Meet the Parents 2.0

Of course at the conclusion of this movie about the marriage of two young people almost derailed by their two competing cultures everything ends in happiness, peace, acceptance, and compromise. But is that really what it’s about? To my mind, it is more about a young modern Indian-American woman who has struggled to please her demanding and overprotective father all of her life, who finally stands up for herself thanks to her love for her Irish-American fiance and her desire not to lose her family while marrying her man.

Asha and Jake become reacquainted when he has to go to the emergency room where she is working as a Nurse Practitioner during the Christmas holidays. They had gone to high school together where Asha was the scholarly math whiz and Jake was a popular English major, homecoming king, and top athlete. He is currently a successful sports journalist. It is pretty much love at first sight in the emergency room, cue courtship and dating montage, which ends in a marriage proposal almost a year later at Christmas time. They are a sweet and likable couple played by Ben Hollingsworth and talented and beautiful Anuja Joshi as Asha. They are both excellent with great chemistry.

Now engaged, they are going back to their hometown to Meet The Parents. Trouble is foreshadowed by Asha’s  alarmed reaction to finding out that Jake did not receive Asha’s traditional father’s permission to ask for her hand in marriage. Yes, how could he not have known to do that, how could they not have met the parents before since they grew up in the same town, etc. But details details-I didn’t care. Also foreshadowing trouble with dear old Dad is Asha’s story that, pushed to be a M.D. all of her life, she had to pretend to fail the MCAT’s in order to keep the peace and pursue her real dream of Nursing. So we learn that, although bullied by her controlling  (but loving!) father, she is strong and has found a way to live her own life. Throughout the movie, Asha struggles with wanting to stand up to her father Samuel’s behavior despite her respect for his struggles and sacrifice. Anuja Joshi’s deft performance ensures we empathise with and understand her dilemma instead of being frustrated by her inability to put her foot down. When she introduces Jake to her otherwise warm and welcoming family, her father does not disappoint in the trouble and strife department. I will just summarize every micro and macro (mostly macro) aggression by just saying that he is rude and obnoxious to poor Jake at every opportunity.

When Asha is introduced to Jake’s divorced parents, there are challenges but nothing compared to what  Asha’s father inflicts on Jake and indirectly, Asha. The big conflict is about wearing or not wearing shoes in the family home. Both Jake Sr. and Molly are sometimes awkward, only a bit demanding, but always well-meaning. Our couple’s situation is surprisingly layered. Despite all of the stress, there is a lot of family warmth and humor in this movie. Jake’s Mom and Dad are a little quirky and very free and easy, while the Singhs are a large close family but immersed in tradition and structure. We learn, thanks to Jake’s father’s uncomfortable probing that the couple are not on the same page regarding having children. He is worried about that and doesn’t want them to make the same mistakes he and Molly made. It turns out that Jake’s mom is a former rival of Asha’s father in the town’s house decorating contest. He has won the prize many years in a row but only after Molly effectively abdicated her throne after her divorce from Jake’s Dad. She is now  the queen of the local Christmas Pageant instead. We see that there might be some social divide between the two as, when they meet some of their former school mates, they express surprise that the High School big shot and the under-the-radar Nerd are engaged. There is a financial gap between the two families as well, with the suburban Singhs apparently much wealthier than the more urban O’Briens.

 The Singh’s devout Christianity is an important part of this story. Their religion is unusual for Indians and has brought challenges both in India and in the immigrant community. Asha’s mother was raised Hindu but fell in love with her husband’s faith and converted. When Asha and Jake are late to church and the father’s traditional reading of the Christmas story his anger brings all of the tension and misunderstandings between the two families to a head. Samuel, his Christian spirit left by the wayside, verbally attacks Jake and his family. Jake stands up to Asha’s dad (finally) to defend his family, and Asha runs off to do some thinking. It is quite a scene, but nothing compared to what follows. I’ll just say that repentance and forgiveness are front and center, and Asha really steps up to the plate.

Manoj Sood is wonderful as Samuel, the head of the Singh family. I hated his attitudes and his behavior, but somehow couldn’t quite hate him. Okay, I did strongly dislike him. But he manages to convey warmth and love beneath his harshness to his beloved daughter’s fiance. At the end, his remorse and pain at his own behavior was touching and authentic. The actor’s range was truly on display. The whole cast was great, but the detailed multilayered script, packed with many subtle and revealing details, drama, humor, and warmth was the star. And the romance and mature relationship between the two lovers were pretty great as well.