Travelogue

Catch of the Day

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Doesn’t Flounder

**Spoilers Ahoy**

My reaction to this one is similar to last week’s premiere. That is, nothing to write home about, but likable and an easy watch. It managed to avoid the most irritating tropes including the last minute “misunderstanding due to miscommunication”. It hit enough of the usual Hallmark beats to give off that nostalgic comfortable feel. And it lacked anything super annoying, barring Evelyn, the truly awful and mean boss of our heroine, that is. But those over the top meanies can be a good thing if dealt with correctly by the end. I spent half the movie in suspense hoping for a massive telling off/”serves you right!” scenario. I was thinking this movie will rise or fall on what happens with Evelyn. It wasn’t quite the bolt of lightning moment I was hoping for, but it was good enough and at least the big showdown was face to face.

Sophie is a talented chef working at an elite fine dining restaurant in New York City. She is promoted to head sous chef and is one step closer to her dream of being an executive chef. Inconveniently, she receives a call from her sister who is struggling to run the family seafood restaurant in Montauk Long Island. She needs her help to get ready for the make or break July 4th celebration. The restaurant is dying a not-so-slow death, and to make things worse, it just got a bad review from a local influencer who bemoans how far this former Montauk institution has fallen since the death of their father. If Sophie can’t help, they will have to sell, which would make her mother very unhappy. Evelyn reluctantly gives Sophie 10 days off instead of the 3 weeks she asked for on the condition that Sophie prepares an impressive meal for some investors she will be entertaining there in her mansion on Montauk. Evelyn is the typical Hallmark Bad Boss: harsh, unappreciative, entitled, and unreasonable. In case we missed her role in the movie, when Sophie makes a command appearance at her vacation home but with her two nieces in tow and asks for some water for the little girls, Evelyn reacts like they are asking for pints of blood. Her own blood.

Sophie is scandalized when she gets to her family’s restaurant. She rarely visits since she doesn’t get any time off. The decor is tired, there are no customers, and horrors, they are using frozen fish instead of fresh when they are in one of the salt water fishing capitals of the world. Her sister, who doesn’t even like to cook, is financially and emotionally stressed, and even though Sophie is right in her criticisms, you can’t help but feel for both of them. I liked that there were no villains or idiots here. When the sisters said something hurtful to each other or had a disagreement, it was not silly but understandable and they both acted like adults and apologized in a timely manner. And that also goes for Sophie and Cam, the love interest. Sophie decides to shut the place down temporarily and have a grand re-opening on July 4. Whether they sell up or keep on going will depend on that crucial day.

When Sophie goes down to the docks to score some fresh fish, she runs into an old beau who gave her the cold shoulder in highschool, who runs his Dad’s fishing business. They re-fall in love over dinners, field trips, and walks on the beach which serve to showcase the beauty and appeal of Montauk. They seem to have plenty of time on their hands to re-kindle the romance even though she only has less than a week and a half to whip the old restaurant back into shape including a new menu, hiring a manager, establishing a social media presence, and re-decorating. Not to mention planning and preparing a stellar Michelin star level feast for Evelyn’s investors. This is standard operating procedure for Hallmark heroes and heroines when faced with a life altering impossible-to-meet deadline. Thankfully, I no longer get stressed out over the main couple’s poor time management skills and lack of urgency. I just go with it, trusting in Hallmark magic to avoid failure and disaster. At least Sophie comments on how much she has to do and looks stressed from time to time. Needless to say, as we see how wonderful her life could be at home in Montauk it becomes obvious to everyone but Sophie where her happy and fulfilling future lies. Especially contrasted with Evelyn’s unpleasantness and abuse. 

