Bad Business

Adventures in Love & Birding

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Love Birds

Back to the Hallmark saltmines (I kid) after a three week hiatus while The Groomsmen trilogy was being shown instead of new premieres. I had already seen them thanks to a free trial of Hallmark+. They weren’t horrible or anything, but not particularly memorable either and I had no desire to see them again for reviewing purposes. 

This seemed like it could be a promising back to business movie as it paired two longtime Hallmark veterans for the very first time in a Hallmark (which was hard to believe). Predictably, they were very good together in this first of the “Fall Into Love” grouping. Only a few weeks until “Countdown to Christmas!” Yikes!  Rachel Boston was her usual very very animated self and Andrew Walker was Andrew Walker, which is a pretty good thing. It was about the hobby of birding which was different. They were age appropriate for their roles which caused the movie not to lose 1 (or sometimes 2) stars in my 1 to 10 star rating scale.

Rachel plays Celeste who was recently dumped by her husband of 22 years. She is fine though, other than the usual busybody friends who are trying to set her up with various men and are constantly hounding her to “get back out there” when all she wants to do is reorganize the garage. She is also a little verklempt because her high school senior daughter will be going away to college soon. She wants to spend more time with her but her daughter has her own busy life. Actually, her daughter is trying to distance herself a little to prepare for the wrench of leaving her home and Mom. Also she is nursing some doubts about going to college right away, but we don’t know that yet. Andrew plays John who was recently dumped by his long time girlfriend and birding partner. He quit pursuing his doctorate and left teaching for an office job which pissed her off. He likes the outdoors and wants to start his own birding guide business. (Add this one to the Hallmark Dubious Business list.) Celeste is recruited by a mutual friend to be John’s birding partner in the annual NorCal Ornithological Society’s Bird-a-Thon. And Celeste gets the idea that she is supposed to pretend like she is his fake girlfriend as well as mutual birding enthusiast to show up the cheating competitive b**ch who is also participating. She is mistaken in this extra assignment, which leads to an amusing first meeting with John in front of his Ex and her new partner/boyfriend. The stakes are a lot higher this year because a corporate sponsor has put up prize money to the tune of “5 figures”. So if he wins it, the 10,000 to 99,999 dollar prize (I’m guessing closer to the lower figure) will decide John’s path in life: risk going into the Bird guide business or staying on the corporate fast track at the office. By the way, the number of different birds each couple count in the 3 week long contest (the highest count wins), is run on the honor system. That seemed very naive to me especially this year since money was involved. They couldn’t take a picture of the birds they spot? Just to keep honest people honest? Sounds like Bad Business to me.

Anyway, bird montages and romance ensue. Besides the birding, Celeste and John also attend some outside functions together and the relationship building was good. Extra points for a rare mid-movie uninterrupted kiss. Rachel and Andrew had an easy rapport and really played well together. The secondary story of Celeste and her daughter Morgan’s changing relationship and Morgan’s doubts about her future played well also. I even had a little sniffle at  the end. Speaking of Morgan, the actress who played her, Talisa Mae Stewart looked awfully familiar. It turns out she is a dead ringer for similarly named Taissa Farmiga who played Gladys in The Gilded Age.

Talisa
Taisa

 

So that was pretty interesting. The last minute temporary break up was dumb as usual but at least it didn’t involve hearing one half of a private conversation while eavesdropping and totally getting everything ass-backwards. All in All, lots more good than bad. A respectable but unspectacular “7”.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

Hearts Around the Table: Kiki’s Fourth Ingredient.

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I Didn’t know Whether to Add Stars or Subtract Them.

**Spoilers**

Jenna and Andrew are getting married in 4 days. Will Kiki, the last foster child on the docket, be able to meet, get to know, and fall in love with some man, have a big conflict, and then make up with him all the while preparing to cater her sister’s 100 guest wedding out of a food truck? It won’t be easy, but it’s Saturday night on the Hallmark Channel, so the answer is “yes.”  We see the road forward when we are introduced to Andrew’s best man who just happens to be the executive chef and owner of one of the most well-established restaurants in town. He is played by Torrance Coombs, who has been in a Hallmark and similar movie a time or two. There was one I didn’t like, but one I really did. And it turns out that he was the best thing about this one. He brought a suave and sophisticated mature older-man vibe to the proceedings that I really liked. Even though he was supposed to be the same age as Andrew. Kiki is supposed to be somewhat younger, so it was OK. I bought it.

Kiki is rather prickly with Clay when they first meet and she finds out his status in the local restaurant scene. She understandably feels a lot of pressure to make things perfect for her sister and now feels that she and her food truck will be judged and found wanting. And unexpected problems and glitches do seem to be mounting up. And no wonder, because she seems to be doing everything as if she didn’t know she was going to be the caterer until yesterday. Clay is very nice and makes it clear he has nothing but respect for her talent, admires her spirit and creativity, and even envies her freedom to create and serve what she wants.  Mainly, he points out that she is so preoccupied by prepping for the reception that she is missing out on her sister’s wedding and her bridesmaid duties. Kiki conquers her “I-can-do-it-all-by-myself-itis” and she lets him advise and help her. Only one day to the wedding, and they even have time to help out a local food bank.

