My Boyfriend’s Dogs

Not a Romance, Really, but Still Cute.

The current image has no alternative text. The file name is: myboyfriends.jpg

Erica Christianson is charming as the young woman who has to kiss a few dogs before she finds her match. Or rather, she has to learn to be herself and not mold herself to whatever she thinks would please her target guy. She starts running, pretends to like Jazz, golf, and read boring classics just to attract and keep him. The whole story is taken up with exploring how her 3 boyfriends lose their luster the more she gets to know them. The last one makes it all the way to the altar. She finally finds her perfect guy who happens to have been in the deep background all along. I didn’t like the way she didn’t learn her lessons with the first two, and because of that she was unfair to guy #3. Yes, he was obnoxious, but he doesn’t deserve his fate and neither did his snobby family. I still give it props for not following the usual template, but I do wish she and the right guy would have had more interactions.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

February 13, 2021

Miracle in Bethlehem, PA.

Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the Wee Donkey!

There has been a lot of revisionist Hallmark history going on and this movie brings it to a head. This is basically an allegory about the traditional story of the birth of Jesus, complete with The Bethlehem Star Inn, Mary (Ann), Joe, Goldie, Frankie, and Grandma Myrtle, an old barn, and even a Wise Man, a guy named Shepherd and a dog named Donkey. The story is about a new adoptive mother (told the good news that her baby is ready for pick-up by a woman named Gabriella) who is caught in a snowstorm and has to bunk in with Joe because all of the hotel rooms are filled. In short, it is a very Christian religion-centric movie where the leads actually talk about their faith, and God, and quote the bible. And Church is front and center.

Some seem to think that the competition offered by Bill Abbott and his GAF network somehow scared Hallmark back to faith-based programming when actually the opposite is true. It was under Abbott’s leadership that Hallmark got away from more faith-based programming. Here is a quote from him about Hallmark in 2019 in answering why Hallmark seems to snub other religions and traditions:

“…we don’t look at Christmas from a religious point of view, it’s more a seasonal celebration. Once you start to slice it more finely within individual religions it’s a little bit tougher to necessarily tell that story in a way that doesn’t involve religion and we always want to stay clear of religion or controversy.”

It was under his authority that Hallmark cut out Christianity from Christmas. To the point that there were no more Christmas Carols that sung about God or Jesus. Forget about “Joy to the World the Lord has Come / Let Earth Receive Its King.” What forced him out of Hallmark was the incorporation of gay and lesbian couples and more racial diversity, not that he wanted to put on “Family and Faith-based programming.” At Hallmark, he was all about keeping movies secular with no God or Jesus involved in Christmas movies. Needless to say, he has now changed his tune.

Now that Abbott is gone, Hallmark is returning to its faith-based roots with a few of its movies and outdoing GAF at its own game. This movie, and many other movies since he left exemplify that in large ways and small (religious Christmas Carols are finally back.) Christianity is included along with other belief systems. Pick and choose or embrace and learn as you will. But with Hallmark you have that choice.

That off my chest, the movie itself didn’t quite hit all the right notes. There were many things I liked about it, particularly Laura Vandervoort’s portrayal of Mary as a compassionate, successful and respected attorney who puts her Christian faith into practice. Her vulnerability about her inability to have children and her patient longing for a long-anticipated adopted child was very affecting. Unfortunately, Benjamin Ayers, who is usually a favorite of mine was miscast in the role of Joseph. This Joseph, as written, that is. The actor’s forte is as a mature, true-blue All-American Male type. Kind of Lumberjack-y. That type would have made a great Joseph in this movie and a good match for the Mary character as she was written. But for some ill-advised reason, the writers made this Joseph an ex-rock band frontman who quit that career and life in general when his father died. He has taken over his Dad’s garage and living in his old house. Nothing wrong with that, but the place is a pigsty and he has degenerated into a slovenly apathetic man-child who spends his off-time playing video games much to his put-upon girlfriend’s frustration. She leaves him and he couldn’t be bothered to care less. And the haircut Joe is sporting is more suited to a 20-something hipster metrosexual type. I mean the guy has the time and motivation to go to a hair salon to get the latest cutting-edge hairstyle but can’t muster up the energy to do the dishes. Into his life comes Mary Ann who arrives at his sister Frankie’s B & B in the middle of a dangerous snowstorm. All the rooms are occupied but Frankie cannot bear to turn away the nice beautiful woman with the little newborn baby. Her brother Joe has a spare room in his house. Of course, Joe is smitten and by the end of the movie, he has completely reformed. They are together but the pairing is unlikely, to say the least.