Like last week’s movie, this one was filmed partially in the United States (what’s going on?), but it ups the ante by being filmed right there in Montauk and environs. The show runners took full advantage, and I wish I could go there. Michael Rady, who played Fisherman Cam, and Emilie Ullerup, who played Sophie were a good match. The relationship was built realistically.  Sophie’s overhaul of her family restaurant wasn’t entirely smooth sailing (providing some humor), and the romance with Cam wasn’t either.  It took a while for Sophie to see how happy her future could be running her family restaurant compared with what her life would be continuing to work for Evelyn. Thanks to her heroics planning the meal for Evelyn’s investors, including overcoming disasters not of her making, Evelyn finally realizes Sophie’s worth and offers her the executive chef position at her new restaurant…in Las Vegas. In case it wasn’t obvious what Sophie would ultimately do, that revelation pretty much sealed the deal. Sophie herself doesn’t get it until on the helipad with Evelyn on the way out of Montauk. The confrontation scene was OK even though there was no screaming involved and they both acted like mature adults. Sophie even got back in time to enjoy the 4th of July fireworks with her family and her man.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

A Machu Picchu Proposal

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Which does not take place on Machu Picchu

This is the last of the Passport to Love series before we once again experience Christmas in July at Hallmark next week. Time flies. Dan and Katie are twins and throughout the movie they throw out terms like Twin-Tuition, Twin Talk Time, Sacred Circle of Truth, and put their fists on their hearts as a gesture of solidarity. So that was annoying. They also are alike in that they both have been raised to believe that planning and organization are the keys to a happy successful life. Spontaneity and impulsiveness make them very uncomfortable. No prizes for guessing the kind of people they end up with by the end of the movie.

Dan, who does something with cutting edge technology,  is going to Peru to visit his girlfriend and meet her family before proposing to her at Machu Picchu. That’s the plan, anyway. Katie is a high school Home Economics teacher. That gave me pause. I didn’t know that they even still taught “Cooking and Sewing” in highschool. And that is Katie’s own description of her field. Dan finds her in her classroom testing out Bolognese sauce during the summer break in preparation for her fall classes. He wants Katie to help plan the proposal which must be amazing and spectacular and because she speaks Spanish and he doesn’t. Even though this is a spur of the moment invitation which is just the kind of thing that Katie dislikes, he guilts her into going with him. Something about her weighing one more pound than him when they were born. And off they go.

When Dan and Luciana, his girlfriend, meet up in her hometown, they find that she has surprisingly (yep) invited an old friend from school, Carlos, to hang with them. Carlos, like Luciana, is easygoing, a free spirit, and prone to spur of the moment changing of plans. And, true to form, by virtue of his ability to make friends everywhere, Carlos has without consultation committed the four to a “behind the scenes” VIP tour of Machu Picchu for that very day. Poor Dan! Poor Katie! They are not happy about having to cancel their meticulously planned out visit/marriage proposal that was to take place on Thursday, after Dan has met Luciana’s family and asked her father permission to ask for her hand. Luciana, however, is thrilled with the new plan, and Dan and Katie’s concerns (they have already bought the tickets) are waved away. They go to the ancient lost city, Dan gets altitude sickness, Katie can’t work the camera, and the proposal is thwarted. And so it goes.

That proposal did not work out and neither do the subsequent attempts at other tourist destinations in the area. The brother and sister blame Carlos for these failures, but it is mostly their own fault. Dan gets drunk, gets a rash from an alpaca poncho, drinks a glass full of a milk-based Peruvian drink when he is allergic to dairy, and they lose the engagement ring while making chocolate. In addition to the cocoa bean tutorial, the viewer is treated to all kinds of interesting activities and some great scenery. In no particular order, we visit the Mara salt mines and learn about that, the city of Cuzco, the Sacred Valley, learn about Rainbow Mountain, visit Pisac, the spiritual center of Peru, visit an alpaca farm, make empanadas, and eat all kinds of other local delicacies, including bugs. Katie and Dan decide that they must keep the proposal a secret from impetuous unpredictable Carlos and that the occasion must be photographed with Dan’s state of the art 360 degree live-streaming camera. The upshot is that by the almost end of the movie Luciana is still unproposed to but Katie and Carlos have formed a romantic attachment. Katie has learned to be more spontaneous which leads her to set up the perfect proposal for her brother so, thank God, Luciana gets asked for her hand in marriage. But NOT at Machu Picchu!  And, even though Dan has been kind of a drag throughout the movie (including an ugly and senseless argument with Katie), for some reason, she accepts. Honestly, I fear for the relationships of both couples, once they return to Chicago. Katie learns to appreciate spontaneity, but Carlos doesn’t change a bit. Luciana and Carlos have more in common. They even visit romantic Rainbow Mountain together without their ostensible love interests! I was amazed why neither Katie nor Dan seemed to be at all threatened by their relationship. Which was very mature of them. I guess?