All proceeds as expected on the romance and professional front until the night of the rehearsal dinner, when all things go to hell in a handbasket. Clay warmly introduces his female friend and colleague, another prominent chef, to the group and praises her skills and her restaurant. He praises Kiki and introduces her especially, and the lady makes some subtle digs at Kiki and her food truck.  Kiki goes on high alert, insecurity rears its ugly head again, and she gets huffy and sneaks out of the dinner. At first I thought she was being overly sensitive and overreacted. But looking at the exchange again, I didn’t really blame her for getting her panties in a twist. But she shouldn’t have walked out of her sister’s rehearsal dinner. She missed all of the drama.

While the Clay and Kiki saga was going on, Angie, the foster mother, tracked down Jenna’s long lost father behind her back as a special treat for Jenna. In the middle of the dinner, in he walks, still in his work clothes. What was the normally wise and caring Angie thinking? Not surprisingly Jenna was not pleased that the father who abandoned her and her mother (It wasn’t my idea!) shockingly intrudes uninvited by her on her happy (except for Kiki) rehearsal dinner. He didn’t even know her mother had died 20 years ago, and that Jenna had been raised in foster care (And why not, may I ask, you Jerk? That $64,000 question never gets answered.) She even turns on Andrew, the fiancé, in her anger and disgust. Uh Oh, SpaghettiOs.

And things go downhill from there! It got very awkward. As awkward as I’ve ever seen in a Hallmark movie. In fact, it was such a trainwreck, I almost gave it extra stars for the entertainment value. I’ll try not to give a play by play, but it mainly involves Kiki chopping vegetables like a maniac in her food truck the morning of the wedding after firing all of her temps instead of being a help and support to her traumatized sister. Also, Jenna refuses to walk down the aisle without the stranger she met the night before at her side (Don’t ask about the change of heart, because I have no idea). She keeps her Groom and his Groomsmen standing awkwardly in front of all of the guests in the pews waiting for her to appear while dear old “Dad” is rounded up.  They stand there quietly panicking and being stared at in silence without even any organ music for at least 20 minutes. They have no idea what is going on! And don’t get me started on Josh’s honey walking down the aisle like a hotdog in the middle of it all to straighten his tie. And the baptismal font in the middle of the aisle which Jenna, Deadbeat Dad, and Angie have to dodge on the trip to the altar.

Anyway, just to wrap up, the wedding happens in spite of itself and Kiki and Clay declare their undying love after knowing each other for 4 actually 3, days during which a good chunk of that time she was mad at him. What was the fourth ingredient? Another question goes unanswered. Stars for Mr. Coombs and all the craziness.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Hearts Around the Table: Shari’s Second Act.

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Everyone’s Confused. Including Me.

**Spoilers**

Now it’s time for the oldest sister Shari’s story. I really liked Shari in the first one. She was very fierce and sarcastic in protecting her sister against Andrew who did her dirty when they were teens. The movie opens shortly after the first one as Andrew and Jenna are an established couple although Andrew does not appear in person but only on the phone. Shari is coming back home to D.C. after divorcing her diplomat husband in Zurich, Switzerland. It starts off kind of cute as Shari and her siblings are on the phone, each one accusing the other of not going to pick her up from the airport and leaving her to find her own way home with a ton of luggage. When Shari walks outside the airport though they are all there together to pick her up as a surprise with signs and balloons and stuff. Group hug.

As we know, Shari is an artist, and she has snagged a huge commission for a painting, as well as a spot in a very luxurious apartment/studio/gallery for a below market rent called an “Artist’s Co-Op and Studio.” Except she seems to be the only one to ever be there. Except for the GQ/romance novel-cover-model-handsome-caretaker/handyman who turns out to be the owner, that is. It’s a little unnerving. Their whole romance consists of “You Lied to Me!” “I need some space!” “No, I need some space” “It’s a date” “It’s not a date” “Is something Wrong?” “I just got divorced and can’t get involved with anyone right now.” “Leave me alone. I need to chase my own dreams.” “I need some some space and told him to leave me alone but he’s pushing me away. What did I do wrong?” “Maybe he’s confused?” Ya think? The sisters’ advice consists of encouraging her to pursue love with this cute guy and then telling her to back off from any relationships because it’s literally days after she got divorced after hoping for a reconciliation. That last part made a ton of sense to me and I am sure any amateur or professional therapist would advise the same. But this is a Hallmark and we can’t have a happy ending unless that happy ending includes a pair-up. At the end, Evan the cute owner, gets a huge opportunity to repurpose some warehouses in San Francisco. It is the chance of a lifetime. And we have another round of confusion. “I must go to San Francisco to chase my dreams.” “Do you really want to go?” “I’m really happy for you.” “I love you but I can’t ask you to stay.” “This job is incredible. I want to take this job.” “I want to see if we fit”. “Maybe it will lead somewhere. Maybe it won’t.” “You must go. I love you but I can’t ask you to give up your dream job.” “Please stay.” “This is my dream job but it’s missing you.” They decide to take it slow. They kiss. She introduces Evan to her family as her best friend, muse, and soulmate. Yikes. Slow down, girl. It’s been how long? Two weeks? Three? At the end, I really don’t know if he went or not, or if he went, if Shari went with him. I kind of doubt it. Unfortunately for all concerned, I think he stayed.

