Three Wisest Men

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“Nothing like a trilogy to make people happy.”

It is the Christmas after the last movie and two of the three brothers have not shown much of the hoped for growth and wisdom which we are promised by the end of the second film. But there is some progress! 

The “worst” brother, Taylor (Tyler Hynes), has flourished in his career and is being offered a partnership in a successful tech company in Silicon Valley. But we know by his perpetually pained expression (a Tyler Hynes trademark) while the head honcho is offering him the moon and stars to come on board, that he still has “issues”. Taking the fabulous opportunity would involve moving out of state and out of his mother’s (huge and luxurious) basement.  But there is hope. He is still with new girlfriend Caroline, “the love of his life,” who was such a bright spot and force for good in the second movie. The actress, Erin Kurpluk’s, star has not dimmed in this one.

Stephan (Paul Campbell) and Susie are planning their wedding, but he still lives in his Mom’s guest house in her backyard. This is a magic guest house. It morphs from small and sort of modest to ginormous and luxurious from one scene to another. Unless there are two “guesthouses” in her backyard. This kind of lack of attention to detail that Hallmark is famous for does not have any affect on plot or character but it is very distracting. As is the borderline weird product placement. Stephan’s wedding plans are not going well thanks to his skittish behavior and shilly-shallying over decisions. Also his prospective father-in-law is visiting for Christmas and they do not get along.

 Luke (Andrew Walker), the third brother is just fine, if a little tense, being the fire chief, the father to Thomas, the titular child of the first 2 movies, and husband to his pregnant-with-twins wife. He’s nervous about his impending fatherhood, which a very ranty and unpleasant birth coach in the first scene did not help. She needed to go back to birth-coaching school.

To get the ball rolling, the boys learn their mother Barbara a.k.a. “Gigi” (Margaret Colin) is selling her huge house which not only throws Stephan and Taylor’s living arrangements into disarray but spurs the boys to make this Christmas, their last in the childhood home, “The Best Christmas Ever.” Thus, the lion’s share of the time remaining is devoted to a rather random string of over the top hijinks, shenanigans, and frenzied activity/disasters which added nothing to the actual story (was there one?) and provided all too few chuckles, unfortunately. 

However. There were a few high spots that kept the movie in watchable territory. The well-written dialogue (by Campbell and Sustad) flows smoothly thanks to the rapport of the actors playing the three brothers. Jerry, the talking cockatiel, was pretty funny, and I liked the callbacks to the previous two movies: Mr. B of the Christmas Pageant, Mark Laclark, and Kimberley Sustad’s cameo as the wry local doctor, for 3. Even Fiona (Ali Liebert, yay), Taylor’s girlfriend in the first movie, pops up in a pivotal role. At first I thought they had forgotten about Roy, Gigi’s new boyfriend in the second movie, but his mysterious absence is finally mentioned (I may have missed something) and he returns in a climactic scene. I liked Roy. There is a heartwarming scene or two where Taylor acknowledges his fear of change, and Stephan finally makes it all better with Susie. Best of all, her rude Dad gets told off by a disgusted Gigi very satisfactorily and he is suitably abashed and apologizes. At the end, the trilogy is wrapped up with the two problematic brothers making mature decisions about their future, and Luke welcoming twin daughters to the fold. This ended up being a good wrap up of the trilogy. As Dr. Kimberley Sustad says, “3 is the magic number.” And enough is enough.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

Navigating Christmas

Another Quaint Island Christmas 2 Weeks in a Row.

Although I did like Chelsea Hobbs, there just wasn’t anything particularly outstanding about this one besides the cool setting of the lighthouse in the Pacific Northwest.

 A recently divorced mother who has been wrapped up in her work as an investment banker (or counselor?) for too long finds herself estranged from her teenage son who blames her for the divorce. He is rude, sulky, and of course, wrapped up in his phone and gaming. Enough said. When his Dad cancels a much-anticipated ski trip to be with his “sick” girlfriend, it doesn’t get any better to say the least. Desperate to reconnect and make the disappointment up to him,  Chelsea books about the only still available getaway she can, a lighthouse on Christmas-saturated St. Nicholas Island. When she gets there the lighthouse is sparse and bleak,  not the Cheery Christmas Extravaganza she was led to believe by the pictures. To make matters worse, it turns out she is expected to pay for the privilege of staying there by decorating the place inside and out for the town’s Holiday celebrations, the lighthouse being a stand-in for the all-important town Christmas tree.

The kid’s attitude does not improve until the cute Mayor’s daughter and the grumpy grouchy owner (Stephen Huszar, our love interest,) show up to take the city kid under their wing. In fact, It takes about a minute for the hostile brat to blossom in their presence. It just took one twinkly smile from the sweet pretty girl, and one “Good Job, Man,” from the healthy masculine influence guy and he was transformed into the grateful, smiley, and loving son Chelsea deserved. And not a minute too soon, because the kid was really getting on my nerves. I won’t go into it anymore, because it all procedes according to the Hallmark planogram. That’s all well and fine and expected, but there were just too many nonsensical or irritating aspects that I could deal with without ignoring them.