Usually, Rhiannon Fish really leans into a “wide-eyed dorkily hapless” schtick with her acting style. This movie is no exception, though she does tone it down just a bit in this one. Alex Santos, who plays Carlos, is very cute and charming. But apparently my unease over his relationship with Rhiannon will prove justified. He will already have moved on next week as the love interest of Natalie Hall in the first of the July Christmas movies. Glad to see him again so soon, however unfortunately timed, Hallmark.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Villa Amore

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Fixer Upper

Some years ago there was a movie called Under the Tuscan Sun with Diane Lane, Lindsay Duncan, and Sandra Oh, which I very much enjoyed. It, like this one, is about a woman disappointed and hurt by love who goes to rural Italy to recover, and ends up impetuously buying a small villa and restoring it to its former glory. In both movies, they slowly but surely become part of their communities, and there is romance, old people, and a pregnancy of a side character (sorry Sandra Oh, you stole the show. No offence intended) to deal with. Everything is set against the difficult but ultimately rewarding restoration of the old home. Of course, there are many differences, but this review is not a “Compare and Contrast” essay question so I will stop there. I’m just saying, if you enjoyed the quiet pace and captivating atmosphere of the older movie, you will probably like this one, if you like to watch Hallmarks.

Liara’s fiancé dumps her in the final stages of preparing for their wedding. They were going to go to Italy for their honeymoon because that is where her mother and late father met. Her mother convinces her to go on her honeymoon by herself and encourages her to try to visit the little town where she and Liara’s father fell in love. There was a pretty villa there that he had promised to buy for her one day. Bless their hearts. Young Love. Liara takes her mother’s advice and we have some beautiful shots of Rome. It hasn’t changed a bit. She meets a handsome American with dual citizenship (Kevin McGarry) helping his cousin in his bakery and she is surprised that his Nonna lives in the same little village that her mother visited. On a whim she decides to go there and sees advertisements for a group of old Italian villas that are on sale for 1 euro each. And what do you know but there is the same villa that her parents had always had a photograph of in a place of honor among them! She decides to buy it as a symbolic gesture for her Mom to fulfil her youthful dream. It’s only 1 euro, right? What could go wrong? Snicker. At some point she will re-sell it at her leisure since she doesn’t plan on living there. She is going back to Chicago tomorrow. What an idiot. As Leo, the handsome American, points out, she didn’t read the fine print. Or think this through at all. It turns out that she signed off on investing in completely renovating the building and she only has 3 months to complete it as she is an American and her visa will expire in 90 days. If she doesn’t follow through, she will be persona non grata throughout Europe.

90 days may not seem much time for restoring a dilapidated falling apart estate in a foreign country in real life, but it is an eon in Hallmark time. A similar daunting project was completed in Hallmark’s Tis the Season to be Irish in under two weeks. (Seemingly.) I really liked the relatively slower pace of this one. The restoration, the romance and Liara’s slow integration into the community was given time to develop which added an authenticity seldom seen in Hallmarks. The villa, which does not even have running water or electricity, is slowly (but fastly in the end) brought into shape with ex-lawyer and current contractor/handyman, Leo’s, help and results in an enviably beautiful home. She makes friends. In the process, Liara starts to struggle with the idea of returning to her career in Chicago and leaving the life she has found in Italy and her romantic relationship with Leo. Happily and mysteriously, Liara is in the enviable position of not having to consider money and how to get it in this movie. Also there is a donkey, olive trees, and she finds a letter from her father in a box of old mail. It all comes to a head when her ex finds her in Italy and wants to resume their relationship like nothing happened and a major real estate development firm shows interest in buying her property. 

One thing I really liked was what happened when her ex-fiancé showed up unexpectedly. Usually the new love interest will misinterpret some interaction between the ex-couple and go flouncing off in a huff, resulting in the big misunderstanding. That didn’t happen here. Instead, Leo starts to tell him off and almost punches him for what he did to Liara. Liara stops him and tells him off herself. He says “my bad” and goes away. No big last 15 minute romantic conflict!

Eloise Mumford who played Liara is a bit of a hit or miss with me. Comedy is not her forte. And there were some scenes in this movie which could have been played for more humor. Unfortunately, the actress’s resting face is “On the Verge of Tears.” Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t. Also I wish that Liara’s mother had been more involved in the story. She doesn’t come to Italy until all is settled as part of the epilogue. I would have liked to have seen her earlier helping with the renovation and healing from the death of her husband.