We have some side stories too. The brother, Coach Josh, helps a troubled teen and his sister. Their father gets some help in the end too. Kiki can’t  decide whether to go to a funeral. Evan’s grandmother, a former artist who doesn’t paint anymore (why?) had to sell off all of her work “for pennies” and regrets it. It is Evan’s life’s work to find one of the lost paintings to give back to her. Grandma must have been pretty renowned and celebrated because one of her paintings is auctioned off to a collector or dealer for $10,000. Questions questions. It turns out one of her paintings was right there at Foster Mother Angie’s house all along. Thank God Shari stopped him from selling his car to up the $10,000 bid. She takes it right off the wall. No charge.

What really got my goat is that Shari never works on the painting she was hired to paint. She claims that she just can’t paint out of nowhere but must wait to be “inspired.” The thing is that Shari is a portrait painter, so she must have been commissioned to paint a portrait. Just paint the damn face. No inspiration needed. She paints Evan’s portrait. At the end, I guess to symbolize that she has finally found herself and her inspiration, she paints about a dozen self-portraits. But she never paints the portrait she was hired to paint. BTW, she is not a good painter. The paintings she painted at the end are not good, in my opinion. I do not see success as a painter in her future.

Shari was not the same Shari as she was in the first movie. If she had been, I would have liked this more. The romance was ill-advised from the get go. Between the dubious viability of Evan’s “Artist’s Co-Op”, and Shari’s half-baked “I have to be free” approach to her painting career combined with her lack of talent (in my opinion), I’m afraid we have another case of what I call “Bad Business.” This is usually death to stars-This a 4, which is bad (swear words were uttered), but with a few bright spots and not actively revolting.

Rating: 4 out of 10.

My Argentine Heart

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Back at the Estancia

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I got so caught up in the financial complications of this one that I didn’t pay full attention to the more important parts, namely the romance, the scenery, and our heroine Abril’s Boston/career v. Argentina/man dilemma.

Abril, Julie Gonzalo, is a business consultant whose reputation in the industry was ruined by almost driving a multi-billion dollar company into bankruptcy. She’s actually famous as a cautionary tale and is unemployable in her field. When her cousin calls her from Argentina, she tells her she has gotten an offer to buy their ranch they inherited from their grandparents. Belinda is tired of trying to run it on her own and wants to pursue her dream of owning a restaurant.  Abril prefers to have the ranch in her hip pocket as a possible vacation or retirement home, even though she hasn’t visited in years and years since she was 18.  She hotfoots it to Argentina to see if there is a way to keep the ranch and still allow Belinda to achieve her restaurant dream. If she can work some financial wizardry, maybe she can punch up her resume and get a job again. When she arrives, she finds out it is her former boyfriend who has made the below-market but fair offer for the ranch. She is having none of that. Diego has given up his finance career in Mexico City to return to the soil and find his soul by owning the ranch that his ancestors have been caretakers of for generations. While going over the financials, Abril discovers an old loan which has never been repaid. Belinda explains that the loan had been sold and then resold and she doesn’t even know who owns the loan now and that whoever owns it has never asked for payment. She was advised to just forget about it. Rest assured that this will eventually come back to bite them. Abril looks for investors so she and Belinda can retain ownership and keep from selling it to Diego.  She discloses the loan to an interested party, as she is legally and ethically bound to do, and he ends up finding the loan, buying it, and asking for immediate payment or else he will take over the ranch and they will get nothing. Now faced with a common enemy, Diego and Abril end their hostilities and start working together, etc., etc. She wishes she had just sold the ranch to Diego especially since Belinda really and truly wants nothing to do with it anymore.

So many questions. First off could a bank do that? The answer is yes, depending on the original terms of the loan. But they cannot demand late payment penalties like they are doing. Belinda and Abril’s lawyer, a very handsome guy and really nice and Belinda’s love interest, threatens to tie the whole thing up in court. To avoid that, the bank offers to forgive the loan if they sell them the ranch for a fraction of its worth, much below Diego’s offer. At no time are we told the amounts of Diego’s offer, the size of the loan, the income from the ranch, its fair market value, or what the bank offered for the ranch. So it was all very murky. Abril contacts a former colleague in America who owes her a solid about investing in the ranch. He doesn’t want to do that, but offers Abril a position in his company with a high salary because he feels partially responsible for Abril’s reputation being ruined and being a pariah in the industry. Abril is ecstatic because that “solves everything.”  Diego and Belinda are confused, as was I, but Abril explains that now that she has a steady income, she does not have to rely on her savings to keep body and soul together while she is unemployed. Along with her savings, if she sells her condo, she can personally pay off the loan, and then she and Belinda can accept Diego’s offer to buy the ranch.  Belinda and Diego point out to this double MBA in Finance that the loan is twice as much as Abril would get back from the sale. But Abril assures them that it is “not about the money”. I thought Belinda should have at least offered her a share in her restaurant-to-be but she doesn’t. On the other hand, has poor Belinda ever been compensated by Abril for doing all the work running the ranch? Just a random thought. Later Abril suggests to Diego that maybe they could be partners and run the ranch together (she, remotely, from Boston) and she gets a big “No”. He does not want to share.

