it was worth mentioning. True to her original intent, Sarah tells the truth regardless of the foibles and weaknesses of herself, her parents, her brothers, and especially Lottie (Hoo Boy!). Even Charles comes across as a bit of an ass in one part, even though Sarah worships the ground he walks on. And Sarah rarely let me down.

Of course, because this is D.E.S., we spend some time in Scotland where her grandparents live near good ol’ Ryddelton. And yes, a certain ghostly carriage can sometimes be heard by certain people on certain nights. I’m hovering between 4 and 5 stars, so I’ll go with 4 1/2, leaving some room in case I like Sarah’s Cottage even more.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

A Newport Christmas

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Dimensional Fractures Cannot Be Tolerated.

Strange. For the second time this year, Hallmark, in a way, buried the lead on two weekend Christmas movies. The one premiering Saturday night was OK, but nothing special, but the one on Sunday Night, which I assume would have less viewership, was really great.

A Newport Christmas was a time travel romance, one of my favorite plots, responsible for some of my favorite Hallmark movies like Next Stop, Christmas, Love Strikes Twice, and last year’s A ‘90s Christmas. This, unfortunately, was not quite up to those standards, because of a couple of things, but it was right up there in the conversation. The plot, the concept and the writing were outstanding. It also included some unique wrinkles that I was not expecting. As for the couple of things, nothing against Wes Brown, but he just didn’t seem like a good match for the time traveling Ginna Claire Mason. I thought their chemistry seemed off. Also, GCM’s acting was a little over done.

Ella (Mason)  is a wealthy resident of Newport, Rhode Island in December of 1905. She is somewhat of an independent dynamo and is engaged in numerous charitable activities. She is not interested in marriage but wants to use her dowry to start a charity to help the less fortunate.  While preparing for her father’s inaugural Christmas Ball, her father calls her in to his study and informs her that he has arranged a marriage for her with a man called Everette Thornton whom she has never even met. She is not happy and goes out on her boat alone to clear her head. She sees a comet while wishing for a different life and to fall in love one day. Suddenly, out of nowhere, in the boat with her is Nick, played by Wes Brown. He was on a rescue mission for a missing boat and is as shocked as she is to find a stranger in the boat. Ella has jumped forward 120 years to 2025, which she is forced to admit pretty quickly once they land back in Newport and she gets a load of all the modern stuff. Her former home has been turned into a museum, The Grafton House. Nick is the local historian there and she also meets Christine, the museum director, and Francis, her assistant (secondary romance!). Nick, supported by Christine and Francis, shows Ella around and introduces her to the 21st century. She loves it. Paper cups! Pants! Lady Bosses! Lattes! Computers! Inflatable Snowmen! She finds out that she became a prominent historical figure and an important philanthropist, helping many many people through the years. But this means that she must go back to that influential life. It is not an option, despite the fact that she and Nick have fallen in love.

In addition to the usual “fish out of water” amusing situations and quips, there were many interesting  complexities to Ella’s predicament.  As Ella learns more about her life (it turns out she was happily married to an ex-naval officer named Rex Grafton who supposedly rescued her at sea after her “disappearance”. But it is very mysterious that they can’t find a picture of him anywhere. They figure out that The 1905 “Christmas Comet” that seemingly is responsible for her time travel is reappearing on Christmas Eve in a matter of days and is her best chance of getting back to the life she was meant to lead. It soon becomes apparent that the longer Ella stays in the future and the more she learns about herself and history, the closer she comes to creating a “dimensional fracture” which is symbolized by her portrait disappearing and a biography of her turning into blank pages. One day, Ella spots an old coast guard buddy of Nick’s named Adam and she knows him from somewhere! How can that be? Ella remembers that Adam sold her her boat over 120 years ago. He is a time traveler too, but got here 20 years earlier!  And that is all I will say about that, but the whole situation actually had me pretty mystified and marginally concerned as to how this was all going to resolve itself into a happy ending for Nick and Ella. To further complicate matters, I liked Adam better than Nick. 

This movie was entertaining and sure kept my interest. There were some anachronisms where they got history wrong. Christmas lights were actually pretty common in 1905 as was the QWERTY keyboard. The arranged marriage between two people who had never met? Nope. Not in America, anyway. Ella’s hairstyle was all wrong. And once again, Hallmark missed an opportunity for a little fun social commentary by having Ella ignore the fact that Christine is black. It’s the usual stuff that just has to be ignored or will drive you crazy.  Other than those quibbles it was well thought out and I liked it. I really did.

