Brendon Zub

Sugarplummed

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A Very Meta Christmas

Hallmark making fun of itself in their own movies seems to be a bit of a thing lately. They take all of the usual Romantic Comedy ingredients, fold in all of the cliches and tropes that are exclusive to Hallmark itself, and fill up a movie with them. If I was a cynic, I would be  a little suspicious that it’s an excuse to get another Christmas movie in the tank without having to think of an original plot. And they can still say, “ Hey, aren’t we clever? See how we are laughing at ourselves!? Our movies are filled with cliches but that’s OK!”  I thought this was the way this one was going and I felt the tedium coming on, but then it took a turn.  And I started to really enjoy it.

 We meet lawyer Emily (Maggie Lawson), her architect husband (Brendon Zub-love him) and her two teenage children. Although the family love each other, we see there are troubles a brewin’ . Emily is over-organized and tightly wound. She is determined to give her family “the perfect Christmas” (or else) so they can reconnect and become closer together the way it used to be. We see her husband is overworked by his bully of a boss who has been making his and all of his coworkers miserable since his divorce. “It’s like I’m working for Scrooge, but instead of 3 fun ghosts, he’s just haunted by regret.” Their son is struggling in a new school and feels like an outsider. Emily’s relationship with her daughter though is the most troubled. Nina has dreams of being a singer and going away to a performing arts school. Emily discounts her dream and insists she go to the university close to home and study for a more practical career.

Emily gets to the office and and her assistant is watching the famous  and beloved series of Sugarplum Christmas movies. Sugarplum saves a bakery, Sugarplum meets a secret holiday Prince, etc. They have a long conversation over the rules of Christmas movies, as seen on the “Harmony Home Network”, where following these rules will always result in a perfect Christmas for the cast of characters. Later that evening, Emily wishes on one of her mother’s old ornaments, a Christmas star, for the perfect Christmas to make her family happy and create special memories like her mother did for her. Christmas Magic happens and Sugarplum herself appears, a little discombobulated over being sucked out of her perfect Christmas movie world and into the real one, where she assumes things will work just as smoothly as she is used to. And at first, it does! Everything goes according to the rules in her very thick Christmas rule book (which she pulls out of her bottomless purse where all of her fashionable coats and matching accessories also live.)

**Spoilers**

She replaces the artificial tree with the perfect real one, which she cuts down herself from Emily’s grinchy neighbor’s yard. She uses a magic snow globe to cause a snowfall inside the son’s school which proves very popular with the students and helps him bond with his classmates. She solves a dispute between one of Emily’s clients, the owner of an old ski lodge/Christmas tree farm and a developer who wants to knock it down and put up a resort. Sugarplum takes one look at the couple (played by Fiona Gubelman and Victor Webster, Hallmark regulars in amusing cameo performances) and knows they are destined to fall in love and come to a compromise solution on their own. And they do! Right before our eyes! Lots of other stuff happens, and Emily is well on her way to her “perfect” Christmas. Except her family is still disconnected and stressed out.

But then things start to go awry for poor Sugarplum and Emily. Sugarplum meets a handsome man by an elevator (another cameo-this time by Carlo Marks) and romance beckons, as it does when elevators are involved in Rom-Coms. Until he serves her with a summons for criminal trespass (the Christmas tree incident). The rapprochement between Emily’s  client and the developer turns out to be nothing but a ruse to get her to sell her land to him. And finally, Sugarplum is thrown in jail for starting the snowstorm and snow ball fight in the school lobby and causing damage to government property. Also, the police are very suspicious because “Sue Garplum” doesn’t exist according to the internet and she might be a terrorist(?) because her fingerprints all look like snowflakes. Apparently Sugarplum’s Christmas magic is fading due to all of the heavy lifting needed bringing magic to the real world. It’s just getting worn out. Can anything revive it? Hmmm. I wonder. Maybe Emily learning the true spirit of Christmas? In the meantime, it’s a good thing she is a lawyer.