 So if I figure correctly, Abril loses her share of the ranch plus half of all her savings and the sale price of her condo. “You’re investing $10 to get back $5!” She has to find a new and cheaper place while working for a company which offered her a job out of guilt. But that’s OK because she has the satisfaction of helping her cousin achieve her dream and knowing that her family ranch will be in the hands of someone who will preserve its legacy and not in the hands of a greedy bank. Methinks Abril got the short end of the stick, and I really wouldn’t encourage her to put this on her resume. On her way back to Boston, in a considerably worse financial situation than when she left, Diego enters stage left at the Iguazú Falls, to save the day. He has had a think, and decides that he has been too proud and will now let Abril be his partner in the ranch instead of paying her the cash as long as she stays there with him in Argentina. He loves her, she loves him, and Abril decides that is a fine idea and they kiss.

Juan Pablo Di Pace, who played Diego, was very handsome and charismatic and Julie Gonzalo has never looked lovelier. They were both born in Argentina and were pretty good together. The rest of the cast were all local actors, and they were all great. The Argentinian setting was interesting and beautiful. It all looked pretty authentic to me, except their gaucho clothes looked a little costume-y. But I felt like Abril thoughtlessly discounted Belinda’s desire to sell the Ranch and Diego rubbed me the wrong way as well. He was inflexible and stubborn off and on through most of the movie added to a chip of class warfare of his shoulder. At the end of the day, the things that bugged me outweighed what I liked.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Happy Howlidays

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It Barks.

So this is the last movie of 2024’s Countdown to Christmas. I didn’t review as many as I wanted to. This will be my 20th one but last year, I reviewed 27 and the year before that 45! How did I do that?  And one of the 20 was from 2011 that I ran across, not one of this year’s. I wish I could blame my lack of inspiration on the movies. As usual there were some real winners, and some losers, but I didn’t review many real losers. Until today. No, to my surprise, it really wasn’t that horribly bad. It features the return of Jessica Lowndes to Hallmark after her defection to GAF. She is even more beautiful than before, thanks largely to considerably toned down makeup for this movie. However, her lack of authenticity in her acting  hasn’t changed a bit, nor her vocal fry, intonation, or lack of enunciation.  However, she is competent over half the time and she has her moments. I keep waiting for a breakthrough but I have a soft spot for her and hope she stays with Hallmark. Her leading man is the winner of Hallmark’s competition show, Finding Mr. Christmas. And as I never saw that series and am not likely to, this is where I found him. It was his first acting job, and it shows. But I’ve seen worse. Somewhere. If he keeps acting, I’m sure he will improve. He is very hunky, as proven by having to take his shirt off and discombobulating poor Jessica. Would have seen that scene coming from the international space station.

Jessica plays Mia, who works for the Seattle Travel Bureau which promotes tourism for the city. She is followed home one day by a cute dog she rescues from a killer fence. The next day, she tries to drop him off at a pet rescue center, but is turned away by our hero as the center is full. They hate each other, she, for good reason. He is a real jerk of spectacular proportions. In fact, my judgement of Mr. Christmas’s acting may have been influenced by how much I hated his character. So if that’s the case, I’m sorry, guy. “Max” is officious, mean, and has such a high bar for aspiring pet owners to adopt one of his dogs that he coldly rejects a nice suburban mother’s application, yet won’t take Mia’s dog, despite her telling him she would not be a good dog parent.  She is forced to foster him because she is not heinous or cruel, and Max lets her, even though she is clueless about raising a dog, and he calls her apartment a death trap. So maybe health and safety not his first priority? Not surprisingly, his pet rescue center is struggling to pay the bills. I hated this guy with the heat of a thousand suns.  However, he does apologize later and does some groveling. So I let him live, even though he was always doing something lame. Anyway, her dog, Russell, and Max’s dog, Jules, fall in love which forces the two to spend time together especially since Mia’s videos of the doggy duo  have gone viral and “Jussell’s” love affair has kept thousands of Seattleites glued to their screens. In fact, one wonders why one of his thousands of fans hasn’t stepped up to adopt Russell. Max’s excuse for his behavior, (that is, keeping many dogs from good, if not perfect, homes) is that his and Jules’ hearts were both broken when his girlfriend left for Los Angeles and took her dog with her who was Jules’ doggy girlfriend before Russell. Sorry, I’m not buying it.

Mia, on the other hand, I liked.  She won me over right away when she wakes up with potato chips all over her sheets, and she grabs a few to eat for breakfast. When she wakes up to Russell’s eating her feather pillows and overturning all of her plants, (after stepping barefoot in his pee) she tells him, “There is room for only one hot mess here, and that’s me!” Jessica was funny in these scenes. So we are getting not so subtle hints that Mia has some secret tragedy or at least some serious life disruption that she is running from. **Spoiler Alert** I was quite taken aback when it turned out that she was a former surgeon who got reprimanded by her hospital for operating on a woman who was in a coma and dying without the proper paperwork filled out. This kind of soured her on being a doctor. Though it might have also been because she says she is not good at Math. (Cover your ears, Danica Mckellar!) Towards the end, her doctor parents, whom she has been trying to avoid, try to tell her she can’t save everyone but she shouldn’t stop trying. They were totally right of course, and that’s when I started to not like her so much. What a waste. And her career decision at the end, after Max’s Pet Rescue is saved by a fundraising festival and a large check from Mia’s parents, did not make me change my mind. She decides to throw all of her medical and surgical training for humans away and start all over again to become a vet. Hope she doesn’t lose any furbabies, because here we go again with the quitting trying to save pets as well as people, and throwing a career away.

