Nazneen Contractor

Love on the Danube: Love Song

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No Blues on This Danube

Really, I got nothing. This was a very standard and generic travelogue type romance with nothing much to distinguish it. Good or bad. There was some nice scenery and some good singing, which I actually could have used more of. The actors were fine. Not a major fan of either Nazneen Contractor or Wes Brown, but they were fine. The two older actors who played these late thirty-somethings’ parents were both also fine. Actually a little more than fine.

Jack and Sarah are on a  Broadway revival themed river cruise with their widowed parents, Andre and Julia, who are still down in the dumps about the deaths of their spouses. Jack and Andre have never been close because Andre was not very present as a husband and father and has been regretting that. Sarah and Julia have always been close but Julia is not recovering fast enough from her husband’s death for Sarah’s taste. Also Sarah has always felt responsible for holding her mother back from her full potential as a Broadway singer and actress, where, in her opinion, she should have been a star performer and not just in the chorus. Which is dumb. Because of this Sarah is a workaholic and determined that nothing will stand in her way career-wise. She has a slave-driver of a boss who will not let her alone and is constantly pressuring her to do this, that, or the other even on her vacation or she will not get that all-important promotion. This is the second rude threatening boss in as many weeks and I am really over this annoying convention. No boss would ever be so mean and demanding with a valued employee. Anyway, Jack and Sarah get together to pull a Parent Trap-type Matchmaking scheme on their parents and of course end up falling in love themselves. While cruising, running, sightseeing, and wine-drinking along the banks of the Danube, Julia learns the usual life lessons and Jack already has it all together so learns nothing. After giving him the brushoff, Julia changes her mind and decides to ease off on her career and let love into her life in the form of Jack. Then she quits her job to start her own company which will not exactly lead to more work-life balance, but will get her boss off her back. Probably being promoted would have done that too (she gets the promotion), but whatever. Andre and Julia remain “just friends.”

At one point, Julia sings snippets from “The Trolley Song” from Meet Me in Saint Louis and “Somewhere” from West Side Story. For me, these were highlights and had they been more than just snippets, I probably would have given this movie another star. This is the first part of a trilogy based on cruising The Danube. Apparently the second one is a Royal in Disguise. Thank you very little, Hallmark.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Scentsational Christmas

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Doesn’t Stink

Ellie is a chemist who works for a perfume company. She is working on a signature fragrance for a pop artist superstar that will make her career if it passes muster with the young influencer and propel her to Paris, the City of Light. This is a pun, as you will see. While she is waiting for the young diva to try her creation, she goes home to New Hampshire for Christmas. Her family has been in the candle-making business for 150 years but when she gets home she finds the business all but in ashes. Since the death of her mother, who was the brains of the operation, her hopeless father has not been able to keep the business afloat creatively (his wicks are crooked) nor business-wise (he writes important orders on the backs of old receipts.) To make matters worse, the recipe for their famous wish-granting “Christmas Candle” has been lost with the death of the mother. It is a measure of Ellie’s character that she doesn’t murder dear old dad or literally light a candle to the business and collect the insurance money. She takes things in hand and soon she has pulled her legacy back from the brink, except for the one thing that can secure its future: the secret ingredient to the Christmas Candle. Meanwhile, the young pop diva has a hysterical meltdown when she gets a whiff of Ellie’s perfume. Apparently, it contains pine and she hates pine because she was trapped in an Ikea store as a child. It gets a whole lot more complicated and I haven’t even mentioned the love interest who is a peripatetic journalist who is doing a piece on the family candle-making business. Or the family legend regarding the magical Christmas Candles. The rest of the movie proceeds with the journalist and Ellie on a quest for the secret ingredient, which, when found, turns out to be the perfect scent for her young client. Then the big conflict happens.  