All in all there was a lot to appreciate in this one including the cinematography. It stepped outside the box in more ways than one. But, for me, it was missing that special spark that makes it a top tier Hallmark.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

To Barcelona, Forever

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Part II. Just Add Saffron.

Ok so now it’s Anna’s turn to find her soulmate in Barcelona (or vicinity). In the first movie of this two-parter an author (Anna) and the translator of her book (Erica) met in Barcelona and became best friends. Erica found true love with her best friend (No, not Anna-another one-a guy) and Anna found her true calling, which was not a novelist but a food writer. Erica is the true novelist. Or is she? A publisher has given her a book deal without her even having to submit a proposal or even a vague idea for a novel, and she has not written a word. Yes, it’s the dreaded Hallmark Writer’s Block. But we’ll put a pin in that one because this movie is about Anna who has spent the last 5 months traveling around Europe blogging about food. She has attracted the interest of a food magazine who is willing to give her a real job if she can blow off their socks with a groundbreaking article on something to do with food.

Anna visits a gourmet shop and the shop owner suggests a teeny tiny jar of the world famous saffron that he is the exclusive purveyor of. When she finds out the price, she laughs in his face “Does it come with its own private chef?” and makes another sarcastic remark or two. Unfortunately, the owner of the saffron farm, Javier Estrella, is standing right behind her. Meet Cute Alert!  He is very offended and she is very abashed. She wants to write about his saffron and his family who for generations have been producing the world’s finest example of the venerated spice. That’s a big nope. Besides the disdain he feels for Anna, his family takes privacy to an almost pathological level. Even the village they live in is so secret, no one can find it, “unless they want you to. And they don’t.” We’ll put a pin in that one too. Well, one thing leads to another, the disdain does not last long, and the sparks just fly off these two. They have a magical evening which ends with a kiss. On her way to Portugal the next morning, Anna’s car breaks down right outside Javier’s secret village (What are the odds?-It must be fate). Javier is horrified to find her lugging her luggage down the street, thinking she followed him. As it turns out, Javier was in Barcelona to meet a matchmaker his mother set him up with. He promised her he would get married before the next harvest in a couple of weeks and start having babies to continue the family legacy. His family will think Anna is his fiancée (they work fast in this neck of the woods). Instead of telling his mother the truth they decide to compound the problem and have Anna pose as his fiancée so his mother will have her heart broken later rather than sooner, and broken worse by getting her hopes up and of course she will grow to love the super charming Anna. In turn, Javier will let Anna publish her article about the family business, on the condition he approves of it once it’s written. Orphan Anna grows to feel a part of the warm tradition-loving family and romance, conflict, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, drama, comedy, and a festival ensue. And Erica and Nico from the first movie show up adding to both the fun and the tribulations which follow.

Thanks to the performances of Ashley Williams and Miguel Bracco, who played Javier, this movie won me over pretty quickly with their first scene together. Their chemistry (hate that word, but what can you do?) between the two really made the romance work. Their banter was funny, thanks to both their delivery and the writer (Julie Sherman Wolfe). Ashley brought her Golden Retriever puppy dog personality somewhat to heel, and nailed her character’s vulnerable introspective side. The easy rapport between Ashley Williams and Alison Sweeney was a natural. What took them so long?  The saffron aspect was interesting and educational.

It was not problem free, of course. Few Hallmarks are. There were the usual cliches, nonsensical decisions, and other questionable occurrences only for the sake of plot and drama. And the casting was a little off the wall. This included the actor playing Javier’s father being the same age as Ashley Williams, his future daughter-in-law (presumably). The Mom was also very youthful and hip looking for such an old-fashioned character. And other things we won’t dwell on. It will be a banner day when Hallmark embraces the real ages of their talented and popular lead actresses and gives them roles which acknowledge that yes, even women in their 40s and 50s can find romance and adventure. Which I would guess is their target market, by the way. Insert “shrug” emoji.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