So despite some bright spots in the script, the big picture was a “Nope” from me. It’s a “5 1/2” because of the cute dog actors, and a funny cameo by Jonathan Bennett. And Max’s cute and smart sister Penny, played by Cassandra Sawtell who was an oasis of charm and talent.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.

Tis the Season to be Irish

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Flip Flop

This movie I had major problems with. The actors were fine. The male lead was very attractive and I liked Fiona Gubelmann better than I thought I would. It was beautifully filmed and the Irish scenery was lovely and evocative. The plot was standard stuff that could go either way between a fairly decent movie or a disaster depending on the details. This was not a disaster, but full of distracting headscratchers that pushed the needle close to disaster territory. The basic plot on which all hangs is Rose (Fiona) going to Ireland to flip a house she bought on a whim on the internet. She is a successful real estate investor and designer and who enjoys her freedom and lack of roots. She meets Sean, the handsome and sexy real estate agent/possibly mayor/most eligible bachelor/official preserver of historical cottages/anti-flipping police. Handsome and sexy he might be, but despite his banter and jokes, one senses a certain complicated mysterious darkness there. Of course he is the love interest. Fiona sets about restoring the house, bumping heads with Sean about every improvement she wants to make. Seemed like a pretty standard issue Hallmark plot, but whoever wrote this seemed determined to bewilder and perplex.

First off, Sean was clearly meant to be an admittedly rough diamond: Outwardly hard to get along with but with a heart of goo. (He has a nice mother, who welcomes Fiona with open arms for one thing.) But what about his sleazy sales tactics? Fiona based her purchase on a photo of the cottage which was charming if spartan by the sea with wonderful views. When she gets to Ireland, it turns out the pictures are several years old and the cottage is literally falling apart with tarps over the roof, water damage, falling beams, boarded up windows, with outdoor refuse everywhere inside as well as out. It was shabby behavior and false advertising. And sorry, I didn’t buy his smirking excuses: I told you to read the fine print, I told you not to buy it, etc. He claims the property itself is worth 3 times what she paid for the house. Which doesn’t do her any good because he would never sign off on demolition of such a historical hovel treasure so a buyer could start from scratch. What a weasel. Such unethical behavior on the part of a Hallmark hero is a first. I think I can say without qualification that his “Ma” would not approve. This is behavior typical of the “bad boyfriend,” our heroine gives the heave-ho to, not the good guy.

And why did a successful savvy professional house buyer purchase a cottage 5000 pounds over the asking price in another country sight unseen without reading the fine print anyway?

Even though he sold her a bill of goods by despicable means, he compounded his duplicity by refusing to work with her to make the property sellable. He wouldn’t even approve her paint colors. He apparently relents a bit behind the scenes.

And what about that renovation? We have a scene of her working like a dog for what could have been days or could have been weeks or could have been 1 day, trying to make the place habitable. It is in such bad shape she has to stay at a local inn for her own safety.  She is literally sweeping bushes out of the main room and scraping mold off the walls one day and the next she is living there. With no heat, electricity, or running water by the way. It is still a wreck on the outside but in a matter of anywhere from a day to a week it is completed inside and out complete with red trim around the (newly installed) windows, flowers in the window boxes, furniture, art, and a fully decorated Christmas Tree. The timeline is very vague to say the least, but one day Rose goes to Sean’s nice mother’s house for dinner with tarps still on her roof and boarded up holes where the windows are supposed to be, and is given a mince pie. The next scene the house is beautifully restored. It could only have been a day or two because when she next meets the mother again, “Ma” asks her how she liked the pies.

While staying at the picturesque hotel, she develops friendships with two other women. One woman’s story is fairly well developed with a beginning, a middle, and an end. But the other younger woman is just tagging along for the ride, which would be OK except that she drops the bombshell that she is actually a famous pop star (“a legend”, no less) hiding out from “the fame”. Can we have her movie please? Why drop an intriguing hook like that and just do nothing else with it? Oh, and by the way, when she first meets Rose she tells her that she is also in the midst of having her cottage renovated and she expects it to take 18 months. That’s months, not weeks. See above where Rose has hers completely renovated in the blink of an eye and with no hint of an actual worker coming near the place.

She puts the house up for sale asking the same price she paid despite all the money she must have plowed into it. Not surprisingly, she finds a buyer for the now charming little house right away who plans to gut it and flip it. Rose is very disconcerted. When she tattles on the buyers to Sean, he has no problems with those plans-talk about flipping. Suspicious much?

Throughout the movie, Sean and Rose are flirting, bantering, and falling for each other. They also have some serious talks about how damaged they are by their so-called tragic pasts. When they go on a solitary picnic she leans in for a kiss, surprising me because Hallmark Heroines rarely make the first move, and he recoils from her like she suddenly developed scales or a pig snout! I guess he was as surprised as I was over such behavior. After no explanation, other than “Sorry”, he gives her a bro-hug. I mean…I get that the vulnerable soul probably didn’t want to get sexually involved with a transient who would soon be moving on. He has been single for years to avoid another heartbreak. But the only previous heartbreak we know of was when he broke up with his childhood girlfriend after college. That must have been at least 15 years ago and it was a mutual parting of ways because she didn’t want to move back to the village. It was very fishy.  Red flags aplenty with this guy.