Rating: 8 out of 10.


Christmas on Duty

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Oorah!

First of all, I don’t have a military bone in my body, so I am not going to comment on how authentically or inauthentically military culture, protocol, uniforms, etc., etc. were depicted in this movie. But kudos to Janel Parish for being outfitted in bulky military camouflage throughout, except when she was wearing an elf costume, instead of the usual array of red and green coats and cute winter hats our heroines are usually garbed in. She really took one for the team because that cap was really ugly. The one thing I did learn about the military was how much our soldiers love the insurance company, USAA. Honestly, I was expecting Rob Gronkowski to pop up at any minute. Oh wait, they sponsored this movie. I get it.

 We first meet Blair and Josh when they are in basic training at Quantico. They are rivals but also kinda like-like each other. Blair is a star student and Josh is not far behind, but when the rankings come out, Blair is first in her class and asks for the very assignment that Josh has made no secret of hoping for. She had told him she was going after something else but changed her mind at the last minute without telling him. Naturally, Josh was quite put out by this dirty trick  oversight. It ends their friendship and they go their separate ways. Cut to the present day, 6 years later. It is Christmas time and Blair is shown to be very competent and respected in her position on the Marine base as some kind of trainer or instructor. We learn the commanding officer of the base is retiring and  Blair is up for a company commander position. At the Christmas/retirement party her old enemy Josh is introduced as a newly promoted company commander, one of the coveted slots Blair had hoped to get. Blair is vexed. Karma’s a bitch, girl. Josh and Blair get into a big loud fight and knock a big fancy cake all over a visiting Colonel and his wife. Apparently, this kind of thing is frowned upon, and Blair and Josh are reprimanded and relegated to spend Christmas Eve and Day working together at the base instead of at home with their families. Speaking of families. Blair and Josh are both products of longstanding military traditions. Their fathers are retired and have been nursing a grudge against each other for years and years. The sins of the fathers are visited on the children and all that.  Josh’s dad is very strict, scary, and demanding and it was to please him that Josh wanted the assignment that Blair ended up getting 6 years ago. Blair’s dad is nicer, but was always very discipline- oriented, until his wife, Blair’s mother, recently died. Now he is trying to lighten up and take her place as far as Christmas cheer and more traditional holiday fun is concerned. Josh finds out some bad news from his sister, who bears an unsettling resemblance to Blair. (This  led to a bit of confusion on my part at one point-Why is Josh dancing at the party with Blair when they are so hostile?!) It turns out that his little nephew, along with all the other military children in the neighborhood, are not going to get their Christmas presents on time because of a snowstorm shutting down all deliveries. Josh and Blair propose to the retiring Colonel, their commanding officer, that since they have access to a military vehicle, that they go south to where the toys are and the snowstorm isn’t, and bring back Santa’s bounty for all of the kids. He says no way and that is that. Ha ha, I jest. Of course he agrees, especially since he has a little granddaughter whose heart is set on a pink skateboard.  And how else are we going to have all the high jinks, teachable moments, and the enemies to lovers romance that Hallmark is famous for?

This was an OK effort by Hallmark. Although the overall arc of the romance and plot was predictable as usual (the feuding fathers bury the hatchet in the end and Josh’s father learns not to be a d*ck) the actual activities were a little different (no festival, institution saving, or climactic holiday ball!), adding a little freshness to the 88 minutes or so. The opening credits were really cute. Janel Parish and newcomer Parker Young were fine and made a good couple. Also, thanks to Josh, all professional and personal misunderstandings are cleared up and Blair is recommended for a Company Commander. It’s all Happy Families on the personal side, and Janel finally gets to ditch the camos.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.

Merry Christmas, Ted Cooper!

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Ted’s Misfortunes

This hugely enjoyable movie is what results when Hallmark brings a gimmick free well written and plotted story together with two of their most engaging and talented lead actors. I am happy to report that this was, well, fantastic. A rare 10 out of 10. In the arc of the story, there was not a tired and over-used trope to be found. Well, to be strictly accurate, some tropes were to be found, but they were not over used. This is, after all, a Hallmark Countdown to Christmas movie. It starts out on an attention getting note, when we realize that this is centered around a male character, not a female, or a couple whose individual stories get an equal focus as they merge together.

