The Christmas Charade

Charade…A Nod to a Classic Caper Flick?

Whitney is an elementary school librarian who has always been wrapped in a cocoon of safety by her parents who own a home security firm. Reading a Christmas story to the kids, she concludes with a lecture on the dangers of using incandescent bulbs on a Christmas tree. The kids look at her quizzically. Rachel Skarsten is as appealing as heck in this role. She is single of course, and doesn’t use an online dating app because, you know, Murderers! And she has the stats to back it up. Plus, she is timid and shy, though one senses she wants to break out of her shell.

While on a blind date set up by a trusted friend, she sits down in front of the wrong guy in a green sweater and gets roped into an FBI sting operation. Corey Sevier is Josh, the FBI agent who does not act at all like a blind date should. When she is put in the picture she plays along and gets invited to help plan a Christmas Ball by the FBI target’s girlfriend. The very party that Josh needs to get into to trap his man! Unable to extricate herself without endangering the operation, Whitney agrees to be a part of the sting,  much to Josh’s consternation and objections. Josh is a surly lone wolf type who grew up in foster care, does not have a family, and is not a Christmas fan. “It’s just another day to me”. Cue montage of Josh “training” Whitney in basic FBI survival skills. Since Whitney learned how to defend herself at an early age thanks to her parents, during the martial arts tutorial she whips Josh’s butt. Whitney starts to enjoy herself. In fact, throughout the movie, Whitney proves to be much better at Josh’s job than Josh is. He is played by Corey Sevier, who is as good in his role as Rachel is in hers.  The chemistry between the two was terrific, as it has to be between the two leads in a caper movie. Or was this a parody of a caper movie? When I think about it, I’m going to go with parody. Nothing concerning their mission is grounded in reality and they are laughably inept at everything they do to catch the bad guys. But they never get caught out because the bad guys are even more inept. This theory also covers some inexplicable plot holes that I would have to blame someone for. It was helmed by the directing and writing team of  Corey, who is a favorite of mine, and his writing partner and real-life wife, Kate Pragnell.  What was with that Tango scene that dropped into the movie out of nowhere? And the magic rope that formed a loop in midair? The script was cute and clever. At one point when Whitney and Josh are crawling through the ventilation system, Whitney quotes from Die Hard, “the best Christmas movie ever.” Yes, they went there.

The one strike against this movie, for me, was Whitney’s parents. They made me feel very stabby, especially her controlling father, who smothered her with over-protectiveness for most of the movie. I don’t want to spoil anything (this time) but in a very funny twist at the end, their whole schtick led to the best scene in the movie. All was forgiven by me, (but not Whitney.) That is, until the inevitable reconciliation scene which concludes the story. Of course we also have the kiss at the very end when Whitney and Josh decide to be girlfriend and boyfriend for reals.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

Christmas at Cartwrights

Cute!

This was a very cute movie starring the talented Alicia Witt playing a down-on-her-luck single mom who is “magicked” into being the store Santa Claus by an angel disguised as a visiting corporate bigwig. Nicki is perfect for the role even though no one knows she is a woman in her Santa suit and stuffing. The kids and parents love her because she seems to know exactly what they need for Christmas as well as being just a warm nurturing person. Store sales boom. She attracts the attention of a department manager who thinks she is just a regular store employee. They are attracted to each other right away, but Nicki is reluctant to tell him she is his Store Santa Claus. The lie becomes a source of tension and suspense.

Wallace Shawn is simply wonderful as the Angel who guides Nicki and thwarts Fiona, who plays the jealous villainess, at every turn. Gabrielle Miller is funny as always playing an officious humorless snob. She suspects something is strange about the new store Santa and isn’t too fond of Nicki either. She is determined to get her fired and away from the guy she has been flirting with and starts investigating the too-good-to-be true Santa. When she starts to make the connection we know she will stop at nothing even though the store owner is thrilled with Santa and his popularity. We never really fear for Nicki, because, after all, God is on her side. So we just sit back and enjoy Fiona’s machinations knowing her comeuppance is on the way.

The only fly in the ointment is Gabriel Hogan who plays the love interest. I found him bland and uninteresting without a noticeable spark with the inimitable Ms Witt. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie starring her that I did not like.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

November 29, 2021

Christmas Unleashed

Even Vanessa, Nana, and a Cute dog Couldn’t save this One

Other than the charming Vanessa Lachey and a cute doggie, this entry in the Hallmark sweepstakes has nothing much else to recommend it. Big City girl comes home to her small town for Christmas with her beloved pooch that she kind of co-owned with her hunky ex-boyfriend. The boyfriend is the local vet, who also owns a mountaintop property which is also a rescue facility. He is also wealthy due to his invention of a revolutionary wheelchair for dogs. My God, this guy is fictionally perfect. Christopher Russell plays the boyfriend and he is so handsome he looks like he stepped out of the pages of a Vanity Fair Men’s Cologne ad. Unfortunately, his mesmerizing looks are not matched by his acting talent. His expression never changes. The only thing I see behind his eyes is bemusement. “Where am I? What am I doing?” At least in this effort. I’ve seen him really shine.

The story is boring and repetitive as the dog leads the two to place after place that were milestones in their courtship in an effort to reunite them. Also cheering for the happy reunion is the vet’s annoying mother (let’s follow them!) and Vanessa’s Nana. Nana is the only other bright spot in this effort. I love the actress who plays her. She never fails to impress.

Rating: 5 out of 10.

December 10, 2019

Last Chance for Christmas

Tony Soprano of the North Pole

I don’t like Santa Claus movies in general, but this one was a winner. Hilarie Burton was particularly appealing and sympathetic as the feisty no nonsense Annie who is eventually won over by the shy, fish-out-of- water stable-master, John. Jayne Eastwood as Mrs. Claus, was a hoot. Clearly the brains of the operation, She was the ruthless mob boss, willing to send her minions to steal a little girl’s pet reindeer so millions of little children aren’t disappointed on Christmas morning. Yes kids, sometimes the end does justify the means. Lots of laughs, a poor single mother trying to save her farm from evil big business, a sweet little romance. and some charming fantasy. Overlook the forced conflict between the two lovebirds, and the questionable ethical issues, and you’ll have a good time with this one. **9 out of 10 stars**

Rating: 9 out of 10.

December 20, 2015