Cut, Color, Murder

Dye, Die, Don’t Bother

I don’t have a bad word to say about the actors in this new Hallmark mystery series. Gonzalo and McPartlin were just fine, and they had a good rapport. But boy oh boy was it dumb. This is a new entry in Hallmark’s spunky female amateur detective line. They usually run their own “womanly” business so they can take off whenever one of their acquaintances or customers gets murdered in order to catch the killer. We have flower shops, bookstores, antique stores, and bakeries. We also have matchmakers(!?), wedding photographers, crossword puzzle editors, and podcast hosts. Strangely, in two of my favorites, Aurora Teagarden and Mystery 101, the spunky female amateur detectives actually have mainstream professions. With the arrival of Cut, Color, Murder, we now have beauty shop owner. What took them so long?

In this one, Julie is taking her talents to the world of beauty pageants in which her younger sister is a participant and she is doing hair. The bitchy showrunner gets murdered and there are plenty of suspects because she was evil to absolutely everyone. Julie is the widow of a policeman who was killed in the line of duty (or was it unsolved cold-blooded murder?). So she has ties to the police department primarily through the chief of police who she has wrapped around her little finger. Enter new guy, Ryan McPartlin, a handsome hotshot detective with whom she butts heads because he is a professional. After Julie meets an anonymous text-messager alone in a spooky abandoned house at night because he/she has info about her husband, it was remote throwing time. Except I had to find it first because I had already throw

n it after all the laws she broke and chain of evidence procedures ignored in the meantime.  She is rescued from certain death by Ryan and let’s just say this show leaves no cliche unincluded.

We know this is a series because after the mystery is solved we have a bit of a cliffhanger while Julie is having a pow-wow with her dead husband at the cemetery because she has decided to move on (is that something you just decide to do?) and wants to give him a heads up ( I guess?). We know that there is going to be an over-arching mystery of her trying to solve her husband’s murder and getting into all kinds of trouble. Not a spoiler, because I’m not psychic, but I predict that the murderer of her husband turns out to be the indulgent good-guy/father-figure/police chief in an unknown number of episodes hence.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

February 9, 2022

Don’t Forget I Love You

Very Smiley

This was very nice, pleasant, and boring. We meet our heroine, Emilie Ullerup, listening to daily affirmations with her earbuds as she is getting ready for work, going to work, and arriving at work. Already, I’m disconnected and struggling to stay awake. The lady’s voice is very soothing. Emilie is the head of her own company which specializes in neatening and organizing peoples’ spaces.

Despite her roots showing, we get that our heroine leads a sterile life that is very planned out with no surprises or spontaneity.

On her 30th birthday, she visits her father who has a time capsule from her dead mother. It contains 5 beautifully calligraphed challenges for her daughter to accomplish to enrich her boring dull life. Even though she seems perfectly happy and very cheerful. The first one is “Meet Someone New”. The last one is “Tell Someone You Love Them” (presumably someone not a relative, single, and of the opposite sex). So we know that her mother has reached out from the grave to get her workaholic daughter A Man. But we don’t know that yet because the last edict is not revealed until the end. LOL.

She meets her super cute neighbor, a single dad (widowed) who is a bit of a slob and has just moved into the neighborhood. He is the target and he will not escape. She helps him unpack his boxes and it’s on. They do the rest of the challenges together. The only hiccup is another predatory female who also has her eyes on him. Who is gorgeous and nice, by the way.

We’ve seen this all before but Emilie and Clayton James (formerly Clayton Chitty), who plays The Man, bring nothing to the show, although Emile tries very hard to be super cute and endearing. A little too hard. Clayton is very cute, like I said, but doesn’t move the needle as far as personality. The whole shebang is about as contrived as the photo of the mountain scene that is propped up behind them during one of their last “adventures.” It just goes through the motions but without even a fan to ruffle the hair.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

January 24, 2022