Robert Buckley plays sunshiny Ted Cooper, a TV meteorologist in Corning, New York. He is, for good reason, “the most likable man” in the state. Ted has achieved some notoriety for always having bad luck during the Christmas season. He has been attacked by a possum living in his Christmas tree, and almost burned his house down another year. One time, he contracted a disease so rare that it was named after him. In fact, this year, his co workers have a pool set up as to which possible disaster(s) will befall Ted this year. Will he be impaled by reindeer antlers? Get run over by a sleigh? Go to jail? Electrocuted? Choke on a chunk of fruitcake? But, contrary to what one might expect, Ted’s Christmas Spirit has not been dampened. Ever optimistic, he is confident that this is the year he will not fall victim to his legendary bad luck. He takes the ribbing and teasing (primarily from his co worker, Ken the slightly smarmy anchorman, played by Brendan Penny in a funny turn) in good part, and even throws back a few zingers of his own. He is not a victim. We are not only told that everyone loves Ted, but it isn’t long before we love him too. He is kind and considerate, always putting others first, but he’s also cute, funny, and smart.

Being the good brother he is, he is spending Christmas with his older sister in Lackawanna who is in charge of the Gingerbread Invitational which will be raising money for the local hospital. Of course he can’t get his car started so he has to take the bus, and then mistakes a college girl’s luggage for his own. So he spends the first few acts of the movie dressed like a “sorority girl during rush week.” Cue pink sweater jokes. He is soon squared away in the wardrobe department when his old favorite teacher, Ms Mittens, takes him in hand, and, with her walking group, takes him shopping. Of course he becomes an honorary member of her crew, The Sole Sisters. But it isn’t long before a box of Christmas lights falls on him and knocks him out. At the emergency room, he is seen by the doctor whom he had a massive crush on while in high school. They have some banter and make a connection which is further facilitated when he has to get further treatment later that day after getting poked in the eye by a Christmas tree. “Oh, our favorite customer!” “What can I say? I like to support local businesses.” He has to do his first TV spot promoting the Invitational while wearing a Santa Claus eye patch much to the amusement of his crew back in Corning. It looks like Ted’s run of Christmas bad luck is continuing apace and someone in his newsroom is going to strike it rich with the “Ted’s Misfortunes” betting pool. And did I mention that the “Lands in Jail” choice is soon quickly checked off?

That’s just the first 20 minutes. I was just so almost-in-awe of all of the twists and turns, the humor, the heart, and the sweet romance in this story, I wish I could talk about them all in exhaustive detail.  Kimberly Sustad is wonderful as usual as Hope, who as a doctor and the once most popular girl in highschool, Ted thinks is too good for him. Thanks to his sister’s manipulations they start dating and Hope is smitten by his cuteness and fun personality. But trouble looms when she starts to question whether Ted is letting her in to see the real person under the good guy persona. First, he refuses to send back a hamburger which was not made to his instruction because he doesn’t want to get the waiter in trouble. Her worries are confirmed when she learns he is putting off accepting a big promotion in nearby Buffalo out of gratitude to the station in Corning who gave him a chance when no one else would. Ted is loyal to a fault and always gives up what he wants to make everyone else happy. 

There is heart in this story as charm. We learn why Ted puts everyone else’s feelings ahead of his own and how, thanks to his sister and Hope, he finally learns that he can balance advocating for himself while still being a friend to all.

It is no surprise that Robert Buckley, who developed this story, and Kimberly Sustad who are always engaging and natural on their own, make an irresistible pair together. Their partnership in the romance and repartee is effortless. The humor is warm and integral to every interaction, not based just on a few clever one liners. The conflict is not manufactured out of some phony machinations, but is a natural result of plot and character. What a concept! Every detail was on point, including nods to “national treasure” Mark Harmon and Taylor Swift. Kudos for including an actress in a wheelchair as Hope’s best friend! The movie concludes with Janice in Corning winning a fortune for her perverse guess that Ted will end up “Kissing a Beautiful Woman on Live TV” (odds 10,000 to 1) and anchorman Ken having to sell his boat. Mark my words, this one is destined to become a Hallmark Classic and top 5 all time popular Christmas favorite along the lines of A Biltmore Christmas, Snow Bride, and Round and Round.

Rating: 10 out of 10.

A Christmas Angel Match

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Winging It

There seems to be some mixed, mostly negative, (man, I thought I was a little sour sometimes) reviews for this one, but I really enjoyed it. Written by the lead actress, Meghan Ory, it had some cute lines, ideas, and “world building” as far as angel and heaven culture was concerned. I thought the sets and the costuming were terrific. 