To Barcelona, With Love

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The Ashley and Alison Show

This was almost really good. The plot was a fairly fresh take on the iconic Cyrano de Bergerac love triangle. Roxanne with Steve Martin was mentioned. Anna, played by Ashley Williams, is a romance writer whose latest book is a big flop. That is because she is not a good writer. Case in point. She sets the book in Barcelona, Spain and she has never even been to Barcelona. But that’s OK because “she walked the streets” courtesy of Google Maps Street View. Her first book was successful only because she had a wonderful editor who fixed it. Her publisher does not want to have anything more to do with her. Until the soaring sales figures from Barcelona come in. Shockingly, instead of being exposed there as being phony and inauthentic to the native Catalans, it is a big hit. That’s because of…Erica. Erica, played by Alison Sweeney, is an expat American who has lived and worked in Barcelona for 10 years. She is a literary translator who is the one who translated Anna’s book into Spanish. Except she didn’t just translate it she rewrote it completely. “I didn’t mean to!” Her knowledge and love for the city shown through and she put in a lot of symbolism and other stuff, making it an almost instant modern classic in Catalonia. She is best friends with a very handsome bookseller, Nico, with whom she is secretly in love. He absolutely loves the book and invites the “author”, Anna, to Barcelona to promote it at his bookstore. Anna is thrilled, especially when she gets to Spain and gets a load of handsome and sexy Nico. They start crushing on each other.  Erica and Anna become friends and it isn’t long before Anna realizes, humorously, that the Spanish version of the book is nothing like the English version that she wrote. “Dolphins? I don’t remember writing anything about Dolphins?!”. The whole truth comes out and Anna and Erica decide to keep the secret so as not to ruin the bookstore event. And all of this is with the full blessing of the publisher, as long as Erica keeps to her non-disclosure agreement. I was relieved not to have to deal with a lot of faffing around with zero communication, lies, or threats of exposure. Well OK, Nico was out of the loop, but that was necessary to the romance, and the women’s efforts to keep up the deception were amusing. And although not realistic, Anna did not get cranky about Erica taking over her book. It only made her realize that she was not that kind of writer. Besides, she still got credit for it.

As Anna, Erica, and Nico tour around Barcelona, it becomes more and more clear to everyone that Erica is the one who should be with Nico, not Anna, with whom he has nothing in common. It was a slow burn romance and nicely done. What makes this movie, beside the beautiful setting, is the character of Anna and the performance of Ashley Williams. While her super-smiley perky sparkles personality and acting style can wear thin very quickly, she was perfectly cast as the exuberant extrovert Anna to whom no one is a stranger. Williams really leans into her signature acting style in what is almost a self-parody. She attacks people she sees reading her book, introduces herself as the author, holds up her photo on the book jacket to prove it, and insists on signing it for them. It was funny. She is more interested in food and eating than sight-seeing. It isn’t long before she knows more about where to eat in Barcelona than the natives do. As it turns out, Anna may not be able to write romantic fiction, but she’s a genius at writing about food. How will Anna and Erica, who is the true novelist, get their careers and love lives on the right paths? 

This movie was fun because the veteran Hallmark writer, Julie Sherman Wolfe,  kept it light-hearted and romantic, avoiding stupid misunderstandings, festering secrets, and hostile threats from bullying bosses that this type of plot could very well have fallen into. A case could be made that the two talented actresses were too old for their parts. At one point Erica hints that she is still looking to start a family. And Ashley’s part as a budding writer who still hasn’t found her niche is more suitable for someone in their 20s or early 30s. But these were minor points and easily pushed to the side. And, we are in good hands with the two talented Hallmark veterans. Plus Alison Sweeney and Alejandro Tous were a good match. The only thing that brought the movie down was Erica taking way too long to claim what she deserved in her career and personal life. She made hiding and denying practically an art form. Not my favorite.

As it turns out this was the first part of a movie duo. Next week it’s Anna’s turn to get the guy in Barcelona. I’m looking forward to it.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

Love on the Danube: Kissing Stars

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All aboard the Good Ship Kiss-Con

Love on the Danube: Kissing Stars works due to the always reliable Hallmark stalwart Brendan Penny and his co-star Sarah Power. When I say “works” I mean it’s watchable. Ms. Power has been in a couple of Hallmarks but was a regular on the Hallmark-produced series The Good Witch. Chemistry is always just a matter of opinion with most movie couples (it’s undeniable only rarely), but I think these two kinda had it. Brendan plays Tripp, a rising film star who made a great impression in his first Romantic Comedy movie and his second film is about to premiere. He is up for a continuing role in a trilogy that is scheduled for production but he has a bad attitude towards anything dealing with publicity or his growing fanbase. Savannah is a recently laid off publicist. Clearly these two are meant to be. Now how can we get them together? How about plopping them on a cruise along the Danube? And what if that cruise is the venue for a Rom-com fan Convention called Kiss-Con where Rom-com fans can buy a ticket for the privilege of meeting and getting selfies with their favorite Rom-com stars? Works for me!