Besides Joe’s character, other distractions compromised the strong potential of the story. His singing, for example. Ayer’s rendering of tender and innocent Sunday-school song, “This Little Light of Mine” Joe Cocker style to the sleepy baby was just cringeworthy. And there was a flat and pitchy choir performance of “Oh Holy Night” that took me right out of the movie. Some of the links between this story and the original were a little too on on the nose. As a lawyer, Mary Ann saves the family barn by finding a tax loophole. The mother cries, “Oh Mary Ann You are an absolute Saint!!” I don’t know if that was meant to be funny, but I laughed. And I feel like it was At, not With.

So all in all, I liked the concept and the potential was huge for a moving and thoughtful story. In some ways it succeeded but some unfortunate choices kept it from being an unqualified success at what I think they were going for.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

Made for Each Other

Careful What you Wish For…

**Spoilers**

When I saw this starred  Matt Cohen, I was prepared to love this, and it didn’t let me down. I loved him in Holiday Date, and his funny delivery and endearing demeanor were on target in this one as well.

Rachel, played by lovely new-to-Hallmark, Alexandra Turshen, is a sculptor and art teacher who is content in her life but has always wanted to be an artist, rather than just a teacher. She also would not be adverse to a serious boyfriend, but she is very very picky. “Her ideal man is a complete fantasy. If you’re human you don’t stand a chance.” Too picky for her obnoxious almost bullying mother who wants nothing more than for Rachel to get married and have babies. Veteran Hallmark actress Teryl Rothery as the mother has never been so unpleasant and unlikeable. God, she was terrible. Teryl overplays it a bit. Thank goodness, Rachel has a backbone, does stand up to her, and refuses to be manipulated into dates with men her mother relentlessly arranges for her. One evening, Rachel and her best friend, played by Illeana Douglas, are in her studio and Rachel shows her her life-sized sculpture of “her perfect man” who is “ Kind, smart, loyal, dedicated, and someone I can bring home to my Mother. He’s a hopeless romantic, we are always on the same page, No conflicts, A best friend.” Illeana tells her the Jewish legend of the Golem, and with the help of an ancient amulet, Rachel’s “perfect man” comes to life the next morning. Meanwhile, we have met David Cohen, Rachel’s soon-to-be brother-in-law’s best friend. We know right away that he is the one. Although he is a lawyer, he is following his dream of being a professional stand-up comedian. Besides being very attractive in a slightly unconventional way, he is funny and smart. He seems to like Rachel, but kind of sees through her tough exterior as well. Another point in his favor is that Rachel’s mother does not like or approve of him.

Rachel and “Clay,” the statue come to life as her perfect boyfriend, become an item. Funny scenes ensue, including the introduction to her mother, his love of eating all the time (he turns out to be a wonderful cook), and generally just being a fish out of water. He becomes a model because he has a perfect body thanks to Rachel’s skill as a sculptor. The humor flows naturally from the fact that he really is perfect. He is smart and kind, loyal and dedicated. He loves Rachel, is a hopeless romantic, and is even a good kisser. Rachel is enamored. At first.  Rachel also gets to know David, who has well and truly fallen for her (those longing looks!)  but believes he does not have a chance against her perfect boyfriend.  Even he cannot help but like the guy! But she likes David. “He is blunt, sarcastic, and doesn’t care if he annoys me. He is the opposite of Clay, but I like talking to him. He makes me laugh.”

 It all comes to head as Rachel is trying to get up the courage to enter a prestigious art contest. She confides that she is afraid to risk rejection. Clay tells her not to do it because he doesn’t want her to be sad if she doesn’t get in. “If it makes you feel bad, it must be wrong.” David challenges her to follow her dream despite the risk, just as he is doing in his own life. At last, Rachel realizes that a partner that always agrees with her, likes everything she likes (or pretends to,) and will never challenge her, is not what she wants.