Monica (Ory) is an experienced and award winning angel who has worked at the Department of Christmas Connection all her life. She is 587 years old and we are told that she was born an angel, so has never been human. She takes a thoughtful and serious approach to helping singles find true love during the Christmas season. She goes strictly by the Angel Handbook aka The Hark. But she’s been in a slump lately.  Young people these days are too distracted and busy on their phones to look up and make an in-person connection with one who might be their soulmate. She loses the Angel of the Year award to the new kid on the block (only 97 years old), Michael (Benjamin Ayers), who takes a “fun” approach to match making. Monica believes that a more serious well planned methods facilitate more meaningful long-lasting relationships. Michael may have put together more matches than her, but how solid are they once the Christmas magic wears off? The tidings are bad, not glad, when a mistake happens and they both are assigned the same couple to match and are forced to work together. There is a lot riding on this particular assignment. “Cloud Command” is not happy with the DCC’s performance lately and they may be forced to downsize and merge with the Valentine’s Day folks. And the office manager Gabriel does not get along with Cupid.

I like when there is a lot going on in a Hallmark romance. In addition to getting together the “tenderheart” (human) young couple, their grandparents are making a match of it, as well as, of course, Monica and Michael. Monica takes the lead at first. But the plan to have Patrick and Daisy bond over cute puppies goes awry as well as the tried and true “Brewed Awakening”, the old collision with coffee routine. They are both called on the carpet and Monica and Michael realize that they have to work as a team. Along with trying (unsuccessfully) to get Patrick and Daisy to connect throughout most of the movie, Michael makes it his mission to show Monica some human type fun and get her to loosen up. Neither Michael nor Monica are exactly likable at first “We are not arguing, You’re just wrong!” But I liked their journey. As they tick off all of the meet-cute tropes on the Hallmark checklist, (Christmas crafts, picking out a Christmas tree, snowball fight, hot chocolate, getting caught under the mistletoe, etc. etc.) the two angels slowly learn to work together and develop a friendship and mutual respect.  I still haven’t tired of the self aware humor that results when Hallmark makes fun of their own Christmas romances. And this movie was all about that-right down to the partially heard convo that results in a misunderstanding and temporary heartbreak.

There were some nice touches that added a little depth.  Along the way, we learn that  Monica has been matching Patrick’s family for generations which is one reason why this one is so important to her. At one point Michael finds Monica in church looking for divine intervention, she says. He thinks church is a good place for that. It wasn’t perfect. It started out repetitive and got a little draggy in the middle and although Daisy was adorable, I didn’t take to Patrick. Some of the acting was a little forced. Daisy’s best friend was a gay man who also gets matched up and he was too stereotypical and it had too much of a “Check that off the list” feel. As was the interracial aspect of Daisy and Patrick, I suppose. Hallmark really has a lot to balance, so I can’t be too hard on them. On the other hand, “Baby Steps” just doesn’t cut it anymore. All in all, I appreciated the fast paced dialogue and banter and the out of the box plot. I wonder what will happen next with Monica and Michael. A heavenly wedding and little baby angels?

Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

The Ringed Castle (#5 in The Lymond Chronicles)

By Dorothy Dunnett

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‘I lost three ships,’ Chancellor said. ‘And eighty- five souls.’ ‘I stopped counting,’ Lymond said, ‘after I had seen the first hundred or so of my soldiers dispatched to their earthly rest through me. You lead, therefore you kill.’

‘Your son will be John Dee’s next pupil. You cannot face marriage again?’ Richard Chancellor drew in a short breath, and let it carefully out, without stirring the candle. He said, ‘I have only met one girl to match Eleanor. And you are married to her.’
Lymond slid his hands off the table. On his shadowless face rested, openly, an astonishment so unexpected, so vivid that Chancellor himself was taken aback and said quickly, almost in anger, ‘I’m sorry. But she is a remarkable girl.’ ‘She is a remarkable girl,’ Lymond repeated. He looked startled still. ‘She must be Christopher’s age.’

I was trying to explain to a non-fiction reading loved one the other day why reading fiction was an enriching and important part of my life. Particularly when you find something so involved and complex and written so brilliantly and beautifully as the Lymond Chronicles. I tried to explain how it was like entering another world which doesn’t really fully go away even when you are not reading the words but going about your day to day business. Even when you are not actively contemplating the book, you go through your day knowing there is an alternate reality waiting for you when you choose to go back to it. You live safely through fear, tragedy, and grief. But also through triumph, wonder, joy, and love. People who don’t read stories don’t know about this, I guess. Not every reading experience does this for me. I’ve enjoyed and even loved other books without having this feeling of it being part of my life. For me, It’s mostly been series or at least connected books where there is world building involved. Like Harry Potter. And a sadly somewhat forgotten writer of historical and swashbuckling adventure and romance named Patricia Veryan.