Savannah is hired by the annoying little twerp of an entertainment reporter who has set up the event to make sure Tripp makes nice with the fans and doesn’t come across like a jerk when he is interviewed. The thing is, he is not really a jerk. He’s just a small town guy who is shy and reserved. He does like acting, but not the fame that comes with it. You know the type. Savannah explains to him that he is not going to be hired for that trilogy unless he brings his fair share of fans and good publicity to the table. And if he doesn’t get that trilogy, he can’t afford to hire a manager for his aging parents’ Montana ranch. Under Savannah’s expert guidance, Tripp is soon taking selfies like a boss and not saying embarrassing things during interviews. They fall in love against the Viennese backdrop (but it could have been Budapest.) Unfortunately, their falling in love activities cause Tripp to miss a fan event and Savannah gets fired by “annoying little twerp.”

After adding insult to injury by publicly denying his feelings for Savannah while on stage in front of everyone (encouraged by “annoying little twerp”), it looks like the romance is doomed and Savannah will not be meeting the parents in Montana after all. **Spoiler Alert** Needless to say Tripp makes it all OK by the famous Rom-com “grand gesture” with about a minute to go.

This movie was OK, but could have been a lot better. Given that Hallmark holds its own Meet the Stars events like Christmas Con, The Hallmark Christmas Experience, and even hosts a cruise similar to this movie’s Kiss Con, they could have had a lot of fun with this concept and gone a lot more meta than they did. I would have loved to see some cameo appearances by some real life Hallmark actors in this, as they have done so cutely in past movies. References to Captain Stubing and Julie McCoy didn’t cut it.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

Love on The Danube: Royal Getaway

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Art Lovers

I’m giving this one an almost 7, which is fairly typical for a travelogue Hallmark movie. The story was one of the “Royal in Disguise” ones and does not miss a square on the bingo card. So, as usual, the plot wasn’t much, but it was saved somewhat by the scenery along the Danube and the lead actress, Jessica Sipos. Sipos is not new to Hallmark, but this is her first time in a lead role. I hope not the last, because she was appealing, convincing, pretty, and well-cast (casting being a frequent stumbling block for Hallmark.) Dan Jeannotte was also well cast and together they made a good couple with decent chemistry. Unfortunately, although I usually like him pretty well,  in this one, Jeannotte’s over-the-top posh British accent got between his role and his performance. It was very distracting. Maybe he should have gone with an Eastern European accent? You know, because he was supposed to be from Baldonia(?), which everyone knows is on the Danube River which flows through Eastern Europe. However, his facial expressions matched what he was supposed to be conveying.

Ava is a curator in an Art Gallery who is a little burned out and still hurting from breaking up with her fiancé a year ago. Her boss convinces her to go ahead and go on the river cruise that was supposed to be her honeymoon. Hmmmm. That could have gone either way as far as a mood-booster. Josef is a Duke in line for the throne of Baldonia(?). He is on the outs with his dad, The King, because of some minor scandals (a speeding ticket right in front of the palace!) and not taking his royal duties seriously though he does a lot of charity work involving art. His Valet/Butler/P.A./Handler (Yes, one of those. Every royal has one, and this one is of the nice, not sinister, varieties) convinces them to have Josef go on the exact same cruise that Ava is on to have a think about his future and stop by the various palaces that they cruise by to gather art works for the Royal Charity Gala which will top off the movie. Of course he goes incognito as “Joe, just Joe” and strikes up a romance with Ava while montage-ing along the Danube. Despite some close calls, he keeps up the deception until he is outed by a paparazzo. 