This was just meh. Nazneen was fine as usual, the love interest was competent if somewhat of a non-entity who seems very lackadaisical about his job. The ending was super-cheesy and doesn’t bear a lot of scrutiny. The future of the romance and her career seemed to be a little vague. I prefer things nailed down. On the other hand, The candle-making aspect was interesting and I don’t think it’s ever been done before. A welcome break from bakers, vintners, and confectioners.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

The Perfect Pairing

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When a tough as nails food critic slips and loses her memory while touring a winter winery, she discovers her true heart’s desires and new romance with a local Winemaker and his family but could lose it all when her true identity comes to light.

“I’m the Bad Guy!”

**Spoilers**

This was a very well-constructed story about the danger of being too rigid and the importance of second chances. We learn almost from the first scene that Our Heroine is very flawed and also know right away that she has lessons to learn and a personal journey to go on in order to become a better person. It is a measure of the actress Nazneen Contractor’s skill and appeal that I didn’t hate her or feel hostile to her. (Unlike with 2 recent hallmark movies in December starring another actress playing women who also had lessons to learn. I’m looking at you, Jen Lilley.)

Christina Joy Osbourne is a restaurant and wine critic. She is harsh, negative,  demanding, bossy, and rigid. These traits are symbolized at the beginning by her too-high spikey heels and being a bad baker. Her mother tells her she doesn’t always have to follow the recipe to the letter and needs to be more creative and flexible. (This was actually a bad metaphor because, in baking, you actually do have to follow the recipe. But we get the idea.) Her relationship with her almost-fiance is negatively affected by her personality, and we quickly learn that it also caused her writing partner to go solo as well. A writing partner whose fair and balanced “glass half full” approach has pushed her to the top of the wine critic world. We also learned that our heroine has brought a family winery to the brink of ruin by a harsh unfair review and her refusal to give them a second chance. The stage is set.

Christine is assigned to attend a wine festival and in a twist of fate winds up on the doorstep, without her phone or purse, of the family winery she almost ruined. When she learns her mistake, in her haste to get away, she slips on the ice with her spiked heels, hits her head, and gets amnesia. Brennan Elliot and his family kindly invite “Joy” to stay the “3 to 7 days” it will take to get her memory back. Brennan is kind of adorable in this despite his 47 years and the chemistry between the two leads is excellent. Needless to say, she undergoes a sea change without her memory and regains her former happy, fun, kind, easy-going self. This is symbolized by her newfound success in baking and her new comfy shoes. Brennan and Nazneen fall in love.

While on a trip to town, she runs into her old writing partner who tells her who she is. She is horrified as Brennan and family have made no secret of how they justifiably feel about the destructive C. J. Osburne. All proceeds according to the Hallmark planogram. She keeps her Identity a secret, they find out anyway (in a real holy crap moment.) Lots of anger, then forgiveness as “Joy” makes up for her past unprofessional behavior in spectacular fashion and a winery and romantic relationship is saved.

Despite its by the book following the Hallmark amnesia script bible, I did enjoy this. I liked that Christina had really gotten off track with her attitude, but that we didn’t hate her and could see she was a good person at heart. I liked the touchstones along the way of Spiked heels vs. Comfy shoes, and the baking metaphor for her personality change. As “Joy” she encourages Brennan’s daughter to go with the pink dress she loves even though it doesn’t suit her color palate according to the “rules”. The ice wine background was interesting and educational. Brennan is developing an ice wine to save the winery against his father’s wishes as it is a risky endeavor that he previously failed at. Ice wine was discovered due to a “happy accident” of ruined frozen grapes in 19th c. Germany which were given a second chance. Much like Christina is frozen in her outlook on life and her fall on the ice that caused her amnesia was also a “happy accident.” She should have given the winery a second chance since their submission was bad due to a fluke, just as Dad needs to give Ice wine a second chance. Both Brennan and her old partner give C.J. a second chance. All the little threads came together to fall in with the themes of the story thanks to a very mindful well well-thought-out script. I appreciated the attention to detail.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

January 17, 2022