The Ringed Castle, I was thrilled to discover, begins not with Lymond on the way to Russia from The Levant, as the previous book ended, but with Philippa coming home to her mother, Kate.

Not to every young girl is it given to enter the harem of the Sultan of Turkey and return to her homeland a virgin….The most prosaic schoolgirl in England, Philippa Somerville arrived home from Stamboul in the summer….

Kate, nor Lady Culter, cannot reconcile the “The Queen of Sheba”-like stylish young woman with the formerly bedraggled Philippa,

“the undersized fifteen- year- old who had left her uncle’s home in London two winters ago, to plant herself willy nilly in the unsuitable company of Lady Culter’s younger son Francis… Francis Crawford of Lymond, the hard- living leader of mercenaries whose by- blow Kuzúm had been snatched and used in a game by his enemies.”

But it’s her all right. Not being sure what her reception would be, her face is “green with fright.” But after an exchange of quips with her Mom, she slides giggling into Kate’s waiting arms.

From there, Lady Dunnett alternates between Lymond’s adventures accumulating power while navigating the insanities of Russia and the terrifying court of Ivan the Terrible, and Philippa’s continuing maturation in the home of real historical figure Henry Sidney and his family and friends. Lymond is the hated and feared Voevoda Borshoia, The Supreme Commander of the Tsar’s army, and Philippa is a very popular lady-in-waiting in the court of another troubled ruler, Mary I.

As a highly qualified Turkish-trained concubine from the harem of Suleiman the Magnificent, Philippa Somerville settled into English court life as a kite among chickens, and as a kite among kites into the Spanish court of the new King-consort Philip.

She has lots of suitors, except she’s married and her divorce from the Voevoda of all Russia is being held up. As much as I hated sporadically leaving Philippa and the English Court (which includes Mary’s dearest confidant and Lymond’s worst enemy, now that Gabriel is dead, Margaret Lennox. Also an important historical figure), I was always quickly immersed in Lymond’s exploits in Russia. Dorothy Dunnett knows how to keep things interesting no matter what. The husband and wife (in name only) are re-united around a year later when Lymond is forced, through political machinations of his enemies, to leave Russia to accompany the English Muscovy Company back to England to promote trade between the two countries.

Now I, your Tsar, beg it of you. Sail to London, the home of this strange, married Queen, and speak to her in her own tongue, but with the heart of a Russian. Bring me what I want.’ There was no escape. No loophole; no answer, no argument; no excuse. ‘Then of course, Lord, I shall go,’ Lymond said.

With him goes Richard Chancellor another real historical figure much admired by DD. who has become Lymond’s true friend and match in intellect and spirit.

“The Ringed Castle” refers to Moscow and the Kremlin, but it is also a metaphor for Lymond. Since the horrific occurrences in Istanbul he has coped by shutting down all emotion and putting up a virtually impenetrable wall between himself, his comrades and his family. “He can make you want to knock him down, if he feels like it, by simply saying “good morning”. Those who still care for him fear for his humanity: He has become a machine. The alert reader sees that is not entirely true. Further isolating Francis is the knowledge that his parentage is not what he thought it was, and a prophecy that he thinks will doom his brother if he returns home. He wants nothing to do with his formerly beloved and formidable, now heartbroken and fragile, mother. And, as usual, someone is trying to kill him. It is in England, thanks largely to Philippa, that chinks start to appear in his armor. But he is determined to return to Russia where certain death surely awaits.

As always some of the plot elements border on the preposterous, despite the erudition of the writing. And Lymond is surely one of the most maddening heroes in popular fiction. If you don’t like flawed (really flawed), you might want to give this series a pass. But if you gird your loins and proceed, there is always Philippa, who starts to become a major player after the second book. And Archie. And Sybilla. And Richard. And Kate. And Adam. And Danny. Not to mention a growing number of late lamenteds, and not so lamented.
And despite the often grim happenings (don’t get attached to any domesticated animals), there is humor. One of my favorite “running jokes” is Philippa’s and Lymond’s perception of each others ages. Lymond still thinks of her as a schoolgirl, and Philippa believes (and she is not alone) that Lymond is her mother’s age. They are only 10 years apart, and usually only the reader seems to realize it. Also banter, sophisticated wit, and comedy.

On to the last book in the series, Checkmate. I expect to be awestruck, amused, frustrated and saddened, but from what I gather, not disappointed.

Rating: 5 out of 5.