Ava is betrayed and the Molten Fires of Hell are unleashed. Not really, but when she reads him the riot act about his deception she does it with such conviction that when she ultimately forgives him it did not follow convincingly. Usually the conflict is resolved by some grand gesture but all it took for her to give in was a nice letter from Joe’s sister-in-law, a formal invitation to the Royal Gala, and a selection of ball gowns to choose from should she decide to accept the invitation. Ha Ha. The last 5 or 10 minutes rushed to a close, with Joe’s brother, the future king (Joe decides on another career path) and his nice wife gifting them both together a painting that she has been looking for that was under a sheet in the family palace all the time. This seemed a little presumptuous. They now are co-owners of the valuable painting even though they’ve only been on a few dates and the future of the relationship seemed kind of iffy to say the least before the Royal Gala. But now they have no choice but to get married and live happily ever after because they might as well, right? Wouldn’t want to complicate matters with a custody battle over a piece of art of the “My 4-year-old-could-do-better” variety.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

Love on the Danube: Love Song

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No Blues on This Danube

Really, I got nothing. This was a very standard and generic travelogue type romance with nothing much to distinguish it. Good or bad. There was some nice scenery and some good singing, which I actually could have used more of. The actors were fine. Not a major fan of either Nazneen Contractor or Wes Brown, but they were fine. The two older actors who played these late thirty-somethings’ parents were both also fine. Actually a little more than fine.

Jack and Sarah are on a  Broadway revival themed river cruise with their widowed parents, Andre and Julia, who are still down in the dumps about the deaths of their spouses. Jack and Andre have never been close because Andre was not very present as a husband and father and has been regretting that. Sarah and Julia have always been close but Julia is not recovering fast enough from her husband’s death for Sarah’s taste. Also Sarah has always felt responsible for holding her mother back from her full potential as a Broadway singer and actress, where, in her opinion, she should have been a star performer and not just in the chorus. Which is dumb. Because of this Sarah is a workaholic and determined that nothing will stand in her way career-wise. She has a slave-driver of a boss who will not let her alone and is constantly pressuring her to do this, that, or the other even on her vacation or she will not get that all-important promotion. This is the second rude threatening boss in as many weeks and I am really over this annoying convention. No boss would ever be so mean and demanding with a valued employee. Anyway, Jack and Sarah get together to pull a Parent Trap-type Matchmaking scheme on their parents and of course end up falling in love themselves. While cruising, running, sightseeing, and wine-drinking along the banks of the Danube, Julia learns the usual life lessons and Jack already has it all together so learns nothing. After giving him the brushoff, Julia changes her mind and decides to ease off on her career and let love into her life in the form of Jack. Then she quits her job to start her own company which will not exactly lead to more work-life balance, but will get her boss off her back. Probably being promoted would have done that too (she gets the promotion), but whatever. Andre and Julia remain “just friends.”

At one point, Julia sings snippets from “The Trolley Song” from Meet Me in Saint Louis and “Somewhere” from West Side Story. For me, these were highlights and had they been more than just snippets, I probably would have given this movie another star. This is the first part of a trilogy based on cruising The Danube. Apparently the second one is a Royal in Disguise. Thank you very little, Hallmark.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Love in the Clouds

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Balloon Fiesta Fiasco

I’ll keep this fairly short since it’s been 4 days since I saw this movie and have no desire to see it again to refresh my memory. There was nothing there to elevate it above the usual hackneyed TV romance playbook. It was a long string of oft-used cliches starting with a mean bully of a (female) boss and ending with one half of the couple flying off the handle after hearing one side of a conversation and not letting the other half explain. The whole premise of our heroine being sent across the country to Albuquerque to do a 5 minute piece on the annual balloon fiesta and then pressured into getting some dirt on an obscure balloon wrangler made no sense. Who in the world would care about him or his past unhappy love affair and business troubles? Knocking it down further was my pet peeve of miscasting middle aged actors in roles more appropriate for 20 or early 30-somethings. Highlighting this age un-appropriateness was casting actors as their parents who could well be their siblings, age-wise. To make it worse, I did not have access to my DVR so I was forced to watch it in real time when it was replayed the next day. I was literally pacing the floor waiting for it to end through the last half hour. Never have I missed my fast forward button more. 