After a slow start, this turned out to be one of the most entertaining, funny, and clever of  2024’s Christmas movies. At first, Janel Parrish as Sugarplum seemed too over the top cheerful and perky. She was getting on my nerves and I was getting antsy. Emily’s blindness to what would truly make a warm and wonderful family Christmas was frustrating. She confides that her favorite childhood memory with her late mother was the Christmas all of their presents were stolen, the tree caught on fire, and they ended up spending Christmas day in a motel. But it was great because they were together! She won’t listen to her own words! Her assistant, seeing Emily’s holiday stress, advises her to quit chasing perfection and live in the moment.  Emily cynically tells her she sounds like a Christmas movie and discounts that advice, which turns out to be the lesson of the whole movie. But then things got great.  I think it all turned around for me when Emily, fully invested in Sugarplum’s magic, makes gingerbread cookies even though she doesn’t have any ginger. But that doesn’t matter because in Christmas movies all cookies are delicious and perfect even if they don’t have all the ingredients! “I didn’t have any ginger so I just threw in a whole bottle of gin!”,  she boasts. Luckily, Sugarplum “couldn’t drink another bite.” because last thing we need is a drunk Sugarplum.

Being a Hallmark movie, Emily finally gets the message, the faded magic returns, and everything comes together for her and her loved ones in all phases of their lives. But it’s all about the journey to the inevitable happy ending, isn’t it? For Emily’s family, all is resolved very poignantly at the school Christmas Pageant starring Emily’s singing daughter.  But there’s more! The final scenes back home, with some unexpected visitors, were funny, surprising, and are what really tied the bow on top of this almost perfect gift of a movie.  Right down to the kiss under the mistletoe.

All of the actors in this did well but Maggie Lawson and Brendan Zub were perfectly cast and I was glad to see them again as Hallmark leads after such a long time. Kyra Leroux was also as stand out as Emily’s rightly resentful and talented daughter. The imperfections in her singing at the beginning turned out to be perfect in the end, reflecting the moral of the story. This movie was a solid 8 1/2 or 9 but those last scenes were just so fun.

Rating: 10 out of 10.

Dating the Delaneys

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Very Punny

The dating adventures of three generations of Delaney women make for great entertainment. It’s a treat when Hallmark’s romantic comedies are actually romantic and actually funny. And this one has a nice message as well. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, but it’s better when you discover you don’t need one.” The main focus is on Rachel Boston with her daughter as a side story. Widowed Grandma is already happily dating a nice pickleball enthusiast when the story begins. Rachel, as bakery owner Maggie, also has a son whose function is to demonstrate what a terrible father her ex-husband is. Brendan Zub added some edge to the thankless role. Maggie is friendly with a widower, played by the talented and funny Paul Campbell, whom she sits next to at her boy’s high school basketball games. They discuss how hard it is to get used to dating after many many years of marriage. One thing leads to another and they decide to “pretend” to date for “practice”. LOL. These two kids have obviously never seen a Hallmark movie or any romantic comedy of any kind.

There was so much to like about this one. First of all Rachel Boston was really good in this, and her rapport with Paul Campbell was easy and sweet and, in my view, much more successful than an earlier pairing. She makes a great mother. She should play one more often. In fact, the whole family dynamic was a big plus, adding humor and warmth as well as a bit of drama.

The disastrous blind dates were genuinely funny. When Maggie’s rude pig of a dinner date gets up for the restroom the waiter zooms in to tell her to just leave while she has the chance. ”Blind Date, right? How did you know? The whole restaurant knows!” She looks around and everyone is nodding at her. I actually laughed out loud. Besides the funny situations, the banter was fun as well. Her likable and savvy assistant can’t believe Maggie is not using a dating app. “You went on a blind date? What in the 1986 is that?” I loved the family’s love of corny puns. It was cute and quirky but also served to show how important a shared sense of humor is in a relationship.  Both of the Delaney women are as clueless as their hopeful suitors are smitten.  The daughter’s slow realization that the dorky Josh Groban lookalike is the one for her rather than the popular loser she has a crush on is just as sweet and engaging as the grown-up romance. Other than the terrible puns that just won’t quit, this one shone in every way. But I love terrible puns, so it’s a 10.