When Rachel wins the Art Contest, Clay cluelessly steps up to propose in the middle of her big moment thank-you speech. It is a funny and chaotic scene with friends and family either thrilled or incredulous. In the confusion, David, who was supposed to be across town having his big break, runs up with a half-dead bouquet of flowers and confesses that he is in love with her. “This is the most exciting exhibit we’ve ever had!” says the museum director.   A flower breaks off (symbolically) and Rachel has found her happy ending with the perfectly imperfect guy. Clay is gracious in defeat. David remarks, “he’s even perfect when she’s breaking up with him!” The highest compliment I can give this Hallmark is that it does not have a lot in common with a typical Hallmark except for familiar faces and a happy ending. Very satisfying wrap-up as well.

Rating: 9.5 out of 10.

Christmas With a Crown

Save the Library

This is a no more than serviceable Prince Pretending to be a Commoner in America story. He is visiting a small town trying to discover the true meaning of Christmas, so camouflaged as it is in the palace by meaningless tradition and formality. He goes to the town where a late former friend of his mother lived and that to him embodies the spirit of Christmas via her letters to his mother, the queen. He gets on the wrong side of a woman who is trying to save the local library by reviving her mother’s yearly project, the Winter Fest. Her mother, it turns out, just happens to be the woman whose letters to his mother have brought him to town.

Teryl Rothery plays the queen, who is pretty unpleasant throughout almost the whole movie. Marcus Rosner, a Hallmark veteran is good as the square-jawed dimpled prince. He was princely. I actually liked his use of a quasi-English accent when in his prince persona and an American accent when in disguise. Unfortunately, the actress who played his love interest was not a good match, in my opinion. For one thing, she seemed too mature and worldly-wise to be a romantic lead for a prince in disguise in Small-Town U. S. A. The character got on my bad side right away by foolishly turning down his enthusiastic offer of help with saving the library because he was a visitor and not “part of the community.” Especially since No One in the Actual “Community” stepped up to the plate. Everyone had an excuse.

There is a priceless scene near the end of the movie where Queen Teryl orders Prince Nicolas to kneel before her and pulls out a crown that looks like it was snagged from the Burger King mascot. She **spoiler alert**coronates her son right there in the middle of Winter Fest. I’m not sure whether this added a star to my rating or subtracted a star. But one thing for sure, Teryl and Marcus looked distinctly uncomfortable.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

December 14, 2021

Holiday Date

And for Something a Little Different…

This is a genuinely amusing little variation on the usual Hallmark template. It starts off with all of the clichés in place: Nice girl gets dumped before the holidays when she is expected to bring the dumper to meet the family for the first time. she can’t bear the humiliation or to disappoint them so she falls in with a plan to substitute an actor to impersonate the architect “Mr. Christmas” ex-boyfriend. He is a born and bred New York City actor who is anxious to visit a small town to get a feel for a role he is up for. One problem. He is Jewish and far from being an architect, he can’t even build a gingerbread house. The chemistry between the charming leads was great, and there was ample support from veteran actors Bruce Boxleitner and Teri Rothery. The talented Anna Van Hooft, who usually plays the villain in Hallmark movies, does a credible job in a throwaway part as the supportive sister, for a change. And let’s not forget the contribution by Hallmark stalwart Peter Benson as the brother-in-law and all of his helpful advice.

This was a nice romance with some good laughs fueled by the tension of when will the truth come out, and what will happen then, and the cluelessness of fake fiancee Joel, played with aplomb by newcomer Matt Cohen.

One of the best this year. Hallmark Christmas movie fans: Don’t miss it!

Rating: 9 out of 10.

December 16, 2019

Sweet Mountain Christmas

Pretty Bad.