I can almost understand a savvy successful business person not reading the fine print or doing the research before nailing down a last-minute reservation, but what about afterward in time to cancel?  Stephen’s story did not add up. We learn he has to sell the beloved lighthouse because his Dad, who died 7 years ago, did not pay his taxes or any other bills. Stephen had a fight with his father (who seems to have been a real asshole) and left him and the island, the year before his death. Wracked with guilt, he is just now returning to take care of things and sell up. Actually, has he been gone all this time (or just at Christmas)? What the heck has he been doing for 8 years? And what exactly does he do for a living? I was very unclear.  When he broke with his father he was not an immature emotional kid but a full-grown man who should have been well into some kind of career and on top of things at home. If he has been on the island except for Christmas, why does he need a property manager? Many questions.

The big crisis is when the kid finds out his father’s girlfriend is not “sick”, but “pregnant”.  He steals his girlfriend’s boat to run away,  takes it out to sea, and gets lost. That was just insane. I mean have a tantrum if you must, or run away. But at least stay on dry land and try to avoid committing Grand Theft Boat. Again, he was not 10. He is rescued thanks to the lighthouse. Didn’t want to leave you hanging.   Chelsea comes to the rescue with a plan to save the  Lighthouse from the evil developer, played by reliable Hallmark baddie, Lochlyn Monroe. But everything else is left rather up in the air. This one could have used a “One Year Later.”

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Big Sky River: The Bridal Path

Welcome to the Teenage Years

The first Big Sky River didn’t seem to be a likely candidate for a sequel. Everyone was all sorted out with a pretty seemingly trouble-free straightforward path forward to happily ever after. Especially when a little research revealed that the book this is based on is the third and last one in the series. Now there are a few Hallmarks that would make good fodder for a sequel ( Five Star Christmas and Ghosts of Christmas Always for two) but not this one. But they do manage to eke one out.

And it manages to be quite watchable thanks to the relationship challenges between Boone and Tara and their family dynamics. Also, the kid actors were all great. There is a halfway engaging side story between Tara’s BFF, the country star,  and her former professional partner who is now divorced. Emphasis on the halfway. Most of the drama and conflict come from raging teenage hormones and fragile emotions threatening to break out and run rampant at every turn. So the stakes are pretty low in the scheme of things. “This too shall pass,” and all that, you know. Tara’s stepdaughter Erin starts the ball ruling with an overreaction to her New York-based father’s thoughtless and clumsy remark at the gender reveal party for his due in 6 weeks wife. She is nice, in this one, BTW. He bursts out with joy that he has always wanted a boy which Erin interprets as “he never wanted” her and “doesn’t love” her. Kids! AmIright? On the boy side, Boone’s 11-year-old son is struggling with the upcoming changes to his life now that his Dad is  (finally) engaged to Tara. Not prone to tantrums, unlike Erin, he shuts down and is sad remembering his dead mother and being told they will be moving out of the only home he has ever known. Unfortunately, Dad seems to just want to not deal with his pain and instead of really talking about it and paying attention, just gives lip service. The younger son, by the way, by the way, is an oasis of calm and sense throughout. Sawyer Fraser is a charmer as Fletcher. Both Boone and Tara are also not immune to missteps along “the bridal path.” Boone forgets to pick up the kids while Tara is heavily immersed in parent-teacher conferences. He has to deal with a shutdown interstate but doesn’t even call. He just forgets. Although he apologizes, he really seemed to discount Tara’s distress (much like he discounts his son’s emotions) despite saying all the right words. On Tara’s side, when Boone rightly calls Princess Erin out for screaming at him disrespectfully and for maybe being a teensy bit spoiled, she overreacts giving him the ole “don’t yell at my daughter” routine which leads to a 1 or maybe 2 day break up. (Boone had to haul her friend Dawson in before a judge for breaking the law-don’t worry it’s not that bad).

Boone and Tara maturely heal the breach, and the almost break-up brings the kids to their senses. By the end of the movie, the little family is beginning to look like the Brady Bunch of the West. The reconciliation between Boone and Erin is very satisfying. I’ve never been a particular fan of Kavan Smith, because I prefer romantic heroes to be above average in height. But I do like him much more after his authentic good-humored performance in this one. Near the end, in lines that were obviously written in, his older son remarks to him “that he is almost as tall as you” and his younger son retorts, “That’s not saying much!” Kavan Smith responds laughlingly with an “Ouch!” Good for him.

Rating: 7 out of 9.

Big Sky River

A Parable for Step-Parents.

**spoilers**

This was a low-key pleasant way to pass the time while also serving as a cautionary tale for loving step-parents. There’s not a whole lot of action, but then again it also avoided a lot of tired tent pole scenes and tropes that Hallmark is famous for. This was on Hallmark Murders & Mysteries, and those usually have something a little more to offer than the usual stuff that Hallmark churns out like an assembly line.