Rating: 9.5 out of 10.

Cut, Color, Murder

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Dye, Die, Don’t Bother

I don’t have a bad word to say about the actors in this new Hallmark mystery series. Gonzalo and McPartlin were just fine, and they had a good rapport. But boy oh boy was it dumb. This is a new entry in Hallmark’s spunky female amateur detective line. They usually run their own “womanly” business so they can take off whenever one of their acquaintances or customers gets murdered in order to catch the killer. We have flower shops, bookstores, antique stores, and bakeries. We also have matchmakers(!?), wedding photographers, crossword puzzle editors, and podcast hosts. Strangely, in two of my favorites, Aurora Teagarden and Mystery 101, the spunky female amateur detectives actually have mainstream professions. With the arrival of Cut, Color, Murder, we now have a beauty shop owner. What took them so long?

In this one, Julie is taking her talents to the world of beauty pageants in which her younger sister is a participant and she is doing hair. The bitchy showrunner gets murdered and there are plenty of suspects because she was evil to absolutely everyone. Julie is the widow of a policeman who was killed in the line of duty (or was it an unsolved cold-blooded murder?). So she has ties to the police department primarily through the chief of police who she has wrapped around her little finger. Enter new guy, Ryan McPartlin, a handsome hotshot detective with whom she butts heads because he is a professional. After Julie meets an anonymous text messager alone in a spooky abandoned house at night because he/she has info about her husband, it was remote throwing time. Except I had to find it first because I had already thrown it after all the laws she broke and chain of evidence procedures ignored in the meantime.  She is rescued from certain death by Ryan and let’s just say this show leaves no cliche unincluded.

We know this is a series because after the mystery is solved we have a bit of a cliffhanger while Julie is having a pow-wow with her dead husband at the cemetery because she has decided to move on (is that something you just decide to do?) and wants to give him a heads up ( I guess?). We know that there is going to be an over-arching mystery of her trying to solve her husband’s murder and getting into all kinds of trouble. Not a spoiler, because I’m not psychic, but I predict that the murderer of her husband turns out to be the indulgent good-guy/father-figure/police chief in an unknown number of episodes hence.

Rating: 5 out of 10.

February 9, 2022

Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater

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It Wasn’t Bad, But Nothing Out of the Ordinary

I’m a fan of both Ashley and Niall. They both bring credibility to any project they are in. However, lately, Ashley has apparently heard or read once too often about her own famous megawatt smile. Some of her scenes have a definite “insert smile here” feel. This was well made and Hallmark pulled out their A-Game for two of their most popular stars. They put a little more work into the plot, this time. Not one of their cookie-cutter jobs, although they couldn’t resist the usual flirty snowball fight. However, truth be told, the story was a little boring, and Ashley’s character was a little too sweet and good. Sometimes her behavior with grumpy-pants Niall was kind of cringeworthy. She just would not leave him alone. For me, it did not rise past the slightly above-average rating. Kudos for having her ex-husband and his wife make appearances and her daughter was very appealing. Oh, and I do like Brendon Zub. He needs more starring roles. Oh Oh. The search for the out-of-print book was true to life and exactly right. Loved that.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

November 9, 2020

Hearts of Winter

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Ho Hum Hallmark Elevated by the Cast and their Chemistry

The story and the writing are weak, although the interior decorating and shopping bits were mildly diverting. However thanks to the talented cast and the easy chemistry among all the actors, this one earns an 8 from me. Jill Wagner is a very good actress and she and Victor Webster make a great well-matched couple. Victor’s character Grant started out whiny and ungrateful, but he got over it fairly quickly. Lauren McNamara who played Grant’s daughter was also top-notch and has been in several other Hallmark movies. She gets the plot rolling by winning a free house makeover from Bethany, an up-and-coming Interior Designer. Brendan Zub has impressed me in other productions, but was under-used as Jill’s sensible and supportive brother. I would like to see him as the lead again in further Hallmark movies. Last and certainly not least is the cute and charismatic Rukiya Bernard, Jill’s friend and partner, who brightens every production she is in. Alas, still in the best friend role and not as the lead. Come on Hallmark! Give her a role worthy of her before she gets away. One thing I really liked about this romance is that it didn’t end with the deal-sealing smooch, like they all do, but went on to add a little postscript by having the cast wrap things up back at the redecorated home.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