I guess I expected a bit more effort to support Megan Hilty, a fairly high profile singer-actress. I was disappointed in the writing as Greg Rossen has penned some of my favorite Hallmarks. And Lifetime movies are usually a bit of a cut above. Neither the plot nor the motivations of the MCs or the townspeople made sense. Instead of welcoming their home town star, they turned a cold shoulder to her when she was trying to be involved in helping the community. If your town is in trouble, here is a hint. Be nice to the famous and rich superstar who is coming home for a visit. If they were trying to be loyal to their beloved mayor and ex-boyfriend of our star, that’s wack too. He was the one who stood her up, not the other way around. I did not understand the lack of communication(do I ever?). They should have done a better job with Laney’s character arc, which was non-existent. She was nice (if understandably busy) from beginning to end. All in all a cookie cutter assembly line effort complete with a “cute” popcorn fight instead of the usual cliché snow-ball fight. I expect to roll my eyes a bit during a Hallmark-type movie, but cringing is a no-no.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

November 3, 2019

Road to Christmas

Some Special Touches

Very pleasant. Nothing super special, but nothing to make you want to throw your remote at the TV set either. The acting was definitely above average by Jessy and Chad Michael Murray. I like the actress who played the mother, Teryl Rothery. She is in many Hallmark films and is always very reliable. I liked the plot with the three adopted Brothers finally reunited as a surprise for Christmas. It added an emotional depth that’s been missing in many of these Hallmark Christmas stories. I love the graphics that show the journeys of the two protagonists! One normally does not see such creativity and cuteness in a Hallmark movie. It took me by surprise.

One final comment that I hope isn’t too mean but just needs to be said. Jessy Schram has lost way too much weight and looks a good bit worse for wear. If she’s been sick I hope she gets better soon because she really is a top-notch Hallmark actress.**7 out of 10 stars**

Rating: 7 out of 10.

November 7, 2018

All for Love

Romancing the Seal (Navy)

I thought I’d re-watch this one, because I usually really like Sara Rue, and the very sexy Steve Bacic has become one of my favorites. He is a very busy actor and occasionally stops in to do a Hallmark movie. I wish he’d do more. I thought I would be bumping this one up to an 8 after I saw it again, but no, it’s still a 7. The main reason was that Sara really got on my nerves. Both the actress and her character. The actress really overacted and over-did the “I’m so adorable and spunky” bit.

Jo is a romance novelist whose last novel was panned because she got so many details about firefighting wrong. She is in a slump because her novels have lacked authenticity. The current rough draft is about a Navy Seal, and it suffers from the same problem. Her editor, a wonderfully no-nonsense Teryl Rothery, sends her to Seal training school, run by her brother Colin, a former Seal. (Just go with it) Steve Bacic is perfectly cast as the ex-Navy Seal. And Sara Rue is as well as the soft and feminine Jo.

Jo’s wimpy behavior at the end when she jumped to conclusions about Colin still being hooked up with his ex was very irritating. I hate the “big misunderstanding” cliché which could be quickly resolved with a little honest communication. When she learned the truth, which had to stalk her and attack her and overpower her to be believed, she was still very namby pamby about going after him. She had to be coerced and implored by all and sundry to fix her stupidity.

This one had a lot of potential, and was still pretty cute, but Sara’s over-the-top performance and her character’s lack of gumption in the end really disappointed me.**7 out of 10**

Rating: 7 out of 10.

June 13, 2021

Sweet Carolina

Tragedy sends big city marketing executive Josie back to her small hometown to become guardian to her niece and nephew. With help from her ex-boyfriend Cooper, she and her family find a new way forward, together.

Hallmark Takes a Daring Step Forward

It’s not often Hallmark actresses get to portray anguish on camera. Luckily they have a real pro and bona fide actress in Lacey Chabert, who did a very credible job. I can think of very few in the stable of regulars who could have pulled off the scene where she learns her beloved sister and brother-in-law have been killed. I cried. The whole ensemble handled the story very well. You can tell they pulled out the “big guns” to meet the challenge of a script that actually called for a range of emotions: Gregory Harrison and Teryl Rothery as the parents, good ole Peter Benson as the city boyfriend who gets dumped for the small-town coach, who was played by the always welcome Tyler Hynes. I appreciated that they got a normal-looking kid who could act to play the introverted son.

There were very real problems and conflicts that had to be resolved. The father was a good guy, but too controlling. Gregory Harrison managed to keep him likable. I groaned when they were setting up for the customary Hallmark food fight ( or snowball fight if it’s winter) but it was actually funny, thanks to the performances.

It was good to see Hallmark break out of its own box a little bit. Fear not, most of the usual templates were still in place, but baby steps! Kudos.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

May 17, 2021

P. S. I just noticed that Lacey Chabert was actually one of the writers. You go, girl! **8 stars out of 10**