Rose is portrayed as emotionally damaged as well which is why she won’t settle down and put down roots. But I just didn’t buy it. Something about guilt that her mother had to give up her love of travel to be her mother? Neither of the protags supposed issues keeping them from being together really made any sense to me.

Anyway, despite Rose planning to move to Scotland after buying another house sight unseen and behind the scenes, she decides not to sell her Irish cottage. There is a lot of “behind the scenes” going on in this movie. Triggered by digging out her old photo of her mother and wondering where it was taken, she changes her mind and decides home is Sean, not a place, and as long as they are together they will be home. Being alone is the trap, not having a home. No more info about the old photo or where it was taken. It is up in the air whether they are going to Scotland or staying in the village though.

They seal the deal by taking the traditional Christmas plunge into the Northern Sea together. Fully clothed in their sweaters and coats. Which is the last scene and my last “What the Heck?!” moment of many not mentioned.

Rating: 5 out of 10.

Autumn at Apple Hill

/ Rebekahrox / 16 Comments

An Easy Watch

Erin Cahill plays Elise, a divorcee who is not-a-mother and is trying to keep her struggling Apple Hill Inn that she inherited from her late grandparents afloat while trying to keep the large hotel chains who are trying to move in on her at bay. It is a beautiful and beloved Inn, but it is falling apart. Her friend and employee Nora has been trying to get her to computerize the administrative duties and use social media for promotion, but Elise feels that this would take it too far away from its roots and old-fashioned charm. Meanwhile, the guests eat their breakfasts with umbrellas at the ready so the pipes don’t leak on their food.  She has a lot to fix and update to make the Inn viable but can’t get a loan until she shows a 15% profit by the end of October. Her banker encourages her to consider partnering with one of the big hotel chains who have come a callin’ but she is dead set against becoming nothing but an employee in her own hotel.

Meanwhile Luke (Wes Brown) is the CFO of a large hotel conglomerate headed by his mother. He is a workaholic who is running his staff ragged. His Mother puts her foot down during a lunch where he will not get off his phone. He is very annoying. To protect her employees from his punishing management style, she cuts off access to his cell phone account and suspends him from his position so he will go on a mandatory vacation. He is horrified and discombobulated. Paula Boudreau plays his elegant resolute mother and when she spikes his guns, we cheer her on. She is a force to be reckoned with. Completely at loose ends, he sees an old photo and fondly remembers growing up in his old hometown of Landover and decides to spend his forced vacation time there. And Landover just happens to be where The Inn at Apple Hill is located! He has fond memories of the Inn and it is there he insists on staying! When Elise looks at the old paper register book (“Oh but the tactile feel of paper though!”) she recognizes his name as a big hotel magnate and assumes he is there to worm his way into taking over her hotel. She proceeds to make his stay as miserable as possible giving him the worst room in the place. The Bates Motel is mentioned.

Eventually Elise finds out that Luke has no nefarious designs on her Inn and they start to get to know each other and work together. With Luke’s help and expertise, will Elise be able to get that loan and save her Inn? It all rests on the success of bringing back the Inn’s traditional Halloween Party that had gone by the wayside 15 years ago.

Despite the often used and predictable storyline. I rather enjoyed this. The surprising twist in Luke and his mother’s business relationship near the end was an unexpected and welcome development. The secondary romance between Nora and the electrician was sweet and added a nice touch. Sarah Luby as Nora was funny and charming. In fact, all of the supporting characters were likable and well-written. Erin Cahill and Wes Brown were fine, especially Wes Brown. They had an easy-going and natural rapport. Before Luke and Elise started making nice, she was the recipient of some pretty brutal and much-deserved assessments of her hospitality. Their back and forth was pretty funny. (“I can show you my plaques!” “ Did you buy them on the internet?”).  When she finds out he is old pals with a respected local tavern owner and mutual friend, relations between them are quick to thaw. She is genuinely ashamed of herself and her learning curve in embracing modern methods and a new attitude were engaging and realistic. She was intelligent and reasonable and didn’t try my patience with stupid pig-headedness. The movie did use my least favorite Hallmark trope, “Bad Business”, but it wasn’t the focus and was over before it became too irritating. It was nice to look at. The tasteful fall decor in contrast to the random and eccentric seasonal bric-a-brac of other networks and Hallmarks not Hallmark-produced, added to the overall pleasantness.

This one had too familiar a plot to get really high marks from me, but it had enough positives to overcome a formula that could have made it tired and boring. Instead, it had a comforting tried and true old-fashioned feel that I really liked. It was easy to watch.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

An Ice Palace Romance

/ Rebekahrox / 10 Comments

The Skating Continues

This premiered in December 2023 on Hallmark’s Streaming Channel. Last night was its network premiere. I didn’t hold that against it because this month’s Rescuing Christmas which had the same kind of roll out was one of last year’s best Christmas movies in my opinion.