January 26, 2020

Hearts of Christmas

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Mis-Matched

This was a decent Hallmark script-wise and acting-wise. And it certainly was a tearjerker due to a surprise reveal at the end. But it suffered from a couple of things. First off, the character Emilie Ullerup played, Jenny, a neonatal intensive care nurse, was naïve and closed-minded. That alone would have made her unsympathetic, but unfortunately, her “nemesis” the CFO whose job it was to keep the hospital from failing by cutting expenses and laying off a few senior employees, including her mentor, Alice, was played by Kristopher Polaha. He is possibly one of the most admired and loved of the Hallmark male leads. He is very attractive and sexy as well as conveying strength and gentleness. Those eyes! That voice! Yes, I’m a fan. If the character he played wasn’t quite so likable, reasonable, and so obviously a good guy, It would have made Jenny’s belligerent behavior more relatable and sympathetic.

I also had a problem with the CFO of the hospital romancing a nurse. He is in a position of power over her. She is for all intents and purposes, his employee. He is firing people and deciding whose departments get their expenses cut. It was inappropriate and dangerous for both their careers and reputations. It would have taken one jealous colleague of either of them to cry “favoritism!” to make a whole lot of trouble. What if they got seriously involved and it didn’t go well? Once she jumps into his arms in full view of the whole hospital in the end, she has sealed her fate as far as working with him at the same beloved hospital. So not such a happy ending for one of them. Probably her.

I just don’t know what he saw in her. She was cute looking, but she came across as a spoiled teenager to his mature successful bachelor who could have had his pick of beautiful exceptional women. Why was he even single in the first place?

Trying to end on a positive note, what a treat to see some actors who are now Hallmark regulars in bit parts: Kimberley Sustad as Matt’s sister, and Brendan Zub and Chris McNally as two worried fathers. Of course, Sharon Lawrence as Alice, the focus of all of the angst, was wonderful as always. And speaking of Alice, what was up with Jenny and her cohorts diverting all Alice’s personal Christmas cards to the point she thought she’d been forgotten by all of her old patients? It was for a good cause, I guess, but not very nice in the moment. Nope. Did not care for Nurse Jenny.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

July 6, 2021

A Twist of Christmas

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I Want More Vanessa Lachey

Vanessa was a shining star in this one. She was funny and appealing. And those dimples! Her chemistry with the hero, who had a little bit of edginess to him, was really good. He was a bit of a jerk at first, which added to the dynamic between them because she was not intimidated. Good solid plot and writing. If this is an example of Vanessa Lachey’s talents, I hope she becomes a regular for Hallmark or Lifetime. Whatever. Time to put some of the old warhorses out to pasture. Ooh. that was mean. But no names.

Rating: 9 out of 10.

December 9, 2018

A December Bride

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Poorly Cast

I am amazed at all of the glowing reviews for this movie and Jessica Lowndes in her role as the “December Bride”. I had seen it before, and apparently didn’t hate it, but upon catching a few minutes of it here and there last night, I just have to articulate my frustration. Jessica Lowndes is gorgeous, glamorous, and stunning. This role, as a jilted, hurt, insecure young lady, needed a more Sandra Bullock type rather than a Scarlet Johannson or Angelina Jolie type. It needed someone we could feel sorry for and relate to. It needed an actress with some comic timing, not a line reader. Her acting was the worse I have ever seen in a Hallmark movie. She did not inhabit her part, I was just listening to an actress read her script with some expression. I am sure I will get nothing but “not helpful” votes for this. but I just had to get it off my chest.

In fact, I just looked up her resume and she has been in only one other Hallmark movie, Merry Matrimony. Same comments on her acting there, so now I know I am not crazy. Daniel Lissing was quite good, and she was probably the beneficiary of his reflected glory in this one.**6 stars out of 10**

Rating: 6 out of 10.

November 15, 2017