And now for the elephant in the room. The majority of commenters on this movie had something uncomplimentary to say about the lead actress, Mckenzie Westmore’s, face, which has seen some noticeable nipping, tucking, and injecting. There’s actually a sad story behind all that work. As a young woman, barely out of her teens, she won a main role in the daytime soap opera, Passions. Like so many aspiring actresses of that time she was told she was too fat even though her dress size was a 6 or lower. As a result she lost a lot of weight and developed an eating disorder. Sound familiar? As a result of her weight loss, her face became too thin and gaunt looking which she fixed by injecting fillers. Since she started this so young and did it so frequently, the fillers started to sag under her skin, migrate, and form lumps on her face. A couple of years ago, she went to a renowned plastic surgeon to dissolve the fillers and do a deep plane facelift to remedy all of the damage. So to my mind, she doesn’t deserve to be criticized on that front. Unfortunately the hair and makeup department for this movie did not do this attractive woman any favors. Which is weird because Ms. Westmore is founder and creative director of her own cosmetics company and is descended from a long line of Hollywood Makeup artists who are legends in the industry. She is the last person I would think could fall victim to bad movie makeup and hair. Which to me, is make-up and hair you notice before you notice the person underneath.

The balloon shots were impressive but the green screens when the actors were supposed to be in the air were not. Paul Greene was as reliable as usual, but unfortunately the make-up department got their hands on him as well. Definitely an orange tint in some scenes. The way she was “fixed up”, Gail O’Grady looked like she thought she was cast as Paul Greene’s sister, not his mother. And who could blame her with an only 11 year age difference? There were a lot of distractions in this movie, including 67 year old Lorenzo Lamas who looked great.

Rating: 3 out of 10.

Journey to You

/ Rebekahrox / 1 Comment
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Monica Gets a Pebble in Her Shoe and Falls off a Log

I’m sure this one will get a lot of criticism regarding its slow pace and many references to God and faith. But maybe not. Because honestly what would anyone expect from a Hallmark that was based on a workaholic nurse who goes on a Christian pilgrimage to learn to slow down and find balance in her life? The evening before Easter? Wouldn’t anyone guess what was in store for them with this movie and give it a pass if this kind of thing did not appeal to them? Those that stick with this past the first 15 minutes are those that are either masochists or appreciate more contemplative leisurely paced entertainment packed with lots of talk, walking, praying, nice scenery, life lessons, and inspirational religious stuff. At least the Hallmark version of all of the above.

Popular Hallmark actress Erin Cahill stars as Monica who is a Nurse Practitioner who has just been passed over for a long yearned for promotion to Practice Manager. This is very odd because she is a very hard worker and has been working very hard making herself indispensable to everyone, patients and colleagues alike, for a long time. She hasn’t been on vacation in 4 years, because, as she tells her new boss, “This place depends on me. I wouldn’t want to leave my patients high and dry.” Wow and Yikes. This to the woman who the higher ups hired instead of promoting her. And one who appreciates the value of teamwork. Maybe not so odd she got passed over, after all. After a talk with her mother and a visit to the chapel, Monica has a glimmer of self-awareness and decides to take up her mother’s suggestion that she would benefit from walking one of the routes of the Camino de Santiago. This is a Christian Pilgrimage through France and Spain that people take for many reasons: physical challenge, spiritual enlightenment, a break from modern life, renewal of their Christian faith, and in Monica’s case, to get a grip. Actor and famous devout Catholic Martin Sheen made a movie about this with his son Emilio Esteves called The Way.

Monica’s companions on her journey include a handsome divorced father, his teenage son, and his handsome not all that elderly father who is the same age as their wise and friendly guide, Consuela. It turns out that Monica’s glimmer of self-awareness was just the tiniest of glimmers. Her control freak ways have followed her to Spain. All of them have a lot to learn and no prizes for guessing that we will have two successful romances by journey’s end.

Even though the movie was not actually filmed along the Camino, it was filmed in Spain, and the scenery was a real plus. The characters were all likable, despite their flaws and weaknesses, especially Consuela who was an oasis of calm and wisdom. Even though the morals of the stories were nothing new and ones that Hallmark belabors on a regular basis, I liked the not too subtle suggestion that Monica’s journey was guided by a force greater than herself. Some of the coincidences turn out not to be coincidences. I liked it pretty well, but again, if you can’t tolerate talky faith-based leisurely movies stay far far away.

Rating: 7 out of 10.