I am not going to summarize the plot of this one except to say City Girl, Small Town, Single Father, Old building Saved. The rest of the movie only piles on the tired cliches and tent pole scenes one right after another as the 80 odd minutes tick by. Some of this is to be expected and actually OK for those to who only look at Hallmarks to provide comfort, reliability, and escape from reality. I’m not one of those and there is too much else wrong with this one. Here’s 5 things.

Lori, the city girl, was an Olympic hopeful ice-skater who fell during the trials and “never skated again”. So. No dedication, no courage, no commitment. No nothing. Including sympathy from me.  Not the stuff that Olympic champions are made of and it was probably for the best for all concerned. So the lead girl did not make a good first impression and did nothing to endear her to me later.

The actress was stiff and awkward in this role. Though young and pretty, her makeup was slathered on, even in a scene where she was awakened in bed by a morning phone call. I really thought we were starting to get past that. Plus, in the context of the phone call the makeup situation actually undermined the script. I won’t go into it. But, my God, the lip liner.

Her obligatory  work colleague and confidante embodied every stereotype of the flamboyant gay male possible. He was exhausting.

The lead guy, Mark, who actually is likably played by reliable Hallmark workhorse, Marcus Rosner, is trying to save his skating rink from an evil (and he actually is) corporate developer. He keeps nattering on about how it is the “heart and soul” of the community, how it is all “for the children”, and trying to fundraise to make the improvements necessary to keep his lease. This is not a charity or publicly funded community (one of his favorite words) project. This is his for-profit business and he lives in a huge expensive house.  So-o-o-o-o-o. What is wrong with this picture? A little self-serving maybe?

Lori goes through the whole movie falling for Mark, supporting Marc’s efforts with his rink, accepting gifts from him, and listening sympathetically. She is noticeably disgusted by the the evil developer who is also trying to date her. She befriends Mark’s daughter and coaches her for the skating tournament. After she conquered her little skating aversion, she skates at the Ice Palace incessantly. But when her article comes out, it was not favorable to Mark’s cause! And it’s not because her intimidating female boss edited it behind her back either. It is totally what she wrote. And she doesn’t even warn Mark or have any kind of conversation with him that her article will not be backing him 100%. He is blindsided and humiliated by the smarmy developer who can’t resist taunting him. It is a total stab in the back. The fact that her article is right is beside the point. It was a shocker, but in a WTF way, not in a good way.

I could go on and on (trust me) but I’ll stop there because I don’t want to be tedious about it. I will just assure you that the bad guy is defeated, the ice rink is saved, the development the town needs for rejuvenation happens, and Lori abandons her city career for small town life, ice-skating, love, and motherhood. Didn’t want you to worry. There were some bright spots. Shannon McDonough as Jen, Lori’s local camera operator was good and her little romance with a nerdy architect could have used a lot more attention. And I am always glad to see Mary Long who played the Mayor. And her necklace in one scene was quite eye catching. But I guess that’s a Canadian thing and it’s not really a necklace per se.

Every so often, Hallmark will throw one of these lazy efforts up on the screen.

Rating: 4 out of 10.

Everything Puppies

/ Rebekahrox / 3 Comments

Underdog

I admit I didn’t go into this one with the most open mind. The preview did not impress and I am not a fan of the lead actor or at least the type of hero he usually represents. I like puppies but I was suspicious of the sheer numbers of them in the preview. From the beginning, the acting seemed very stilted and I immediately noticed that little tinkling background music that I thought Hallmark had quit doing and which, to me signals what I don’t know, but I always feel like the production company is trying to hide something or they are trying to lull me into not noticing any rough edges the movie might have. The main thing that put me off though, was the wrong season. If this is a “Countdown to Summer” Hallmark movie, and it is, because I checked, why is everyone wearing sweaters and puffy jackets? And why are there dead leaves swirling all about, an orange wreath, and a hay-bale prop for decoration? What was Hallmark trying to pull here? Pitiful! It violates the unspoken Hallmark covenant that we will have spring movies in the spring, summer movies in the summer, Pumpkin etc. movies in the autumn, and Christmas movies all year round but especially at Christmas. Just kidding, but not really.

Anyway back to the movie. Scarlett and her Dad are totally immersed in the dog and puppy business. The dad breeds and sells golden retrievers in his immaculate home.  He is supposed to be a lovely guy and loves dogs but there are so many puppies at his house, it should be a chaotic mess but it’s not. It was an immediate alarm bell. Scarlet holds 20-something patents or patents pending on dog toys, and designs dog parks and dog houses. Her current project is a dog treat that is very healthy for dogs and is also delicious. And dogs do love it. She and her friend and pet store owner played by sometime Hallmark lead, Kathryn Davis,  are trying to get other pet stores to carry it. After a lot of “no”s she finally pitches it to the hunky general manager (Stephen Huszar, our hero, Alex) ) of one store in a national chain. He agrees to carry the treats when his own dog goes apeshit over them. His regional manager, who has a romantic interest in him, agrees to put it in the other stores in the region and if things go well, there is a prospect of national distribution. It really is a great dog treat and Scarlett is in seventh heaven and goes all out investment-wise. This is where the evil villain, the owner of the big powerful rival dog food corporation named “Pup-Chuck” (Yes! Loved it!) pops up. He knows nothing and cares nothing about dogs or what they eat, he is just interested in profits. He is a caricature of the worst sort of avaricious businessman. He threatens Michelle, the aforementioned regional manager of Pets and Wellness Emporium, that if they allow the vastly superior product in their stores he will pull strings and even turn the FDA loose on them. She has no choice but to cancel the large order from Scarlett’s Pup Palate and break Scarlett’s heart.