Tara is a recent divorcee whose ex-husband wants to distance her from his daughter, her stepdaughter, Erin, so she can bond with his new girlfriend without Tara in the way. Tara and Erin love each other dearly. Of course they do. Tara is the only mother Erin has ever known, and Erin has been Tara’s daughter for 10 of her 13 years. But Tara has no rights now that she is divorced from Erin’s father. This is a sad and scary situation for both of them, but being a mature, reasonable woman Tara respects James’ wishes (not that she has much of a choice) and is leaving for the summer. As a young girl, she spent a vacation at a dude ranch in Parable, Montana with her parents and she has always thought back on that time fondly. No, surprisingly, this is not a Dude ranch story. The dude ranch is now defunct but she is renting a house nearby.  

While in her summer home she takes care of the resident chickens, rides horses, makes friends, and dances, but more importantly meets a handsome next-door neighbor who is also the local sheriff, and his two boys. They form a connection right away, but being parents they are cautious and careful. And, as they both know, Tara will be leaving at the end of the summer. Meanwhile, the ex-husband, Hallmark’s longstanding never-the-romantic-lead-and-also-director Peter Benson, is not having a smooth time with his daughter. She has chased off 4 nannies and the agency won’t send anymore. He basically wants to just get rid of her and she won’t go to camp. He calls Tara and asks her to take Erin for the rest of the summer. Both Tara and Erin are thrilled and Erin happily joins her mom and makes herself at home in Parable.

And that’s about it until the big crisis. I won’t go any further, but it results in Tara finally putting her foot down with James and James caving in immediately. It was the highlight of the movie.  By the end, Tara and Erin will be together in Parable with Tara and Boone pursuing their promising relationship and hopefully forming one big happy family.

I appreciated late 30 and 40-somethings dealing with age-appropriate situations. Too often, Hallmark has had their 40-year-old actors dealing with life situations more common to twenty-somethings. The moral, or parable, if you will, of this story is, that if you’re the loving parent of a stepchild, better go ahead and adopt them. Marriages are not always forever but parenthood is. Don’t lose your rights to your child.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

August 18, 2022

Time for Them to Come Home for Christmas

A Road Trip to Remember

Amnesia stories usually provide rich material for a nice story, and this one is no exception. Jessy Schram, a favorite of mine, plays a young woman who gets dunked in a river after being bumped by a car. We next see her in the local hospital near the Canadian border with amnesia. Her luggage has been lost. The only clue to who she is is an ad for a Christmas Tree lighting in Charleston, SC that she left behind at a local diner. It has a handwritten message on the back saying “Please Come” and signed “Mark”.

“Jane Doe” is an immediate hit at the hospital due to her friendly, spirited, and outgoing nature. Jessy conveys all of that with the underlying vulnerability that she is so good at. She makes a friendly connection with a nice nurse, Paul, who offers to drive her to Charleston as it is on his way to his family’s home. It is almost immediately apparent that Paul is hiding some secret pain as he is very conflicted about going home. Jessy and Brendan are perfectly cast and their performances are spot on. I like that they made Paul a nurse instead of a doctor, thus it made sense when he drives her in an old dilapidated car that conveniently breaks down on the way. A doctor would have flown.

On their road trip, they have a positive impact on all of the people they meet along the way. Including Alison Sweeney in a brief cameo appearance! This is a real thing this year. This is the third movie I have seen in which other Hallmark stars appear briefly in another movie not their own. I think it’s really cool. And very smart given the competition other networks are giving them for the attention of the Christmas movie-viewing public.

The movie keeps you engaged at all times what with the mystery behind Paul’s sadness and conflicted feelings going home and Jessy’s real identity. Jessy starts having flashbacks which hint that she may be married and have a child! Why would she leave a husband and child? Is she a bad person? Is he a bad person? It won’t be a spoiler to reassure you that she is not a bad person and her future lies with the nice and attractive Paul.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

November 29, 2021

The Mechanics of Love

Dude, Run for the Hills!

I’m used to dumb stuff to choose to overlook when I am looking at Hallmark or Hallmark-style movies. But this one takes the cake for the most petulant, stupidest, most incompetent bride ever. With about a week to go before her wedding, Emily Tennant plays the bride who hasn’t done her seating arrangements, hired a caterer, purchased flowers, decided on a cake, or chosen her colors yet. All she does is sit around and whine about how her wedding is “out of control” as far as complications, guest list, and expense. All things she has complete control over. Oh, and she’s an artist, so it’s not like she has an inflexible 48-hour-a-week time-suck of a career.

She viciously turns on her sweet fiance who had the utter gall to give her a fun jokey gift of muffin tins for a surprise extra gift for getting their marriage license. She sulks for days over this and almost cancels the wedding. She is petulant and unreasonable over everything. She selfishly and thoughtlessly disappears on her wedding day throwing her family and her fiance into a panic just so she can sulk some more.

Luckily, the engaged couple was not the main couple. The main lead, her sister, Shenae Grimes, arrives to save the day and while she is back home, dump her bad boyfriend, quit her engineering career as the head of design to become an auto-mechanic, and find a new boyfriend. Tyler Hines is as reliable and attractive as the new guy who has loved her since middle school.

The only thing I loved about this disaster was the bride’s headdress which was gorgeous and very unusual. Yes, unfortunately for the groom, the wedding took place.

Rating: 4 out of 10.

June 28, 2020