by Sally Hepworth

I’m not warm, I’m not especially kind. But I can be strong.

I believe this is the first book of Sally Hepworth’s that really made it big. It’s the one that brought her to my attention. Despite great reviews, I avoided it for a couple of years, reading instead 2 later books by her which I thoroughly enjoyed. I assumed that if the book was about a Mother-in-Law she had to be Evil. That’s what the synopsis seemed to suggest as well. And if the Mother-in-law was evil, that meant the husband had to be either complicit, stupid, or weak. Now that’s fine in romantic woman’s fiction as our heroine will suffer or be deceived by said hubby but dump him on the way to a better life with another man who is worthy of her.

But this wasn’t so simple or predictable. First and foremost it is a study of characters. Not just one. In the first chapter we learn that Diana, the Mother-in-Law, is dead. At first it looks like suicide, and then it looks like murder. There are many confusing things about it which will not be answered until the last pages. The past is told in flashbacks by Diana and Lucy, the Daughter-in-law, in first person. They are joint protagonists even though Lucy is the only one still alive in the present and dealing with what turns out to be a murder mystery and investigation. At about a quarter in, I liked both of the two women who didn’t understand each other because they didn’t know what I, the reader, was learning. And as I learned more and more, I felt saddened by their adversarial relationship when they could have been allies and even friends. Such waste! Diana, Lucy’s mother-in-law, is not warm or kind, but she is a good woman who wants the best for those close to her. She just goes at it in a way that most people would disagree with. She adores her husband Tom and he adores her. She has founded a charity, and works very hard at it, to help down-on-their-luck pregnant immigrant women get the supplies and care they need. I interpreted Diana as having a borderline personality disorder perhaps partially caused by her difficult past. She seems to have developed an inability to feel or show empathy for those close to her. She is very complicated, confusing and mysterious. Lucy has married Ollie, Diana’s son. Lucy is also a good person: a bit of a free spirit, very nice, and with a strong moral center. She and Ollie love each other very much. Lucy’s wonderful mother died when she was only 13 and she meets her fiancé’s mother hoping that she and Diana will become close friends or even have a loving mother-daughter relationship. That hope does not last long. Their first meeting sets the pattern which is repeated over and over until near the end. Diana is very reserved and formal at their first meeting. Ollie asks his mother what she thinks about Lucy, and Lucy overhears Diana say “I think she’s fine.” She is very hurt by this “damning with faint praise” assessment. When Diana’s society friends explain that “Nothing good ever started from fine”, she doesn’t get it. To Diana,

“fine is an appropriate seal of approval for the son’s new girlfriend. Love is obviously too strong a word, and even like would be overstating after a mere evening together-Heaven forbid I be one of those overbearing women that fawned all over the new girlfriend begging to be best friends…. As far as I am concerned, If Lucy loved my son and he loved her she was fine by me. Absolutely fine“.

And of course she doesn’t know that Lucy overheard her comment. Not that she would really try to explain herself. Diana’s first impression of Lucy is that she has been spoiled and adored her whole life and so is rather weak. But Lucy is actually very strong, as Diana learns. And Lucy is not faultless in the rocky relationship. Diana makes such an unpleasant scene over the price of the wedding gown Lucy loves at the bridal shop, that she walks out embarrassed and hurt. But later, she realizes later that Diana did her a huge favor. Lucy never talks to Diana about it. Diana never tells Lucy that she didn’t like the dress not only because of the price, but because the dress did not reflect Lucy’s off beat fashion style and made her look “generic.” There were so many times a heart to heart between the two would have healed the breach. But Diana does not do heart to hearts. Only the reader is allowed to see Diana’s side of things, and even then she does things that are really inexcusable. Even when she becomes aware of her mis-steps she never goes back to set things straight. “She’s a good mother, I have to admit. It occurs to me that I’ve never told her that.” And she never does.

As the story goes on, Lucy and Ollie have children, and the breach between them grows very wide. Even, we are told, to the point of physical violence though we do not know the circumstances right away. So when Diana’s death looks like murder, all eyes turn to Lucy. Our suspicions turn to Ollie. Because though Ollie is a good person, he is weak and not all that bright. Diana recalls an incident involving Ollie and his sister Nettie in their pool when Nettie almost drowns trying to save her little brother:

That’s when I realized. Some people jumped in and tried to save someone who was in trouble; others did anything they could to save themselves. Ollie hadn’t meant to drown Nettie, he was simply following his instincts, just as she was following hers. My children had just shown me who they were.

By the end, I was desperate for Diana to see the light and for the two women to come to an understanding. I was intrigued by the mystery of Diana’s death and the fates of everyone in the family. I won’t say anymore but I found the ending more satisfying and hopeful than it had any right to be.