Given the subject matter, I was on the watch for the usual ”bad business” scenarios that usually plague Hallmark productions and there were plenty. I am not going to go into all the could-never-happen-in-real-life business stuff, but the highlight was when Scarlett set up a booth promoting their rival product on Paws and Wellness’s private property and right outside their door! Why did they even think they could do that? And the love-struck  store manager lets them! Not surprisingly, higher ups and law enforcement get involved.

There is a good bit of Hallmark’s recurring theme of “work-life balance” tossed into the script and the romance has the usual ups and downs. Really nothing to talk about there. But I love a good David and Goliath story and when the Goliath role is as hiss-worthy as this one was, I couldn’t help but get somewhat invested in the story. When Alex and Scarlett invade his pet store company’s corporate headquarters and crash a big meeting where evil guy is trying to get the CEO to sign an exclusive contract with him, I was on high alert. It turns out that the CEO of the pet store chain was a super great guy and all but told the bad guy to sit down and shut up, he wanted to hear what his store manager and the girl dressed in the dog costume had to say! When he opens the package of Scarlett’s dog treats, his own doggie comes running and pounces on the treat in greedy delight. The head honcho is sold and says, and I quote, “We’ve gotta ask ourselves, what’s more important, a healthy profit line or a healthy puppy? My hero. I really appreciated that the personification of evil and ignorance in the corporate world was balanced by this wise and good man. Can we have a movie about him please?

However, while I appreciated the triumph of the underdog, The vanquishment of evil, and the heroic, wise and good CEO at the end, there were just too many weaknesses and questionable aspects to overcome the positives. It was an unchallenging Hallmark comfort movie full of cute puppies, which is fine for many, but not for me.

Rating: 5 out of 10.

A Whitewater Romance

/ Rebekahrox / 11 Comments

Capsized

“Spoilers”

This is about 4 employees from different parts of the country who meet on a mysterious camp retreat so that Allegra Adams, the head of their corporation, Vesta, can pick one. For what, I have no idea and neither do they. But a lot of words are thrown around like “contract”, “bid”, “launch” “scout” “proposal” and “take the lead”. We do know that Allegra is the powerful and successful CEO of this corporation which has something to do with something technological and that the 4 employees are utterly in her power. They are on this weekend work retreat to compete against each other sometimes and be teammates doing team building sometimes by playing infantile and sometimes dangerous games. Yes, raw eggs and running with them are involved.

Our heroine, Maya, (Cindy Busby), is promised an executive position by her immediate boss if she beats her fellow participants into a bloody pulp using fair means or foul. The phrase “cream rises to the top” is used. If Maya wins, her boss figures, her East Coast Office wins and they will “get the contract.”  It seemed to me that this strategy might not sit too well with the most high boss of bosses, Allegra, who after all, hand-picked all 4 of the participants and who are all her “head engineers,” “ lead scientists,” or “chiefs of production” except Cindy, who works in a cubicle. That is weird. But also weird is that Allegra invited Cindy personally without explanation, skipping over the chain of command entirely.  But Cindy dutifully tries to follow the little boss’s strategy for winning the project. Fortunately, she is just too nice to actually follow through with anything nefarious. But unfortunately, she keeps a handwritten notebook of all of her sketchy spying and dubious plans for her rivals which ultimately leads to the big misunderstanding at the end. Her notebook is somehow found by the man she has grown to love half burned up (but still readable) after she threw it in the campfire in a fit of shame and regret. Why she would throw the notebook of iniquity in the fire goes unasked by Ben and unanswered. But I get ahead of myself.

This is mostly a fish out of water story, with indoorsy Maya, symbolized by her pink clothes while the others are in flannel and khakis, being the fish. It is mostly played for laughs which are not very funny. Lots of antics in this one. Cindy seemed to be trying too hard and Ben Hollingsworth who plays her outdoorsy love interest was handsome but boring.

As Allegra puts them all through their paces with the deadly, interminable, and inane games, camping, and whitewater rafting, I was hoping against hope for a big twist that would partially save this mess. No, not a fatal accident. I was waiting for one of the young tech wunderkinds to finally stand up and challenge Allegra the genius on what the hell all this nonsense had to do with determining which office was most qualified to lead the project at hand. Allegra would then congratulate this maverick on being the only one with a grain of sense and an ounce of leadership, declare them the winner, and ask them what took them so long they should have quit on the first day. I can dream, can’t I? But no, it was all on the level even though they all got promotions and no one got fired. We never find out who “got the contract.” Maya ends up being sent to Paris along with her new boyfriend to head up Vesta’s new international office jumping over the lame promotion she was promised in the beginning by her New York City boss who has apparently been sidelined entirely. And a Lodge is saved.  This one was limp with cliches, tropes, and stereotypes. It made no sense and just seemed like a lame excuse to give Cindy Busby still another adventure in the great outdoors. I like Cindy, or I used to, and Hallmark seems to love her, but it’s been years since I’ve seen her in a movie I really liked a lot.

Rating: 3 out of 10.